12/01/2025
Some of y’all spent Thanksgiving with people who don’t actually want you there — they just tolerate you.
So let me ask you something…
Why did you go?
Was it for validation?
Was it to feel included?
Was it because you didn’t want to be “the problem”?
Be honest with yourself:
Before you even left the house, you already felt uneasy. You already knew what the atmosphere would be. And yet, you still went — and ended up feeling exactly the way you knew you would:
Like an outsider.
Like someone being tolerated.
Like you were present, but not welcomed.
If you know your spouse’s family only tolerates you…
If you know they enable your spouse…
If you know they treat you based on their version of events and have never cared to hear yours…
That says a lot about them — and a lot about your spouse.
But it also says something important about you, too.
You keep going back.
For what?
Christmas is coming. Let this be the year you do something different.
Stop going where you’re only tolerated.
Stop spending your holidays in emotional discomfort.
Stop forcing yourself into environments that don’t value you.
Create your own memories.
Your own traditions.
Your own joy.
Year 1 might feel weird. It might feel lonely or scary or unfamiliar.
But Year 2 will feel lighter.
Year 3 will feel peaceful.
And eventually, you’ll wonder why you ever sacrificed yourself just to be tolerated.
Set the tone now.
Choose environments that choose you back.
Choose the kind of holiday you want — not the one you’re pressured into.
Last, but definitely not least, get in the habit of choosing YOU.
