Deborah New, LCSW

08/13/2025

Wise words from my teabag today

10/25/2024

Just about anyone can benefit from this morning mobility practice from the amazing Adriene. Open those hips before sitting at the desk all day?

Circulate Synovial Fluid with this well rounded 22-minute morning mobility practice - designed for you to tune into your body and enhance your range of motio...

10/06/2024

Highly recommend! Yoga for Overthinking, with the wonderful: Yoga with Adriene:

Meet me on the mat for a yoga practice designed to gently guide you to the present moment and out of rumination. Overthinking - many of us have been here. Th...

07/23/2024

This is a pretty good list of goals for emotional health.

Here are 10 lessons from "The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency" by Melody Beattie:
1. Letting Go of Control: Recognize that trying to control others and external circumstances is futile and often counterproductive. Letting go can lead to inner peace and healthier relationships.
2. Setting Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for personal well-being. It helps to protect your emotional health and prevent codependent behaviors.
3. Self-Care: Prioritizing self-care is essential. Taking time for yourself and attending to your needs can improve your overall well-being and relationships with others.
4. Living in the Present: Focusing on the present moment, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, can reduce anxiety and increase happiness.
5. Acceptance: Accepting people, situations, and yourself as they are, rather than as you wish they were, leads to serenity. Acceptance does not mean approval, but it does mean letting go of resistance.
6. Trusting the Process: Trusting that things will work out as they should, even if it’s not in the way you envisioned, can bring a sense of calm and reduce stress.
7. Recognizing Codependent Patterns: Awareness of codependent behaviors, such as enabling or trying to fix others, is the first step towards changing these patterns and fostering healthier relationships.
8. Practicing Detachment: Learning to emotionally detach from others' problems and behaviors allows you to focus on your own life and well-being without being overwhelmed by others’ issues.
9. Forgiveness: Forgiving yourself and others for past mistakes is crucial for emotional freedom. Holding onto resentment only harms you and prevents healing.
10. Gratitude: Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can shift your focus from what's wrong in your life to what’s right, enhancing your overall outlook and mental health.
These lessons highlight the importance of self-awareness, self-care, and emotional health in overcoming codependency and fostering a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Book:

Concentrating on self-esteem and acceptance, this book offers meditations for men and women recovering from codependency and aids them in their attempt to gain control of their lives

05/24/2023

I think Terry Real is great, and this information, found in his book "Us" is transformative.

Free assessment to get you started

12/14/2022

11/02/2022

“Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.” Hafiz

06/29/2022

Not as wise as this Deborah, but beautiful words to live by.

10 THINGS DAME DEBORAH TAUGHT US

1. We are not here to suffer, regardless of the challenges allocated to us (we each receive our own), we must seek the light, above everything else.

2. The love we create as we go about our way, is a wondrous thing to behold. And that love will regenerate forevermore, growing new love wherever it lands.

3. If you are not happy with the life you live, find the life you want to live. Piece by piece, you can build that from the blueprint in your own mind.

4. Hope is worth more than any material possession or power a human can source. Hope can bring millions of people to one place to achieve greatness, and it very much has.

5. Your body is your home, and you need it to stay here. Care for it, look after it and give it the respect it deserves. Don’t hate on it another day. It does amazing work.

6. You decide how each chapter of your life will unfold. Ultimately, it’s you that fills in the words between each and every plot twist. You can’t change the bones, but you can fill the flesh.

7. Dying is hard when you do not want to leave. But if we must depart, let no stone be left unturned in the quarry of your heart. Say it all.

8. The more you love, the harder the leaving gets. The more you are loved, the bigger the grieving grows. It’s a universal truth that a beautiful life, will leave much grief in its wake.

9. Do not hate the ageing process. Each day you live past your mid-life, is a day to be seized and celebrated. Each wrinkle, another year won. Embrace it. Not everyone can.

10. Finally, check your poo…it may just save your life.

Donna Ashworth

03/10/2022

Excited to be going to the Psychotherapy Networker Annual Symposium in Washington, DC! https://www.psychnetworker.org/2022/?_gl=1%2A91u4ln%2A_ga%2ANzY3MTU5OTU2LjE2NDY4NzY2NDA.%2A_ga_RH9G8909BB%2AMTY0Njg3NjYzOS4xLjEuMTY0Njg3Njc0NC42MA..

2022 Psychotherapy Networker Symposium Conference, March 10–13, 2022. Register before January 31 to get special Early Bird prices!

02/14/2022

Always all days

01/05/2022

Annie is so wise

Humans don’t do things they think won't work. We’re not into wasting our time or energy.

If a partner shares a truth and you get angry, defensive or emotionally charged, this can spook them into never sharing again. We want to train our partner to continue being transparent. Every time they share honestly or vulnerably, we can be grateful, thankful and appreciative. Be curious and inquisitive, asking for more information without any anger, make-wrong or shame. If you can make them feel safe when they do share, they will keep sharing.

Ask yourself “What can I do that would make my partner feel maximally safe and comfortable sharing? Who would I have to be, what would I have to do? How would I have to act?” People only get withdrawn when they feel cut off, shamed, made wrong, pushed back or scared when they offer their truth. No one owes you the truth, it’s a gift they can offer if your listening inspires them.

If you repeatedly find your partner deceiving you or withholding information (assuming they don’t have antisocial personality disorder), then it’s best to look at how you may be training them to lie to you, by making it painful or scary for them to be honest.

You can’t bully someone into being honest, you must enroll them gently and earn their trust by emotionally attuning to their fears. That’s when you’ll become safe enough for them to be real with you.

Do you expect others to be honest with you and get mad when they don’t? Has this been working for you? Or do you consciously make it safe for others, so they are inspired to share their truth with you?