03/11/2026
I keep thinking “You bitch!” every time you pop into my mind? I can almost hear you giggling at me every time too.
But seriously… how dare you?
Ah, but I can’t blame you though. I know you were so tired. I know how alone you felt, even though your sister and parents were by your side and you knew that I was always a phone call away. I told you no matter the time — call or text.
I can’t let go of the same feeling that I wasn’t available for you that last time you tried me at 3am. I know how afraid you were. I’m glad we talked the next morning. I’m sad it was the last time we talked.
You bitch. (I feel you laughing and crying with me again as I think it ❤️🩹)
I forgive you.
The craziest thing was seeing your phone FaceTiming me Sunday a week after your passing — your name across my phone screen — and then seeing your baby girl’s bright face on the other side, such a complete mirror of my own baby girl.
Who knew that a 30-minute catch-up with her, talking about the signs you’ve been leaving her and looking at her dance competition photos, would be such a healing balm for the pain and anger I felt learning you’d really left this plane so early.
You knew it would.
And I promise you this: going forward I will be a bonus auntie for your babies, celebrating them, celebrating you, and all you achieved during your stay here in this lifetime.
Thank you for all the belly laughs.
For being such a beautiful, raw, vulnerable, honest human.
For sharing so much of yourself and your dreams.
For chasing your dreams.
For encouraging me in mine.
For sharing my love of Beyoncé.
For singing Broadway tunes out loud shamelessly.
For sharing your light.
I miss you.
I love you.
And I’ll see you again someday.
(Everyone reading this please join me in sending love and prayers for peace toward Tairen’s family and her sweet babies. And if you want to attend her memorial service details are here: https://www.wrightmortuary.com/obituaries/tairen-mccollister)