Power In Your Hands

04/09/2025

In memoriam: Chris Hammer, one of my greatest teachers and mentors, an intensely beautiful soul, and greatly missed figure in our Somatic Therapy world.

Read on below.

07/09/2023

A more personal post for a Sunday. I've legally gone back to my "maiden" name, many-years post-divorce. I talk here about my shifting relationship to names, the intense legal process (and expense) of changing them, and thoughts on how this must impact people less privileged than myself, particularly trans people.

In which I examine my various axes of privilege in the face of intense government bureaucracy

06/30/2023

"They call it Somatic Experiencing!" I get a little salty over the NYT's coverage of what is apparently the latest hot therapeutic trend. If you enjoyed this, please share and subscribe!

To which I say...eh?

06/10/2023

Lesson Learning & Laughter wrote a great little piece about what happens when traumatized people (hello!) are in relationships with more securely attached people, and I've shared it in my Substack this week. As usual, if you like this, please hit one of the subscribe buttons and/or share it along!

And taking a small rest

06/02/2023

Last year's Pride post, reshared here, is about my own journey as a protector. This year, I'm thinking about how to do that more. As always, if you like this, please subscribe and share.

A rerun about protection and family at a dark time

05/26/2023

In case you want to see my talk from last week, or other people's, or read some posts of mine from earlier in the newsletter - here's all that in one place! As always, please hit subscribe to receive these in your email inbox.

Plus, some early posts

05/16/2023

I'm doing an event tomorrow on communication in polyamory. I hope you can join us. My interview is at 6pm EST, but the event goes all day, starting at noon EST (9am PST). My newsletter below has more details!

I'm getting interviewed with a bunch of other thinkers

05/11/2023

On loss, healthy online spaces, and how connection can happen even outside touch.

On death, writing, and community

05/05/2023

Telling stories is one of the ways we naturally make sense of difficult experiences. But what happens when that process is interrupted by abusive, neglectful, or controlling people? As always, if you find this helpful, please share it and/or subscribe.

The stories that trap us — and how revision can help

04/16/2023

What you liked when you were younger matters. On not letting cynicism take things from you.

Old art, new eyes — tween edition

03/31/2023

Talk of repetition compulsion, e.g. why do some people keep dating abusive a-holes over and over, what do traumatized people's bodies learn about love and care, and how do we begin to heal? As always, if you like this or it's useful to you, please pass it on and/or subscribe. Thanks.

Repetition compulsion and the difficulty of intimacy

03/17/2023

At last, part 3: how to set boundaries constructively.

How to set boundaries constructively