Gertie, EOL-doula ,death midwife

11/13/2025

This one is not to far away

10/15/2025

My collum in the local paper today . This conversation is serious but it doesn’t mean it has to be be sad and take over the whole get together but it might be the most important conversation ever

09/25/2025

https://youtu.be/IhrJgefDNgY?si=sZtDpjvqFPErKLzz
This is one of my favorite bands.
They celebrate their 40 anniversary this weekend .
This song , in Limburgs dialect, tells it all . Doesnt matter who you are , how much money you have , if you are a nice person or not , famous or nobody knows who you are , at the end , we all going to die .

Regie: Louk VonckenCamera: Bert Warson/Louk VonckenMontage: Louk VonckenProductie: Sanne BloemRegie assistentie: Tanja NabbenRunner: Lou GeujenLicht: Joris S...

09/23/2025

Two things happened in the last few days that made me write this post .
~ a few years ago I found on FB my first friend and neighbor girl from the time I was 2-5 years old . She didn’t post a lot on FB but via messenger we reminisce and talk maybe once a year . I hadn’t heard from her after my last message and didn’t think nothing about it . This weekend I found out she passed away in March of this year.
~ a FB friend of mine posted a happy birthday message to a mutual acquaintance today after getting a FB notification about his birthday not knowing this person passed away this summer.
Do you know what happens to your social media accounts when you pass away ?
Are there things you can do to prevent notifications going out to your FB friends?
Does someone know your login information so that they can delete your accounts if that is what you wish to happen after you pass away .
To be honest I have not thought about these things a lot , but I guess social media, email accounts and things of that nature are things we should have an end of life plan for
( the picture is of me , my friend Vera who passed away and her sister and is still one of my favorite childhood pictures)

08/26/2025

I had a change to visit the memorial in PA for flight 93 this weekend .
As part of the exhibit you can listen to 3 phone calls recorded on voicemail from people on the plane to their loved ones.
You can hear Linda Gronlund , and part of her message is telling her family that her important papers are in the safe , where the safe icaan be found and what the combination is to get it open .
Do your loved once know where to find important documents if you are not able to tell them ?

08/19/2025

08/10/2025

Yesterday I visited a facility in our area I had never visited before and I was so happy seeing the beds they had . The picture that I posted is just an internet photo but it’s is similar.
A tradition hospital bed created a barrier between the person in the bed and the loved once around the bed as you can pretty much only stand at the bedside or pull up a chair . But these kind of beds , allow for so much more close contact if the patient can tolerate and wants it .
Imagine that you can just lay next to your husband for just a few more minutes , laying in the so familiar spot with your head resting on his/her chest , where you can lay and hold hands , whispering the things you like to say , for a mother or father , grandparents to allow a child to just clim up the bed and be there .
There might be more places around that have them but this just made me so happy

07/22/2025

Re-reading a book I read before and reading a new one to me . Continues learning never stops

07/15/2025

Who story is it to tell ?
I understand why our local hospice is providing their cena's with a company vehicle to go on home visits and how they use that vehicle to advertise and promote themselves in the community, just like some of the other hospice services are doing in the thumb but for me there is also the dilemma of protecting people's privacy.
I drove by a house this week where this car was parked and my first thought was " who needs hospice care in this family " and then my second thought was around privacy. By just having that car parked there it becomes very clear to everyone who goes by that someone in that household is sick and at least is exploring the option to sign up for hospice. Sometimes families are not ready to share that story or news with the outside world at the time they start up that service and even when I am a firm believer that we need to break the taboo around death and dying in this county by having more open talks about it , I also feel very strongly about protecting that wish till they are ready .

07/07/2025

Sometimes it seems there is a divine intervention going on that hard to explain and hard to ignore.
This morning I walked to the scale to get the haylage weights and as usual I have the USB stick dangling from its lanyard.
And out of the blue I hear Dave telling me" are you walking your invisible dog again ?" followed by his laughter. This is something he would ask me if he saw me walking outside .(Or he would ask if I lost my dog again )
It made me smile to remember this as Dave has passed away. But it also made me very emotional and I didn't understand why.
It was not till I realized the first anniversary of his death is coming up soon.
So maybe it is his way of reminding me to cross the road next week and check up on his family. And maybe it has nothing to do with it.
But one thing I know for sure, as long as we say ypur name Dave, you are not forgotten....
(posted with permission)

06/29/2025

A few weeks ago I was asked about my spiritual beliefs and I hesitated to answer as spiritually seems to be one of those hip words being use left or right to make you sign up for a yoga class in the woods or a drumcircke on the beach . But working for 2 days in my yard I realized it just a fancy word for surrounding yourself with things or actions that make you feel good or help you navigate the world we live in .
The Buddha statue: reminds me it’s ok to ponder, not know all the answers
The weathervane; try to find your true north
Jimmy: a reminder it’s ok to not work , to turn your back to the world and sit down with a book
The spiral ; we are all a small part in something bigger
Marie, Maria; my mom would visit her and light a candle every change she got and it soothes me knowing I can share all my joy and troubles with her
The water , the feel, the sound , the look

06/20/2025

Seems simple enough but it takes work to get in that mindset