ryanlandau.live

11/14/2025

What shows up in Intimate Relationships, especially Romantic Partnership/Marriage, is there — FOR US!

Not — FOR US — to defend, protect, control, and manipulate!

FOR US — to grow, to learn to love — by beginning to RETRAIN AND RESHAPE what LOVE ACTUALLY feels like!

And, it’s never quite what it seems. Our tendency to place blame and responsibility on our partner/spouse is often a recreation of a childhood event that we have yet to fully heal. The work isn’t in them (albeit it they may have some work to do)… the work is in us.

Dare to lean in differently!

Dare to feel what’s there!

Dare to rediscover and deepen what the pain is trying to show you!

Much love 🙏🏽,

Ry

11/01/2025

Do you know what the victim/drama triangle is?

Do you understand how it plays out in your life?

Why is it important?

Because change is almost always impossible if we’re operating and trying to force change from inside of it.

The more unhealed trauma we have… the more at risk we are for trying to create life from the imprisonment that it is.

We want our work to reveal what we’re strengthening.

Is your work is not strengthening more of the victim, persecutor, or rescuer? Or is it strengthening vulnerability, intimacy, and freedom to create the experience we want?

Much love 🙏🏽,

Ry

11/01/2025

You can’t simply think your way into a new life, you have to live your way into it.

Action, vulnerability, full-body/connected experiences are the ones that can translate into a different life.

Thinking and intellectual learning is important, AND if it’s the only thing occurring we’ll fall short of fully experiencing a different life.

The others parts of us, throat, heart, gut, etc. and what they’re feeling/sensing are an invaluable and necessary piece of the process.

We don’t experience a new way of being in the world until we show up differently!

(I know I’ve tried! 😬)

Dare to be something different!

Dare to do something different!

Dare to create a new experience!

Much love 🙏🏽,

Ry

10/29/2025

“Stopping the bleeding” can be necessary at times, and a relationship that remains on that path forfeits the opportunities of growth.

If we want extraordinary, committing to real growth - for life - is a non-negotiable!

And understand, transformative growth is more about surrendering to become who you always were! It’s a letting go of old ideas, habits, etc. It’s a making space for the extraordinary to enter, arrive, be born!

Dare to create an extraordinary relationship and life!

Much love 🙏🏽,

Ry

10/27/2025

The intimacy we so deeply yearn for is on the other side of the space we have to make for it!

You can have what you want when you believe you can have it.

In order to do this, you have to make space for it.

We have to let go of, surrender, release:
- old stories
- old ways
- old habits
- old s**t

The new cannot enter if we’re preoccupied with the old!

And the good news is — the smallest of shifts can lead to the biggest of changes!

Much love 🙏🏽,

Ry

10/25/2025

The formula for “moving on” is often about trying to forget how it was.

We suppress, push it away, sweep it under the rug.

We tell ourselves we just need to get past it.

We convince ourselves we just need to get over it.

Out of sight out of mind… right?

Wrong!

The versions and chapters we’re avoiding remain there.

They’re driving much of how we live today, and ofteb in ways we can’t see or appreciate.

We have to see and feel what is asking to be felt!

This is the way towards a transformed and authentic version of ourselves and towards a renewed relationship with life!

Dare to feel what’s there… in new and deeper ways!

Much love 🙏🏽,

Ry

10/24/2025

Our “not good enoughness” has an uncanny way of creating isolation.

We call it tough.

We call it independence.

We call it alpha.

What is it really? It’s our survival instincts sabotaging our connection to life in the name of pride and ego. Instead of allowing life to teach us — humble us — we go harder! The consequence: a sense of quiet desperation.

The good news — more and more men are slowly opening up to the work!

Dare to reach out!

Dare to get vulnerable!

Much love 🙏🏽 ,

Ry

10/23/2025

It’s resurfacing so we can tend to it!

Dare to resist the temptation to numb or escape it, and instead ask: what’s this here to teach me?

Much love,

Ry

10/23/2025

10/23/2025

Want to know where the real work is located?

It lies in the space between who we are, who we think we are, and who we want to be.

In order to do this, we need to sees someone holding us accountable as a gift — not a threat.

Dare to the real work!

Much love,

Ry

10/21/2025

Defensiveness = Blocks

Openness = Receives

What do you want?

Dare to !

Dare to !

Much love 🙏🏽,

Ry