Bertani Wellness - Colleen Bertani PC

11/10/2023

08/20/2021

Learn to take care of you —-long term.
Still take bubble baths with candles and go to sleep early though 😁

08/16/2021

Yeah Toxic positivity is a thing- and we sometimes do it to ourselves. It’s ok if you’re not ok - some days aren’t great and it’s ok to not feel happy all the time.

06/02/2021

Good awareness about anxiety. People are just trying to get by and cope.

04/28/2021

Are you regularly unhappy with the people around you— especially your spouse or children? This is very helpful information. We are only in control of ourselves and our reactions to others.

This is a very hard task, especially for parents and those in a romantic relationship. It’s hard especially when where they are at is not where you want them to be. So how do you deal with a situation like this?

1. Practice radical acceptance: acceptance of your emotions (frustration, anger) without judgement. Acceptance of the reality of the situation (unhappiness comes when our reality does not meet expectations). Acceptance of the fact that you cannot control others only your reactions and actions. Acceptance that uncomfortable boundaries may be needed.

2. Analyze the why behind your desire for the other person to change. And analyze the why behind your expectations. Is this projection? Are trying to externally craft your world to be a better version of what’s going on internally?

3. Have your own safe outlet- maybe a therapist or trusted friend. This is where you can safely vent and find perspective

4. Be patient and compassionate with the other person AND yourself. Offer to be a support how they need you to be. Sometimes you don’t have to say anything- just simply being present and aware is enough!

For more strategies see my new book Cleaning up Your Mental Mess: https://www.cleaningupyourmentalmess.com

01/21/2021

Reproductive PTSD is real. Normal parents are the fertile population that doesn’t understand that having a baby cures childlessness—but not infertility. It’s ok to complain about a pregnancy that you fought so hard to achieve and it’s ok to recognize that birth announcements still knock the breath out of you — years later. Reproductive PTSD is real.

Infertility is a strange beast of burden, but we are grateful that these days our arms hold up children—and, also each other. Read this personal story.

08/25/2020

Stop over functioning.

You don’t need to say yes, you don’t need to answer right now, you don’t need to make everyone happy, you don’t need to rearrange your schedule for someone else’s needs or requests, you don’t need to do it all, you don’t need fill the silence with words, you don’t need to jump in and answer for others, you don’t need to make excuses for other people’s behavior. Stop anticipating people’s needs. People won’t get better or well or change if you keep doing it for them.

Stop.over.functioning.

07/06/2020

I’ve been a therapist for over 20 years and not one person have *I* changed. Why? Because every person is in charge of deciding they need help or to change themselves. I can offer suggestions or help people through tragedy or difficulties but if people choose not to change or get well or use my help I have no control over that. If wanting to change someone has been a driving force for you or if someone else’s behavior or choices dictate your days and mood read below and do some further reading of what codependency is. We are only in control of ourselves ... and our reactions to others.

06/26/2020

Helpful and handy advice especially now. Every human just wants to be validated and heard.

05/17/2020

Quiet that mean voice or at least recognize how often it shows up. Differentiate it from the kind one. Work on allowing the kind one to be louder.

05/05/2020

Boundaries aren’t rude - even if they’re bold or very direct. It’s your boundary, it’s your line to set. If people don’t like them they don’t have to share your life or space. If they want to share in your life and space they can respect your lines.