B-Fit LLC

02/22/2026

Party Girl, Bad Boy, Nice Guy vs Real Men and Women
Do you ever wonder how people who are grown up seem to make childish or irresponsible choices?



This can happen to anyone including ourselves. Look at the Epstein files for instance, how did grown adults behave this way?



One of the ways I went looking for that answer was through reading—and one book in particular gave me language for how this happens.



It described three common ways people adapt to growing up without what they needed for their emotional growth.



The tough guy
The nice guy
The party guy



To make it simpler, I’ll use tough girl, nice guy, and party girl.



The tough girl learns to protect herself by not letting anyone in.



The nice guy learns to please, slowly erasing his own needs.



The party girl looks for relief through fun, pleasure, and distraction—until she loses herself in it.



These patterns aren’t moral failures.



They’re unconscious survival strategies.



When we don’t know another way, protection is what we choose.



The problem is that none of them allow us to live from the heart.



They don’t reveal who we are—they cover it up.



Once I became conscious of these patterns, I started seeing them everywhere—in myself and in the people around me.



That’s when something else began to stand out.



We use phrases like bad boy, nice guy, or party girl all the time, rarely questioning them.



I once heard a woman refer to a man she had an exclusively sexual relationship with as a “sex boy.”(I changed what she said slightly for the sake of the reader).



What struck me was this: all of these labels use boy or girl—not man or woman.

What is a healthy adult vs a dysfunctional one? This blog describes not only what's dysfunctional but what and why being a real man and women really means and its value.

02/21/2026

“ Make each day your masterpiece.”
John Wooden

02/19/2026

“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”
Carlos Castaneda

02/14/2026

The Funbuster: A Valentine’s Day Story ❤️

Here's a real love story for Valentine’s Day.



They were having marital problems.



He wanted to save money.



She wanted to spend it.



Someone recommended me to them, and I think they both trusted me because they could tell I didn’t have an agenda.



I didn’t.



I was simply trying to help them communicate and get to the bottom of what they each truly wanted.



Nothing was wrong with either of their needs—except that they had lost balance.



They were overextended financially.



No retirement savings.

No college fund.



She had also just taken a lower-paying job because of stress.



She wasn’t being difficult.



It was hard for her to see why she should hold back on experiences with her kids and family—experiences that required money.



If I remember correctly, she even called her husband a “fun buster.”

A couple conflict over money becomes a lesson in balance, showing how joy and restraint need each other. By listening with respect and purpose, they discover a path that serves not just the moment, but their shared future.

02/08/2026

The Epstein Files: A Father's Reflection
This week, the release of the Epstein files led to a conversation I never expected to have—one with my son.

As he asked questions, I felt a quiet sadness rise in me.

How is it that I even need to explain to this young man—who means so much to me—that such things exist in our world?

I was trying to stay informed, so I began researching—and then I stopped.

It was too much. I know my limits.

That pause led me to an important question:

How do we stay informed and act as responsible members of our community without subjecting our minds to things that distort us?

Here’s what came to me.

I don’t believe we live in a perfect world, or that there aren’t people who do horrible things.

Ignoring that would be irresponsible—and can even perpetuate the very harm we claim to oppose.

At the same time, I also know that what took place here does not represent the average human being.

I’m not interested in studying how low the human race can go, but quite the opposite—who we can become.

The fact that this crosses political and cultural lines keep us from pointing fingers and maybe helps us to truly address what happened here.

What I told my son about facing a broken world without losing our hearts.

02/03/2026

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love.” ― Leo Buscaglia

A friend asked why I write and share such personal things. Very simple because it can help someone and it's what I love to do. Read this story to understand what it takes to really live well and with purpose.

02/01/2026

“Are you okay?”

A friend asked after reading my blog a few weeks ago about people pleasing and the cost of growing up that way.

“Yes. Why?”

“I’m worried. You’re sharing a lot.

Here’s what I shared with him

I learned about being a “nice guy” or people pleasing nearly 30 years ago, and I’ve been working on myself ever since.

I didn’t write what I wrote because I’m bleeding or unaware.

I wrote it to help others.

How else do we reach the people who truly need help if we don’t offer real-life examples?

I could posture or share information without revealing myself.

But we already have enough of that.

Is it a risk to put myself out there?

Of course.

But what’s the alternative?

A friend asked why I write and share such personal things. Very simple because it can help someone and it's what I love to do. Read this story to understand what it takes to really live well and with purpose.

01/25/2026

Be Grateful You Didn't Get Away with It

Did you ever wonder why bad things happen to good people, and how others seem to get away with everything?

What if I told you, no one gets away with anything, and it may be a blessing to get caught.

I once got caught stealing a cassette tape and was taken to the police station.

I was so rattled I promised myself I would never take anything that wasn’t mine again—and I kept that promise.

Years later, someone I knew was caught selling pot, which was illegal at the time, and he too

was taken to the police station.

I shared with him that maybe this was a warning, a chance to put all of this behind him.

He laughed and said, “Nah, they’ll never catch me.”

A few months later he was caught selling near a school and spent seven and a half years in prison.

That’s the difference between someone who has truly learned a lesson and someone who hasn’t.

But what about the people who never get caught?

Those people concern me the most.

Why do some people get away with things and others don't? Seems unfair right? Well, what if getting caught could be the best thing that happened to you? And what happens to those who don't get caught? Do they get away with it? Actually, No.

01/21/2026

“People do care—but often they can’t see what we’re carrying inside.”

https://bertastacio.com/they-could-see-the-boot-not-the-baby/

01/18/2026

Over winter break, I got hurt.

I was in a boot and on crutches.

Then I developed a stye in my eye that became infected.

I felt—and honestly looked—pathetic.

And yet, something unexpectedly beautiful came out of it.

People held doors for me.

They asked if I was okay and had real concern.

I experienced how attentive and caring people can be when they can see that someone is injured.

That experience stayed with me and brought up a conversation I once had with a client.

She had been deeply hurt by her partner in a long-term relationship.

She said she didn’t feel ready—to trust, to open up, to move forward.

It made me realize something:

We don't often consider how emotionally hurt someone may be because we can’t see it the way we can see a boot or crutches.

I remember a colleague telling me that when her husband was unfaithful, it felt like she had cuts all over her body.

She actually looked at her skin to see if she was bleeding.

I work mostly with people’s interior lives as a coach, so I’m familiar with pain that doesn’t show on the surface.

But wearing that boot made it even more real to me.

People do care.

But we live in a society that doesn’t yet know how to recognize or tend to our interior lives.

So much attention is given to beauty, success, wealth, and notoriety.

And yet, none of these can heal the cuts we carry inside.

So what do we do?

Wearing a boot and using crutches made me realize that people really care when they see we are hurt but what about internal hurts. No one sees how we suffer and we suffer for that. This article helps us to become aware of our inner life and the wounds we cannot see,

01/16/2026

From time to time, I’m going to share reflections from my work to show what’s possible when people are met with understanding and steady support.

One of the populations I work with are capable young men who struggle silently. These reflections are a reminder that change is possible.

Refection:

A man I work with in his 20s is starting college next week after years of feeling stuck and having a negative experience with school.

He’s nervous to begin, but he’s also excited for the first time in his life because he’s clearer about who he is and what he really wants to do. 

Along the way, he’s also regulated his sleep and eating—quiet signs of something deeper settling in.

What I’m reminded of again and again is this: many young men don’t need pressure. They need clarity, care, and direction.

No matter how long things have been the way they are, with the right support, change is always possible.

I’m grateful for the trust of his parents and for the way we were able to work together in support of their son.

If you know of a young man who is struggling, but you also know, has everything he needs….don’t give up on him.

Being stuck isn’t a life sentence with the right help.

www.bertastacio.com

Life and Business Coaching

01/15/2026

Don’t be a nice guy.

Be a good man.