04/16/2026
Lately I’ve been thinking about what I want my kids to say about their childhood when they grow up.
As a therapist, I hear every day what people subconsciously learned about themselves, life, love, and God based on how their parents lived, treated them, and interacted with one another. In therapy, they work hard to untangle the lies that snuck in and relearn the truth about their worth, value, and belovedness.
I think often about the fact that we have a fallen nature and will all be imperfect parents, harming our kids in one way or another regardless of how well-meaning we are. To me, that is actually freeing. We can release the pressure to be perfect because we never will be. Yet we can still parent intentionally and with love, allowing God’s mercy and grace to fill in the gaps.
My kids ask me to tell them stories about my childhood every night at bedtime. Because my family tends to tell the “remember when you got in so much trouble” stories, it actually takes effort for me to recall the joyful ones in detail. That has taught me that I want us to be a family that retells the good stories over and over again. I want their hearts, minds, and souls to be filled with memories of joy, peace, and love.
Lately I’ve been asking myself:
❤️What did the tone around the dinner table feel like?
❤️When they messed up, what did they expect my reaction to be?
❤️When they were hurt or confused, where did they turn for support?
❤️What was their favorite thing to do with us, and how often did it happen?
❤️When, where, and how did they experience the most attention?
❤️Did marriage and family life seem like something they would want for themselves based on their experience?
❤️Did they have the boundaries necessary to keep them safe without creating anxiety over worst case scenarios?
❤️If they saw God’s love through the lens of our love as parents, did we reflect that well?
I am not finished reflecting on this topic, but it has been stirring in my mind lately. What do you think? Is this something you’ve spent much time thinking about too?
