10/04/2025
Normal, decent, healthy, and functional people DO NOT discard!
Relationships end for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes one of the best things to do is to implement a no contact strategy to give you the space to heal, BUT there is a very big difference between a breakup and a discard by a narcissist or someone who has narcissistic traits or tendencies; because a discard is one sided and it's selfish!
It comes completely out of the blue and things end suddenly and abruptly without warning.
Your heart is crushed and completely devastated by this sudden and unexpected impact.
Your reality turns to disbelief and confusion as you begin to question your worth.
Your entire world is turned completely upside down, and you struggle to even function because you can't make sense of something that you didn't even see coming.
A normal breakup or a breakdown of a relationship on the other hand is a always gradual process.
You know that the relationship is struggling, you know that you've been growing apart, but you've been trying to fix things and make it work over a period of time.
There are conversations and communication around how to fix things, and problems are spoken about with empathy, care, and respect because there is a mutual respect for the relationship and the person who you love.
It's possible that perhaps one person wants the relationship more than the other person does at this stage because the other person is tired or exhausted, but the ending of a relationship is still a gradual process, and if the relationship does eventually end, it doesn't come as a rude shock out of the blue.
It doesn't just end suddenly and abruptly out of left field one day.
A discard on the other hand blindsides you.
It is abrupt, it is sudden, and it does come out of nowhere.
A toxic, narcissistic, or emotionally immature person will flick a switch without any thought or care towards how you feel, or the hurt and damage that it causes you.
You suddenly don't matter, more than you didn't matter before.
They'll become incredibly cold towards you, and they will shut down all forms of communication just to avoid you, and avoid taking accountability or facing the hurt and trauma they've just caused, but they know they've abandoned you and they know what they've done.
Even if you show them your emotions, your tears, and you show them that you're hurting; they'll actually become angry at you, and maybe even call you draining or exhausting for showing your emotions that they've caused.
This is not what a normal, decent, healthy, loving, person does to someone.
People with integrity and a kind, compassionate heart don't just throw away someone like they're a piece of garbage.
Relationships end every single day; breakups are inevitable and they are a part of life, and there are many reasons why sometimes a normal breakup should happen.
But a discard is nasty, it's cruel, it's calculated, it's cold, it's unfair, and in most cases it's manipulative.
It's what people who are emotionally immature do.
It's what people who are dysfunctional, unhealed, and insecure do.
Know that there is a difference!
There is a very big difference between a breakup that is the best thing to happen for the two people involved, versus a discard from a narcissist or a toxic person.
One contains respect, empathy, care, and integrity; the other one doesn't at all!
~ Mark Smith
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