Cami Lerminez, LLC.

03/15/2026

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐬

When we mess up, the brain often goes to fear, embarrassment, or self-criticism before it goes to learning.

03/14/2026

⚾ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐃𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫? 🥎

Mental reps are the intentional practice of skill, performance, or response pattern using imagination, visualization, or cognitive rehearsal rather than physical.

In mental performance training, mental reps usually involve vividly simulating:
* Doing the skill correctly step-by-step
* Performing under pressure or game-like conditions
* Responding to mistakes and recovering quickly
* Managing anxiety, doubt, or performance stress
* Reinforcing confidence and success imagery

The idea is based on neuroplasticity - the brain strengthens pathways through repeated activation.

03/13/2026

New on the blog: How Kids Learn to Fear Failure — and what adults can do to change it. Learn why kids start seeing mistakes as threats to belonging and practical ways to respond so effort is valued over perfection.

Read more: https://wix.to/EAuGAVG

Kids are not born afraid of failure. It is learned, usually through experiences that are repeated, teaching a child that mistakes are unsafe, shameful, or that break connection. Here's how that fear develops - often accidently.Love Feels ConditionalWhen children receive more attention, praise, or lo...

03/12/2026

Betrayal trauma happens when the person you trusted the most becomes the source of deep hurt.

It's not "just" about what happened - it's about the shock to your nervous system, your sense of safety and your reality. You may feel anxious, hypervigilant, numb, angry, ashamed, or completely disoriented. I hear a lot "I don't even recognize myself anymore."

That's a trauma response.

When attachment is broken, your mind and body go into survival mode. Healing isn't about "getting over it" - it's about restoring safety, rebuilding trust (first in yourself), and have space to process the pain with support.

If you're walking through this, you're not crazy. You're hurting.

03/11/2026

Cravings are temporary, but recovery skills are cumulative.
Each time you ride out an urge, you strengthen neural and behavioral resilience.

03/10/2026

03/09/2026

Parent Q&As for 9–12-year-old friendships. If you think your child could benefit from a friendship group to learn about healthy vs. tricky friendships, please reach out to me for information about my 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 Group.

Click on the link below to register your child. We'd love to have them!

https://forms.gle/Ab4kYdBwtGqcoULU7

03/08/2026

𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐯𝐬. 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬

In mental performance coaching, there's often tension between two goals:
𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭-𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬: this weekend's game, this season's stats
𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠-𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭: who the athlete becomes over years

Both matter but require very different mindsets.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭-𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬: "𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝐍𝐨𝐰"
This approach prioritizes:
- immediate performance boosts
- quick confidence fixes
- motivational hype
- game-specific mental strategies
- reducing anxiety before a big event

There's nothing wrong with this. If an athlete is preparing for playoffs, a championship, or a showcase, targeted short-term tools can help them perform under pressure.

You might work on: pre-game routines, visualization for specific matchups, breathing strategies, and between-play reset cues. It's tactical and situational.

The risk? If mental skills are only used reactively - when performance dips - athletes can become dependent on "confidence when things go well."

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠-𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬: “𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐭𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞”
Long term development is about constructing a durable psychological foundation.
This includes: emotional regulation, identity separate from sport, resilience through adversity, growth mindset, self-leadership, and sustainable motivation.

Athletes in high-level systems, often credit longevity to these deeper mental skills, not just pre-game routines.

Long-term mental development asks:
- Who are you when you're benched?
- Who are you during a slump?
- Who are you after injury?
- Who are you when the sport ends?

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠-𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬 (𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲)
Short-term confidence is fragile.
Long-term confidence is earned.
When athletes are developed over time:
- slumps don't spiral
- pressure feels manageable
- feedback doesn't crush identity
- wins don't define self-worth
- Losses don't destroy belief

Ironically, when athletes stop chasing short-term validation, performance often improves.

03/07/2026

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 - 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧

Some athletes look naturally confident - but what you're usually seeing is repetition, preparation, and earned trust in their skills.

But confidence isn't a personality trait. It's a byproduct of experience.

Here's how confidence is actually built.

R̲e̲p̲e̲t̲i̲t̲i̲o̲n̲ ̲C̲r̲e̲a̲t̲e̲s̲ ̲E̲v̲i̲d̲e̲n̲c̲e̲
Every rep sends a message to the brain: "𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒."
The brain doesn't build confidence from talent. It builds it from proof.
That's why consistent practice matters more than occasional flashes of brilliance.

S̲u̲r̲v̲i̲v̲i̲n̲g̲ ̲H̲a̲r̲d̲ ̲T̲h̲i̲n̲g̲s̲
Confidence grows faster from adversity than from easy wins.
When athletes: come back from a mistake, recover from injury, push through a slump, or handle tough feedback, they develop resilience-based confidence. The strong kind.

S̲e̲l̲f̲-̲T̲a̲l̲k̲ ̲T̲r̲a̲i̲n̲i̲n̲g̲
Confidence is shaped internally, long before it shows externally.
If the inner voice says:
"𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑢𝑝."
"𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑘𝑒."
"𝐶𝑜𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢."
Performance tightens. Athletes' nervous system settles and performance follows, when athletes learn to shift to:
"𝑁𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦."
"𝑇𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔."
"𝐵𝑒 𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑣𝑒."

P̲r̲e̲p̲a̲r̲a̲t̲i̲o̲n̲ ̲R̲e̲d̲u̲c̲e̲s̲ ̲F̲e̲a̲r̲
Anxiety shrinks when preparation rises. Confidence isn't bravado. It's knowing you've done the work.
When preparation is inconsistent, confidence feels fragile.
When preparation is solid, confidence feels steady.

I̲d̲e̲n̲t̲i̲t̲y̲ ̲B̲e̲y̲o̲n̲d̲ ̲P̲e̲r̲f̲o̲r̲m̲a̲n̲c̲e̲
The most stable confidence comes from athletes who understand: "𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑒."
When identity is secure, performance pressure decreases - and performance improves.

S̲m̲a̲l̲l̲ ̲W̲i̲n̲s̲ ̲S̲t̲a̲c̲k̲
Confidence is cumulative; a good rep, a strong practice, a moment of recovery and a tough conversation handled well.
Stack enough of those, and belief becomes internalized.

03/04/2026

Statistics show that that 40-60% of people in recovery experience at least one relapse. Just a reminder: a slip is information. In therapy, we look at what lead to it and then strengthen up our recovery plan.

03/03/2026

Sexual Addiction is a pattern of ongoing, out-of-control s*xual thoughts and behaviors that a person continues despite negative consequences.

It's not simply having a high s*x drive. The key difference is 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦.