Mindset Counseling Solutions

11/14/2025

11/10/2025

That's being wise

11/06/2025

When your relationship moves outside the window of tolerance…
You stop feeling like teammates and start feeling like enemies. Conversations turn into fights. Words are designed to hurt instead of heal. And your nervous system goes into survival mode and emotional safety disappears.

When you can stay in’s side the window of tolerance, something different happens. You can stay open to each other’s perspectives. You can co-regulate. You can connect with your heart, head, and body all at once. You can enjoy being together, not because everything is perfect, but because you both feel emotionally safe enough to stay engaged.

11/03/2025

DBTSkills. Emotion Regulation Module. DBT deals with all emotions and says that no emotions are ' bad' or ' good'.

We need the whole range. Including anger.
What we usually need to learn to do is manage our anger and learn to express it appropriately.
Below is the infographic ' the Anger Volcano' which illustrates what happens when we don't have the skill to regulate anger.

DBT Emotion Regulation Skills help with this.

Visual credit : Hope Trust.

10/31/2025

10/28/2025

Signs therapy is working (the quiet ones you might miss)
• You take a breath before reacting.
• You feel a little more in your body, instead of hovering outside of it.
• You start asking: "Wait... do I actually want to keep doing it this way?"
• You notice a little more compassion toward yourself.
• Naming your feelings feels less like pulling teeth, more like telling the truth.
• You catch yourself using a coping skill in real time that's progress).
• You can hang with uncomfortable feelings a few beats longer before shutting down.
• You start saying "no" or "not today" and feel more able to hold boundaries.
• You reach out for support instead of isolating.
• You bounce back from hard moments faster than before.
• Therapy isn't about becoming a different person. It's about unfolding more of you.

Hesed Place - Complex Trauma Recovery on

10/27/2025

10/27/2025

Not just kids but in relationships too! Point out the good! ❤️

Want to know one of the simplest, most powerful tools in parenting?

👉 Catch your child being good.

Research from Yale psychologist Alan Kazdin shows that noticing and naming positive behavior — even tiny moments — shapes kids’ brains far more effectively than focusing on what they’re doing wrong.

Instead of: “Stop interrupting.”
Try: “I really like how you waited until I finished talking.”

Every time you name what’s going right, you strengthen the connection and increase the chances your child will do it again. 💛

10/23/2025

A top tier sign of childhood trauma is not having full access to our basic human emotions that we are born with. (joy, sadness, shame, disgust, curiosity, anger, surprise)⁠
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When I started in therapy, all I could feel was shame and anxiety. I was scared of the fact that I couldn't feel joy, spontaneity, and real grief or appropriate sadness. I was intimately aware of feeling numb.⁠
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We can feel that emotions such as joy, sadness, disgust and anger are somewhat broken for us. They're not. We are just disconnected with them. Hallmark commercials of family love can make a tiny, brief connection where you're a bit shocked about where all that emotion came from.⁠
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As children, we leave our emotional body (emotions) to keep ourselves safe, and I wish we could choose to keep the joy and skip the fear, but it doesn't work like that when a child isn't safe. There are innate feelings we are all born with.⁠
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I discuss this in depth in a YouTube video called "3 Unnamed Childhood Trauma Symptoms - CPTSD" a quick google with bring it right up for you. ⁠
The concept is⁠ something I call compromised emotional imbalance.⁠
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Disgust is often confusing - if you have ever been in an abusive relationship, lack of anger and disgust of how the person is treating you is a sign that your innate anger and disgust are disconnected.⁠
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They are not lost, broken and never part of you, they are just disconnected. ⁠
You just⁠ need to get plugged into them. I was able to get the spectrum of basic feelings back by processing my childhood story with safe people in therapy and finishing the emotional business I had with my family. We can't make the connection without digging up what happened to us in safety.