https://www.personalhealthnow.org/

Community Education-MPC, 2801 Coffee Road, Suite A5, Modesto, CA (2026)

06/15/2024

Learning how to say “no” in a healthy way will benefit your child/teen for their whole life. There is an art to deciding what to say no to and takes lot of practice to truly figure out some of the best boundaries for you. The areas of boundaries to establish that we have talked through in this series are dating, romantic, physical, emotional, social media, and spiritual. All of these working together will help an individual, no matter their age, become a well-rounded, healthy person who is able to live into the best that God has created for them and how he has created them.

06/11/2024

We have talked a lot so far about universal boundaries, but as Christians, we need to talk about and think on spiritual boundaries. We live in a world that is not only physical, but spiritual as well. We need to work on equipping our teens and students with healthy practices for our souls that will help firmly root them in their faith and make it their own. Spiritual boundaries are different than all of the others we have talked about because they involve Holy Spirit guidance. There are still universal spiritual boundaries, but there will be some that are different per believer, depending on their convictions and leading by the Spirit.

04/27/2024

Social media is different than screentime. Screentime in general does have an impact on teenagers and developing brains, but social media is a whole different thing. With every hour of use, depression rates increase (Department of Psychology). There are significant findings that social media negatively affects girls and their body image (comparison and conforming). Algorithms are used to keep their users coming back for more and although adults may be better at controlling their need to scroll, teens brain development is not fully developed in self-control and regulation which leads to addiction being more likely. It is good to keep in mind that it is against the rules for someone under the age of 12 to be using social media.
Look at our post on social media boundaries to help set guidelines to counteract potential addiction and harm. Make sure as parents that you have access to all passwords, can check and read messages and browsing history, as well as approve the use of apps, games, or shows before your child can use them. Following these as well as thinking through what we’ve posted will help you navigate and have a conversation with your child and teen about the potential harms of social media and smart devices when there are no boundaries in place. When it comes to online safety, it is bets to err on the side of caution as there is an ever-developing new world online with little to no regulation of its own. It is, though, all about moderation, and not elimination as we will never be in an age where technology isn't a part of everyday life.

For more information on common trends and habits of young people, check out “iGen” by Jean M. Twenge PhD
Source: The Effects of Social Media on Teens and Young Adults – Department of Psychology (sdsu.edu)

04/23/2024

Encourage your teens to set limits on Screen Time on iPhone and Digital Wellbeing and Parental Controls on Android. Remember that social media was supposed to connect us to others, so prioritize social engagement over advertising and meaningless content. Boundaries will also help safeguard from potential dangers or encounters with negative situations such as bullying or human trafficking. We put together some places to start to help understanding what boundaries for social media look like but be sure that your tween/teen is onboard and involved in the process. Remember that having them involved is a key point to them developing healthy boundaries on their own. One of your goals as a parent or guardian is to protect and guide your children, so if a boundary involves safety, do it! Even if everyone is not on the same page.

03/30/2024

There is a reality that teenagers do experience harm from social media, friendships, and relationships in the world we live in. When it comes to social media, over 59% of teenagers have experienced some type of bullying (Pew). It is important to understand the issues and potential harms that our youth can experience so we understand what they need to be able to help them. Even if it may be a minor incident, be sure to stay on top of negative interactions and help your child/teen process through those situations. You can also think about avenues mentioned in our post to help you child, teen, or student get the help they need.

Check out this article online:
A Majority of Teens Have Experienced Some Form of Cyberbullying | Pew Research Center

03/28/2024

Emotional boundaries have to do with protecting our emotions and our heart as we interact with others and the world. This type of boundary helps us to stay healthy and process through feelings without them getting out of control or without us getting taken advantage of. With all of the boundaries we talk about, being an example is so important for children and teens to see. When it comes to needs being met (especially emotional needs and physical touch), if they are not receiving it in a safe and loving environment, they will seek it elsewhere and have a hard time developing healthy boundaries. Help your child learn how navigate this by working through some important aspects of emotional boundaries in our post and by modeling a healthy environment at home.

03/09/2024

Last week, when we were talking about physical boundaries, body rights are an important part of personal health. Every single person you see has an inherent gift called body rights. These are rights that go with you your whole life and there are consequences (legally) when others violate these rights. We should be reminding and repeating these rights to our children and the kids around us to help them understand physical boundaries and when they always have the right to say no. Body rights help bring awareness to appropriate behavior in relationships of all kids and helps children be able to identify for themselves when things are off. Let’s help them feel empowered to stay safe in relationships!

03/06/2024

We talked previously about physical boundaries when it comes to romantic and s*xual activity, but there are also physical boundaries that everyone should have regardless if they are in a dating relationship or not. These boundaries protect our bodies from overcommitting and choosing options that can have serious consequences on our health. Remind the teens in your life that we are more than just our bodies, but our body needs to be cared for and have limits, the same as other aspects of life, so we can reach our best potential. We may at times feel that we are emotionally or mentally able and willing to do something, but physically, we need to say no because that is the best for us. Help the teens in your life learn what that balance looks like between saying yes and no to physical opportunities will help them lead a healthy, joy-filled life.

Share a story about how you have experienced physical boundaries and how that has been beneficial for you!

02/24/2024

Last week we talked about boundaries, and this week we are talking about the biology behind boundaries!
Oxytocin, dopamine, and vasopressin are all neurochemicals that the hypothalamus in the brain produces. These are crucial to human function, but they are also crucial in how we engage in relationships. These are often called “love hormones” because when we are in a loving relationship, they are released. This includes physical activities, but also actions and opportunities to protect, provide, and care for. Bonding is the process that takes place when we release these chemicals with another person. We are literally, chemically, physiologically bonding ourselves to them.

Helping our teens understand the amazing way God has designed our bodies for one life-long partner can empower them to make good choices when responding in loving relationships. This is a great warning, but even more so, it is freeing knowing that it really is the best way to live and having confidence in that.

*Last slide is all information in one to share!

For more detail on emotional and physical bounding during meaningful and s*xual activity, and why God’s design for waiting is the best, we highly recommend reading through “Hooked: New Science on How Casual S*x is Affecting Our Children” by Dr McIlhaney & Dr Bush.

02/17/2024

The boundaries line in the picture is the natural & normal progression of a healthy relationship. Yes, it does include s*x! But it needs to take place in the right order and in the right timing. Each boundary step is not something to have a goal of completing in a week, but each step should be taken carefully and with much consideration. Share this with your teen to encourage them of what healthy physical steps look like, but also encourage the idea of waiting, and for Christians waiting until marriage, for the more intimate physical activities. The truth is that every time someone engages in s*x, there is a potential for pregnancy, S*xually Transmitted Infections (STI), and emotional and physical bonding. You can still be in a healthy, loving relationship even if you are not engaging in steps farther down the line! A majority of the time spent in a marriage relationship is on talking and doing activities together, a very small amount is engaging in physical activity. Encourage your teens to learn how to focus on what really matters in relationships!

02/10/2024

Boundaries in dating are so important to help guide and regulate actions, especially when it comes to romantic feelings. Here are a few aspects that you and your teen can talk through to help them form dating boundaries of their own. Remember, it is important to not just tell a teen about the boundaries you have for them, but for them to also make their own, and make it personal.

Freedom: “make commitments because they feel it’s the right thing to do, and they are wholehearted about it.” (Cloud & Townsend)

Responsibility: “your ability to execute your task in keeping the relationship healthy and loving, as well as being able to say no to things you shouldn’t be responsible for.” (Cloud & Townsend)

Inspired from the book- Boundaries In Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

01/20/2024

Children benefit from structure and learning lessons earlier on in life when the cost is low for making poor choices. As parents, or anyone who has influence in a young person’s life, you have to ability to demonstrate and create that structure through boundaries. We live in a world of boundaries and of good and bad consequences that our youth will eventually find out about. Help your children and teens develop boundaries for themselves so they can succeed when they become adults (which will be sooner than you think!).
It is never too late to help your child learn how to cultivate boundaries in their life. Every moment you have with your child matters, and you can use every opportunity until they are out of your home. Remember there is grace for both parents and children and our God will generously give us wisdom when we ask for it. Here are 7 tips on getting started on boundaries.

Inspired from the book-
"Boundaries with Kids" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

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