02/19/2026
“Thank you for calling. Iguana speaking. State your emergency.”
Caller: “My brain has 47 tabs open and one of them is playing music but I can’t find it.”
Iguana: “Noted. Mental static. When did you last feel focused?”
Caller: “I honestly don’t remember. I keep walking into rooms and forgetting why I’m there.”
Iguana: “Typical memory buffering. Your RAM is full. Are you sleeping?”
Caller: “I woke up tired.
Iguana: Hmmm, Any physical glitches?”
Caller: “My eye has been twitching for three days.”
Iguana: “Confirmed. You’re not falling apart, you’re overloaded and operating on a 3% battery. initiating system override.”
[CLICK]
To bypass the burnout and force-quit the stress:
🚨 Press 9 for 90 minutes.
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