B-Fit LLC

04/23/2026

https://youtu.be/9_VLOAGa75M

https://bertastacio.com/why-modern-relationships-feel-broken-and-why-theyre-not/

2 likes. "Relationships aren’t failing. They are repositioning! "

04/21/2026

“For anything to be good, truly good, there must be love in it. Whether the art is sculpture, farming, teaching, or raising a child-nothing is what it’s supposed to be if love is not at the core.” -from Theo of Golden

04/18/2026

The Affair That Wasn't About Love
He was one of the wealthiest clients I ever worked with… and I found out he was having an affair.



His health was a mess.



Somewhere along the way, in building his success, he picked up a smoking habit… and a drinking habit to go with it.



But that wasn’t the whole story.



He was brilliant.

Charismatic.

Kind.

And I genuinely liked him.



His wife eventually found out about the affair.

Somehow, they managed to put their marriage back together.



But there was one question he couldn’t shake:



What was it about this woman that had such a hold on him?



How could someone as intelligent as him be so easily pulled in?



What made it even more painful…



His wife knew this woman. Trusted her.



They had even helped her financially.



The betrayal cut deep.



He didn’t hire me to fix his marriage.



He hired me because he knew something else was at stake:



His life.



After 35 years of building his career, he could see the direction he was heading.



And if nothing changed… he wouldn’t live long enough to enjoy what he built.



Over time, he opened up about the affair.



At one point, he told me he wanted to see her again.



“Just once more,” he said.



He needed to understand how he got pulled in like that.



Maybe that was true.



Maybe part of him just wanted to feel it again.



I told him not to do it.



He did it anyway.



And that decision ended his marriage for good.



Months later, we talked about it again.



I still wanted to help him. Not just physically—but to see this clearly and be free.



So, we did a little coaching and I asked him something simple:



“What did you actually do with your affair partner that felt so good?”



He thought about it.



“We shopped… we drank… we smoked… we went out… It was fun!”



I said,



“Exactly.”



Then I told him something he didn't expect.

A successful and intelligent man risks everything for an affair, only to discover it wasn’t love—but a reflection of a deeper void within himself. Through coaching and reflection, a powerful truth emerges: real love doesn’t enable self-destruction—it protects against it. The story becomes a ...

04/12/2026

Why Modern Relationships Feel Broken (And Why They’re Not)

I’m noticing something about relationships today.



Men and women—and even boys and girls—are interacting differently than they used to.



Some people call it hookup culture.



Others say a growing number of people aren’t dating at all.



So what’s going on?



I don’t think relationships are in trouble.



I think they’re repositioning.



The old way of doing relationships clearly wasn’t working very well.



If it were, the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high.



Today, fewer people are getting married, and fewer people are even entering relationships in the first place.



That doesn’t mean people don’t want connection.



It means they’re disillusioned with how it’s been done.



Here’s something we don’t talk about enough:



Most of us get very little training in relationships.



We learn by watching our parents.



And if their relationship was unhealthy—or absent—we’re left without a real map.



We’re expected to somehow “figure it out” without ever being taught how.



And here’s a hard truth that might help explain a lot:



Really good relationships elude many people because they’re chasing a fantasy.



To be fair, society sells that fantasy constantly—romance, intensity, chemistry, drama, s*x.



But fantasy can’t substitute for what is actually fulfilling.



Let me share a story that may shed light on this.



There were two dating shows in England.

One was similar to The Bachelor—lots of chemistry, attraction, drama, and emotional highs.



The other matched couples based on values, personality tests, communication styles, and long-term compatibility.



When the shows ended, the results were striking.

https://bertastacio.com/why-modern-relationships-feel-broken-and-why-theyre-not/

04/04/2026

It Wasn't Love....It Was Familiar
“I miss John, I know there were problems… but we had some really good times.”

That’s what my client told me a few months after ending a relationship.

When we first worked together, she needed support walking away from a man who was truly abusing her.

She ended it. Deleted his number.

She did everything right.

But now… she missed him.

And she was thinking about going back.

I understood her more than she knew.

Because I’ve been there too.

For a long time, I struggled to leave relationships that weren’t healthy for me.

I came from a neglected background without my parents, and because of that, I didn’t really know what healthy looked like.

I wasn’t discerning and over gave ignoring what didn’t feel right.

And I attracted people who could sense that—and would take advantage of it.

I thought I was being loving.

But really, I was just used to accepting less than I deserved.

So, when my client said, “we had some really good times,” I paused.

And then I told her something that changed the way I see relationships:

Unhealthy relationships are hard to leave because they aren’t entirely bad—they meet emotional needs and feel familiar. This creates attachment, even when there is pain. True, healthy relationships are not built on intensity, but on mutual care, respect, and a sense of ease. Growth comes from le...

03/31/2026

“ What I’m saying is… to take your life seriously… but not yourself. “

(This week’s session with a client)

03/31/2026

To all the ‘hot mess’s out there!

“There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings.

Those who are at times described as being a 'hot mess' or having 'too many issues' are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world.

Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.”

Anthon St. Maarten

Many people today struggle not because they feel too much, but because they’ve lost touch with their feelings altogether. In a world filled with constant stimulation, anger is often the only emotion that seems acceptable, while fear, sadness, and vulnerability remain hidden. Yet our feelings are e...

03/28/2026

When was the last time you cried?

I curiously asked my client.

He paused, he couldn’t remember the last time.

I can’t really help someone unless they’re able to open up.

But how does someone open up if they can’t feel their feelings?

Feelings are mysterious.

They’re messy.

Most people were never taught what to do with them.

Often we’re taught to push them away, ignore them, or quickly comfort someone so the feeling goes away.

But without our feelings, we can’t really navigate the world.

In fact, we become disconnected from it—like trying to touch everything while wearing thick gloves.

Many people today struggle not because they feel too much, but because they’ve lost touch with their feelings altogether. In a world filled with constant stimulation, anger is often the only emotion that seems acceptable, while fear, sadness, and vulnerability remain hidden. Yet our feelings are e...

03/27/2026

When was the last time you cried?

03/22/2026

FROM PAIN TO FAITH: WHY I STILL WALKED INTO A CHURCH


The Beginning

It must have been 100 degrees in the tent we were in for church service in Barbados.



I was about 4 years old, and my grandmother was an avid churchgoer.



I didn’t understand church, but it was one of the only times I got out of the house—so I decided to enjoy it.



I’d sing as loud as I could, and I remember people turning around and smiling at me.



I’d also fall asleep. It was so hot.



My grandmother didn’t like that.



She would hurt me to wake me up.



I’m sorry if this is hard to read, but there’s a reason I’m sharing it.



She would stick needles in me or pinch my earlobes so hard with her nails that they would bleed.



My earlobes constantly had scabs on them.



I’ve thought a lot about why she did this.



I know she was overwhelmed—raising five kids, living in poverty.



I’ve also heard she struggled mentally.



I don’t say that to excuse it. Just to understand it.



The Conflict

Because of that, I should be the last person you’d expect to walk into a church.



I should have the most resistance to anything related to faith.



But something in me never let it go.



I couldn’t explain it, but I felt like faith mattered.

Despite painful childhood experiences tied to church, I felt an unexplainable pull toward faith. Instead of rejecting it, I committed to exploring it fully—and discovered that beyond the imperfections, it created space for meaning, connection, and growth. This isn’t about convincing anyone what ...

03/17/2026

“Find a purpose. Stay engaged. Keep the lights on.”

This piece is a tribute to my father—a gifted jazz drummer, hard worker, and good man—who taught me the importance of purpose and staying engaged in life. Watching him slowly step away from what gave him meaning showed me how easy it is to drift when purpose is lost. His life, and a song by Bill...

03/15/2026

This is my dad.



He was a cool guy—and I’m going to brag on him for a minute.



He was a jazz musician, entrepreneur, handyman, convenience store owner, military man, and so much more.



He had the deepest voice.



And he was strong like you wouldn’t believe.



Shaking his hand was like shaking hands with a catcher’s mitt.



More than anything, he was a good man.



He taught me to work hard and always do the right thing.



He already had a full life before he met my mom, and he brought four kids who weren’t his from another country to be a father to them.



No small task.



He came out of retirement to do this, and we struggled financially—but he did all he could.



He worked during the day and played music on the weekends.



And I’m not just saying this—my dad was one of the best jazz drummers in the business.



He had a touch on the drums that was unbelievable.



He was discovered as a kid, banging on buckets.



From there, he played with some of the top jazz musicians of his time.



Eventually, he retired and moved to Las Vegas.



Before that, when we lived together in New Jersey, he played regularly in Atlantic City.



As he got older, I saw him less and less—him living out west and me on the East Coast.



When I did visit, most of the times he’d just sit and watch TV.



He played some when he first got to Vegas, but eventually he stopped. I was concerned. He was gaining weight, and his health wasn’t great.



I spoke to him a few times about playing drums again.



He’d just say, “I don’t feel like dragging those things up there and back.”



I wasn’t good at arguing with him—but I wish I had done it more.

Continue reading here:
https://bertastacio.com/keep-the-lights-on/