Holistic Counseling Center Long Island

11/10/2025

Understanding how childhood trauma presents in behaviour. Source: Unknown

11/10/2025

“Self-esteem is your reputation with yourself.” – Nathaniel Branden

YOU ARE YOUR PATTERNS.

is built through your own actions and adherence to your .

It means that your is not determined by external factors, but by how you see yourself based on your , , and .

: The “voice in your head,” aka your , plays a significant role in how you perceive yourself. Pay attention to how you coach yourself.

Personal Accomplishments: Learning new skills and achieving personal goals builds a sense of competence and . It builds trust in your own abilities and judgment.

Actions and Integrity: Your with yourself is earned by living up to your own standards and acting in ways that earn your own respect.

: One way to build self-esteem is by consistently adhering to your own moral code and boundaries. Protecting your self-worth insures your own value as a person.

If you are looking for individual in , , contact the of .

Please note that we do not accept insurance. However, we can provide you with statements for OON benefits.

https://hcc-li.com/self-esteem-is-your-reputation-with-yourself/

11/04/2025

Job insecurity significantly impairs , leading to increased levels of , , and .

The associated with fearing can be comparable in severity to the experience of itself.

Individuals experiencing often report symptoms such as persistent , , and an inability to control their concerns, which are indicative of heightened anxiety.

resulting from job is also linked to emotional disturbances, reduced organizational , and an increased intention to .

Job insecurity affects and can lead to social , as individuals may withdraw from social interactions due to feelings of or about their employment situation.

These effects are further compounded by poor sleep, irritability, and physical symptoms like headaches and muscle tension.

The mental health impact of insecurity is not to be taken lightly.

If you or someone you know is experiencing distress from their life, perhaps speaking with a can help relieve some stress or help guide you to make plans for a better future.

The Holistic Counseling Center offers Individual, Couples & Family Counseling in , .

565 Route 25A (LR4)
, 11764

631) 248-1727

https://hcc-li.com/

10/17/2025

We Are Compassionate Inquiry Trained!

💛 Healing happens with compassion, respect & acceptance.💛

The Compassionate Inquiry® approach brings safety to the of self – the present & the past. It supports you in developing an relationship with yourself.

We recognize that the primary source of is our from the deepest parts of ourselves, often caused by & intergenerational .

What are beneath the surface, waiting for your attention? What wants to be expressed?

With the right , this connection can be restored.

✔️assistance with managing (and even driving into remission) symptoms of conditions

✔️effective support for people experiencing ideation

✔️supports you in developing an authentic relationship with

✔️ unlocks a lifetime of suppression

✔️opens doorways of expression, creativity, joy & freedom

Compassionate Inquiry® can help you to recognize that your , , , , , and patterns came along at a certain point in your life as mechanisms that helped you to .

Once you understand this, you may realize that these are not who you are.

Who you are is your being, your essence, which is pristine, peaceful, , and whole. It can never be damaged or broken.

Through the skilled and use of , the Certified Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner holds a mirror to your experience, allowing you to see yourself clearly, perhaps for the first time.

The intention is to inquire into each situation and your response to it, so that you can understand the underlying dynamics and their origin.

Asking the right question at the right time can unlock a lifetime of and open doorways of , , and .

We would love to you on this journey, to witness your unfolding and to experience what is possible. When each of us does this, the whole world benefits.

https://hcc-li.com/services/compassionate-inquiry/

(Led by Dr. Gabor Maté & Sat Dharam Kaur ND)

09/29/2025

A stale conversation in is a common experience, often stemming from routine, lack of meaningful , and emotional , which can lead to feelings of and .

It's normal for to evolve over time, especially during life stages like raising children or approaching , where may fall into autopilot patterns focused on tasks rather than .

To address this, the most important step is acknowledging the issue and initiating honest, open conversations with your . Approach the with , using "I" statements to express your feelings without , such as "I feel like our relationship has become routine and lacks the excitement it once had". This helps prevent reactions and fosters a safe space for .

Improving requires intentional effort. Start by making time for daily check-ins, even brief ones, to share , , and .

To break the , introduce activities or your environment—trying a new restaurant, taking a walk, or exploring a new hobby together can provide fresh topics and shared interests.

Avoiding distractions like phones and TVs during conversations is crucial for genuine connection and .

Reconnecting also involves revisiting the basics: ask open-ended questions about your partner’s life, , and feelings, similar to how you might at the beginning of a relationship. This helps overcome the that you know everything about each other.

Simple acts of , like holding hands and making eye contact, can also strengthen .

Finally, consider using structured tools like couple’s conversation games or to guide deeper discussions and uncover underlying issues.

If progress is slow, seeking help from a counselor can be beneficial.

The key is to be proactive, patient, and committed to rebuilding the connection, as consistent effort can reignite the spark and transform stale conversations into meaningful dialogue.

09/24/2025

Are you texting your partner too much?

Over-texting in can significantly damage the connection between partners by fostering and emotional , as constantly messaging and anxiously awaiting replies can signal and over-attachment, reflecting an unhealthy attachment style rooted in insecurity.

This can lead to one becoming emotionally reliant on love-struck messages, creating an imbalance where the need for constant digital overrides personal freedom and space.

The absence of tone, facial expressions, and body language in makes it easy to misinterpret intentions, turning innocuous messages into sources of ; for instance, a simple "I don't know what you mean" can be read as sarcastic or dismissive, even if it was meant as a genuine question. This lack of context often leads to that escalate quickly, especially when partners are unable to clarify their meaning in real time.

The delay in responses can also breed , as one partner may feel or when the other takes hours to reply, leading to a cycle of calculated delays and emotional withdrawal.

Furthermore, the time available to craft a response in allows individuals to present their "best version" through carefully worded messages and strategic use of emojis, which can create an unrealistic portrayal of affection or interest that doesn't reflect genuine feelings. This curated can make the relationship feel artificial, as the dynamic is based on polished texts rather than authentic, spontaneous .

Over-reliance on texting also hinders the development of essential communication skills, particularly the ability to handle difficult face-to-face, which is crucial for and emotional repair in relationships.

Without the opportunity to hear tone, see expressions, and respond in the moment, misunderstandings go uncorrected, and grows.

Ultimately, while texting may increase the frequency of contact, it often diminishes the quality of communication, leading to and a weakening of the relationship's foundation.

09/15/2025

Personal space in a relationship is crucial for fostering a healthy, balanced, and fulfilling partnership.

It allows to maintain their , nurture their sense of self, and engage in personal growth, which ultimately strengthens the relationship by promoting trust, respect, and emotional well-being.

Respecting personal reduces the risk of , , and , while also enhancing communication and intimacy through the quality of time spent together rather than the quantity.

✅ Promotes Individuality & Autonomy: Personal space enables to pursue their own hobbies, interests, and goals without relying solely on the relationship for , which helps preserve a sense of identity and self-worth.

✅ Enhances Emotional Well-being & Reduces Stress: Having time alone allows for emotional processing, , and mental rejuvenation, which helps individuals manage stress and prevents emotional .

✅ Strengthens Communication & Trust: When personal space is respected, it fosters mutual and , creating a foundation for healthier interactions and more constructive conflict resolution.

✅ Prevents Codependency & Conflict: A lack of personal space can lead to an unhealthy dynamic where one partner becomes overly dependent, increasing the likelihood of resentment and conflict; acts as a buffer against these issues.

✅ Keeps the Relationship Fresh & Exciting: Allowing time apart helps prevent boredom and complacency, as partners return to the with new experiences and perspectives, reigniting and connection.

✅ Supports Relationship Longevity: Research indicates that who balance with independence report higher relationship satisfaction, , and overall .

08/14/2025

💙 The Theory Behind Imago Relationship Therapy 💙

Because emotional & psychological experiences with our parents/caretakers were so impactful as kids, we unconsciously seek people in our adult life who are similar to the same interactions we experienced as a child. We associate both the negative & positive interactions we had with our caretakers as things we need in our adult relationships. Then, we look to fulfill the qualities that we either did/didn’t receive during childhood.

Contact us for more information today.

Individual, Couples & Family Therapists in Suffolk County

565 Route 25A, Miller Place, New York 11764

(631) 248-1727

https://hcc-li.com/services/imago-relationship-therapy/

** Please note that we do not accept insurance. However, we can provide you with statements for OON benefits.

08/06/2025

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ( ) is a condition that can develop from prolonged exposure to events, often occurring in situations where escape is difficult or impossible, such as childhood or .

It shares some symptoms with but also includes additional challenges in , self-perception, and interpersonal .

Key differences & symptoms of CPTSD:

Prolonged Trauma: CPTSD typically arises from ongoing, repetitive traumatic experiences, unlike PTSD which can stem from a single traumatic event.

Emotional Dysregulation: Individuals with CPTSD may struggle to manage , experiencing swings between feeling numb and having difficulty calming down.

Negative Self-Concept: CPTSD can lead to persistent feelings of , , , and a belief that one is fundamentally flawed or different from others.

Relationship Difficulties: Individuals may have trouble forming and maintaining , potentially due to , difficulty with intimacy, or a tendency to avoid close connections.

Other symptoms: These can include , difficulty concentrating, physical symptoms like headaches or fatigue, and .

Examples of Traumatic Events That Cause Complex PTSD:

⚫Ongoing physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
⚫Chronic neglect in childhood
⚫Being a victim of, or witnessing domestic violence
⚫Torture, trafficking, or slavery
⚫Experiences in war or combat
⚫Long-term captivity or kidnapping situations
⚫Ongoing discrimination or systemic violence

CPTSD is a complex condition that can significantly impact a person’s emotional, , and relational well-being. Understanding its unique features and seeking appropriate treatment are crucial for and .

For more information on individual on , contact us.

https://hcc-li.com/what-is-cptsd/

07/19/2025

🫂Counseling for Loss of Intimacy in Marriage🫂

in marriage can significantly impact a couple’s relationship, leading to dissatisfaction and even separation, if not addressed.

Therapy, particularly , can be instrumental in identifying the root causes of and providing strategies for rebuilding emotional & physical connection.

Working with a who’s a professional in can help you strengthen your connection and find solutions to conflicts.

We offer a safe place where couples in a more effective way. (Even happy couples benefit from receiving support / advice from a who understands relationships). This will allow you & your partner to have more rewarding, satisfying lives together.

Common Reasons for Loss of Intimacy in :

: Lack of open and honest communication about feelings, needs, and desires is a major contributor to intimacy problems.

or : When one or both partners feel their needs are not acknowledged or valued, it can negatively impact intimacy.

and : Unresolved conflicts and resentment can build up and create emotional distance, hindering intimacy.

: Trust is the foundation of intimacy, and its erosion can lead to a decline in both emotional and physical closeness.

and : Life events like job changes, parenthood, or grief can create strain on the relationship and affect intimacy.

If you're struggling to on your own, seek the guidance of a .

By addressing the underlying issues, improving communication, and actively working on rebuilding emotional &physical connection, couples can reignite intimacy & strengthen their relationship.

https://hcc-li.com/counseling-loss-of-intimacy-marriage/

*Please note that we do not accept insurance. However, we can provide you with statements for OON benefits.

07/14/2025

https://hcc-li.com/contact/

The Holistic Counseling Center of Long Island, New York - Contact Us - 565 Route 25A, Suite LR4, Miller Place, NY 11764 & also in Huntington