The Power of Pleasure

The Power of Pleasure Xanet Pailet is the author of Living an Or****ic Life, now available for pre-order at https://amzn.t Has your s*x life become routine and boring?

Are you looking for ways to deepen your passion and intimacy? Are you getting what you want from your relationship? Do you feel comfortable expressing your true s*xual self? The Power of Pleasure offers a unique approach to s*x and intimacy coaching that is more powerful and effective than traditional relationship talk therapy. Using a somatic based embodied approach, we will help you become empowered around your s*xuality and be able to understand and express your needs and desires. You will learn new skills to become a better and more confident lover, increase your s*xual energy, and create more intimate and juicy relationships. We take an experiential approach to s*x and intimacy coaching enabling you to practice new skills and receive immediate feedback. While at all times we maintain a high level of professionalism, our sessions our often filled with fun and laughter as we explore new experiences, deepen connection, and examine our edges.

I recently guested on Shut Up And GRIND podcast with Robert B. Foster (Robert B. Foster - The Storytelling Coach) , and ...
12/26/2025

I recently guested on Shut Up And GRIND podcast with Robert B. Foster (Robert B. Foster - The Storytelling Coach) , and this conversation went deep.

We explored:
🔥 Why so many relationships become disconnected long before couples admit it
🔥 How shame, trauma, and numbness live in the body—not just the mind
🔥 What it really takes to restore emotional safety, desire, and intimacy
🔥 Why pleasure is a birthright, not something you earn

I also shared my personal journey—coming out of a 26-year secsless marriage, experiencing my first true secsual awakening at 50, and how that moment changed everything.

This episode is about more than relationships.
It’s about remembering who you are in your body.

đź’¬ If this resonates with you, I'm sharing the episode link and a free gift in the comments below.

You don’t have to stay disconnected.
There is another way.



One of my favorite things about this time of the year is that we get to create our very own S*xy Christmas tree. This y...
12/24/2025

One of my favorite things about this time of the year is that we get to create our very own S*xy Christmas tree. This year we decided to pitch the toxic, plastic Christmas tree in favor of a wooden one, which we ended up also painting with glitter. It's also sitting on top of the stump of a tree that came down during Hurricane Helene. And Yes...that's RBG on the top (even though I'm so mad at her...)

I know it's a bit unusual, but it's a fun way for Daren and I to ring in the holidays and to be a bit crazy and creative. We also love adding new additions to the tree...Can you guess what we added this year? (Hint...it stands out and might describe me at times...).

Do you have any s*xy Christmas traditions? Another one (that I won't post on iG) is dressing up as Mrs. Clause and doing a strip tease to "Santa Baby" along with a dear friend! And of course I love Daren's red velveteen Christmas boxers with bells in the right place that I gifted him for our first Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas gifts, if you've been searching for the perfect gift for your honey, I have the ultimate solution. Spend a week in Costa Rica at my Passion in Paradise Couples Intimacy Retreat--Feb 9-15, 2026. And from now until the end of year, I'm honoring my Black Friday pricing of $6000 per couple. (See link in the comments below.)

12/23/2025

When couples reach out to me, they’re rarely doing it casually.

Most are at the end of their rope.

They’re often considering separation or divorce — not because they don’t love each other, but because the relationship isn’t working anymore, especially around intimacy. Many are in s*xless marriages (less than 10 times a year), or struggling with desire, communication, and emotional safety.

What they’re looking for isn’t just “better s*x.”

They want:
• To feel connected again
• To feel seen and understood
• To communicate without shutting down or exploding
• To repair what’s been broken over years — sometimes decades

In my work, I see this pattern again and again:

The root cause is almost always emotional disconnection.

Unrepaired conflict.
Unspoken hurts.
A growing fear that sharing feelings will only make things worse.

Over time, couples end up emotionally far apart — even while living under the same roof.

That’s the work we start with.
Because intimacy can’t return until emotional safety does.

👉 I’ll put the link to explore my intimacy retreats in the comments.

*xlessMarriage

I was recently on The Unforget Yourself Show (Unforget Yourself ), and we had a conversation that matters—especially for...
12/19/2025

I was recently on The Unforget Yourself Show (Unforget Yourself ), and we had a conversation that matters—especially for couples who feel like they’ve tried everything.

One of the biggest things I shared is this:

Most intimacy problems start as emotional disconnection.
Not feeling seen. Not feeling understood. Conflict that goes unrepaired for years… sometimes decades.
And when you don’t feel emotionally safe, your body doesn’t want to open—secs becomes tense, avoided, or disappears completely.

In the episode, we talked about:
• why I’m often the last stop for couples who are close to separating
• what a secsless marriage is commonly defined as (less than 10 times a year)
• why I’m not a talk therapist—and why my work is embodied
• my motto: you can’t talk your way into better secs—you have to feel your way into it
• how retreats work because we can address triggers and patterns in the moment, not after the fact

We also touched on shame—how so many of us learned about secs from p**n, movies, or silence… and how normalizing this conversation is part of healing.

If you want the episode link, check the comments below.

*xlessMarriage

I was recently a guest on The Unforget Yourself Show, and the conversation lingered with me long after we wrapped.We exp...
12/19/2025

I was recently a guest on The Unforget Yourself Show, and the conversation lingered with me long after we wrapped.

We explored something many people don’t say out loud:
That you can be competent, driven, self-aware—and still feel deeply disconnected in your relationship.

We talked about:
• why intimacy fades even when there’s commitment
• how unresolved conflict lives in the nervous system
• why “trying harder” often makes things worse
• and what real safety and repair actually look like

This episode isn’t about blame.
It’s about understanding the deeper patterns that shape connection—and how to shift them with compassion.

If this speaks to you, I’d love for you to listen.

Check the link to the full podcast in the comments below.

We talk about strategy, growth, and performance in business all the time—but we rarely talk about intimacy.And yet… when...
12/17/2025

We talk about strategy, growth, and performance in business all the time—
but we rarely talk about intimacy.

And yet… when your relationship feels distant, tense, or lonely,
it touches everything:
your energy
your patience
your creativity
your nervous system

I was recently on The Enricher Business Circle Podcast (https://www.facebook.com/nexambit), and we had one of those conversations that usually stays behind closed doors:

✨ Why high-achievers often feel disconnected at home
✨ How unresolved conflict slowly creates distance
✨ What emotional safety really looks like
✨ Why trauma-informed work changes how we relate

If you’ve been wondering why “holding it together” still feels exhausting—
you’re not broken.

You might just need a gentler, more embodied path forward.

đź’¬The link to the podcast is in the comments below.

12/16/2025

In The Enricher Business Circle Podcast (https://www.facebook.com/nexambit), I was asked why so many successful, driven people feel disconnected in their relationships.

What I see is this:

When business becomes the main focus, relationships often get placed on autopilot.

Not because love disappears—
but because intimacy needs intention.

Unrepaired conflict turns into resentment.
Avoiding difficult conversations creates distance, not peace.

Intimacy grows when we:
• make the relationship a priority
• address conflict instead of avoiding it
• learn how to repair and reconnect

🎧 Watch the full podcast episode:
👉 Link in the comments below.

Real talk: intimacy affects everything.Not just your relationship—your energy, mood, creativity, confidence, and even ho...
12/12/2025

Real talk: intimacy affects everything.

Not just your relationship—your energy, mood, creativity, confidence, and even how you show up in your work and leadership.

I was recently featured on The Enricher Business Circle Podcast (NexAmbit Marketing ) and we talked about:

💛 s*xless marriages + why they’re more common than people admit
💛 how disconnection happens slowly (especially when you’re busy + driven)
💛 why “repairing conflict” is one of the most underrated intimacy skills
đź’› what trauma-informed intimacy support actually looks like (no shame, no judgment, no pushing past boundaries)

If you’ve been feeling disconnected… you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. There’s a way back.

Link to the full episode is in the comments.

*xlessMarriage

12/11/2025

Witnessing couples awaken to a deeper version of themselves—and each other—is one of the greatest privileges of my work.

Matt & Ginger arrived at one of my retreats unsure of what they would uncover. What unfolded was profound:

✨ A clearer understanding of themselves and the patterns shaping how they love
✨ A renewed compassion and appreciation for each other
✨ Confidence, courage, and access to deeper passion
✨ Powerful experiences with sensory tools and erotic blueprints
✨ Connection to their core desires
✨ A more open, emotionally safe pathway back to intimacy

What moved me most was watching them walk away with tenderness, insight, and a new sense of possibility for their relationship.

For couples who want to rebuild emotional safety, deepen intimacy, and rediscover pleasure together… our next February Couples Group Vacation Retreat is now open.

📌 I’ll place the link in the comments below.

Your relationship is worthy of this kind of care.
And I would love to guide your journey.

*xandintimacy

12/10/2025

So many couples feel more disconnected today than couples did 20 or 30 years ago — and it’s not because they care less or try less.

Our lives are noisier.
We’re flooded with stress.
And our attention is constantly pulled into devices instead of toward our partners.

In this clip from my recent guest interview with Hilda Lunderstedt, I talk about the very real impact that distraction, disconnection, and overwhelm have on intimacy inside marriage.

If you’re ready to rebuild emotional and physical closeness:

đź’¬ Check the comments below afor a free tool to help you get started.

*xAndIntimacy

12/09/2025

There was a long period in my life when I didn’t understand why everything felt so heavy and disconnected.
I wasn’t just struggling in my marriage—I was struggling inside my own body and heart.

No emotional connection.
No touch.
Separate beds.
And the constant question: Is this really my life?

My awakening began when I joined Unity of NYC and finally learned how to turn inward.
Meditation. Intuition.
Asking myself: What do I want? Who am I when I’m not performing for others?

But the intimacy piece?
That took ten years of unlearning, healing, and practicing.

Only recently—especially in my new relationship—did I finally understand what true intimacy actually feels like:
❤️ Being fully authentic
❤️ Being accepted for ALL of who I am
❤️ Loving someone with the same depth and honesty

For more guidance and information, see comments below... It’s where real transformation begins.

*xAndIntimacyCoach

So many women secretly wonder, “Why doesn’t in*******se get me to or**sm?”And for years, they’ve been taught to think so...
12/06/2025

So many women secretly wonder, “Why doesn’t in*******se get me to or**sm?”
And for years, they’ve been taught to think something is wrong with them.

The truth?
Most women don’t or**sm from pe*******on alone — and their bodies are working exactly as they’re designed.

I created a new carousel that breaks down the myth, the real anatomy, and what actually helps women access pleasure and connection.

If you’ve ever felt broken, pressured, or confused around this topic… this will be eye-opening and validating.

And if you want to dive deeper, I explore this — plus nine more intimacy myths — in my upcoming book: The S*x & Intimacy Repair Kit (March 2026)

✨ Pre-order now. Link to learn more will be in the comments below.

*xualHealing *xAndIntimacyRepairKit

Address

110 Carlotta Cir
Mill Valley, CA
94941

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Tuesday 11am - 7pm
Wednesday 11am - 7pm
Thursday 11am - 7pm
Friday 11am - 4pm
Saturday 10am - 4pm

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+14155627018

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