Stevette Heyliger, LPC Licensed Professional Counselor

11/11/2025

Feeling like you’re the one holding everything together?
You plan, fix, manage and somehow still end up feeling unseen.

In relationships, overfunctioning often comes from love and fear: a desire to keep things steady, to prevent conflict, to feel safe.
But when one person carries the whole load, connection quietly fades.

In this short video, I share why doing it all may feel safe but leaves you unseen and one small step you can take this week to start rebalancing.

Watch now and learn how partnership grows when responsibility is shared, not carried alone.

11/11/2025

Join us for our next Caribbean EFT Community Gym: Practicing Empathic Reflection! 🌿

We’ll focus on one of the most powerful micro-skills in Emotionally Focused Therapy—learning to slow down, reflect emotion (not just content), and deepen connection through presence and resonance.

🗓️ Monday, November 24, 2025
🕚 11:00 AM – 12:30 PM (EST)
💻 Online via Zoom
💰 Cost: $20

Register here: https://Inkd.in/
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11/05/2025

Many couples I work with desire closeness but feel emotionally disconnected without understanding why.

In this article, Dr. Jonice Webb shares 10 telltale signs of emotional numbness and how it often stems from childhood emotional neglect. It’s a powerful reminder that when emotions were ignored or minimized growing up, we can lose access to our feelings as adults, especially in relationships.

The good news? Emotions aren’t lost forever. They can return with safety, awareness, and connection.

If you’ve ever felt “fine” but strangely empty, this article is worth a read.
Click on the link in the comments for the full article.
To learn more about my couples therapy work, click the link below.
https://www.marriagecounselingnewjersey.com/

When life feels flat or colorless, it may be a sign that your emotions are shut down. Learn how emotional numbness develops and what you can do to reconnect with your true feelings.

10/30/2025

Feeling like you’re holding everything together in your marriage but still feeling invisible? In my couples therapy practice in Montclair, NJ, I help partners shift from doing it all to sharing it all so connection can grow instead of fading. Dive into my latest blog: Link below in comments.

Overfunctioning in relationships may feel like you’re holding everything together, but doing it alone can leave you isolated. Learn the signs and take one meaningful step toward shared partnership. | Marriage Counseling NJ | Stevette Heyliger LPC

10/09/2025

I’m excited to share that I’ve completed Phase One Brainspotting Training! 🧠✨

Brainspotting is a powerful, brain-body therapy that helps people process and release trauma, anxiety, and emotional pain that often lives beneath the surface. It’s incredible to witness how the brain and body can find their own path toward healing and calm when given the right support.

I had the privilege of completing this training within a diverse and deeply supportive learning community — an experience that reminded me how universal our need for healing truly is. 💛

10/07/2025

Excited to share this upcoming Caribbean EFT Community Gym—a space for therapists to grow in one of the most transformative skills in EFT: staying present with emotion as it unfolds.
Every time we slow down and tune in, we create the conditions for healing. 💙

10/07/2025

When love feels uncertain, anxiety gets loud.
It’s not the end of connection—it’s the beginning of understanding. 💛
Learn how to calm your body and reconnect in my latest blog:
Click on the link in the comments below.

Learn how relationship anxiety impacts love and how to calm your body, restore safety, and reconnect with your partner through awareness and empathy.

09/26/2025

This past weekend, I did something I never thought I would — I completed a 14-mile half marathon walk. 🚶🏾‍♀️✨

What made it possible? The women I walked with. Their encouragement, their stories, and their energy reminded me that we can go farther together than we ever could alone. One woman shared that she ran her first marathon at 60 — proof that aging doesn’t have to mean slowing down. It can mean chasing dreams we never thought possible.

That message hit home for me. As a therapist, I often see how emotional blocks keep people feeling stuck in their relationships. Thoughts like, “This is just who I am” or “We can’t change this dynamic” can feel so real. But with support, patience, and steady steps, growth is possible.

This walk not only built my confidence, but it also deepened my belief in the resilience I see in my clients every day. Sometimes the hardest blocks to move past are the ones we’ve placed on ourselves.



Sharing a picture of my walking crew and me at the 14-mile mark — tired, but smiling!

09/26/2025

So often, what looks like ignoring or punishing a partner is actually the body’s way of protecting itself. Shutting down isn’t about not caring, it’s the nervous system saying, “This is too much for me right now.”Learning to see this pattern differently is the first step toward reconnecting.

09/23/2025

“Why do I shut down when we argue?” It’s a question I hear often in couples therapy. Stonewalling in marriage may look like indifference, but it’s usually protection—not rejection. In my latest blog, I explore the hidden fears behind shutting down and how couples can move from silence to connection.

👉 Read more: Link in comments

Hashtags:

Do you shut down in arguments? Learn why stonewalling in marriage happens, how it protects rather than rejects, and how couples counseling in NJ can help you reconnect.

09/09/2025

Starting couples therapy can feel overwhelming. Many partners wonder: Should we commit to weekly sessions, or would a couples therapy intensive be a better fit?

Both approaches offer powerful ways to reconnect and heal, but they work a little differently. Weekly marriage counseling in NJ helps you grow steadily over time, while an EFT couples therapy intensive is a premium, accelerated experience designed for couples who want to dive deeper, faster.

In this post, I share what you can expect from each option and how to decide which path may be right for your relationship.

👉 Read the full article here (link in comments).

Discover the difference between weekly marriage counseling in NJ and EFT couples therapy intensives. Find out which option is right for your relationship.

08/13/2025

💬 Thinking about couples counseling but not sure how to bring it up with your partner? You’re not alone—many couples struggle to start that conversation.
In my latest blog, I share practical ways to talk about therapy in a way that invites openness, reduces defensiveness, and focuses on strengthening your connection. Whether you start together or on your own, there’s a path forward.
Link to blog in comments.

Learn how to talk to your partner about couples counseling in a way that fosters openness, not defensiveness. Practical tips from an experienced couples therapy Montclair NJ counselor. - Stevette Heyliger LPC