Stevette Heyliger, LPC Licensed Professional Counselor

02/10/2026

This Black History Month, I’m reflecting on how strength, emotional survival, and vulnerability shape our relationships especially within the Black experience. If you’ve learned to be strong and find closeness difficult at times, this reflection may resonate.
Link below in the comments.

A Black History Month reflection on strength, emotional survival, and vulnerability—and how these patterns shape relationships and connection.

01/19/2026

Many couples make it through the holidays by staying busy.
January slows things down — and suddenly the distance feels louder.
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.

01/07/2026

January has a way of turning down the noise — and making relationship patterns harder to ignore.

Many couples spend the holidays “getting through,” only to realize in January how disconnected, exhausted, or stuck they feel. That awareness can be uncomfortable, but it’s also meaningful.

I shared some reflections on why January often brings clarity to relationships and how couples therapy intensives and marriage intensive retreats can offer space for deeper repair and reconnection.
Link to blog in comments.

January can make relationship patterns harder to ignore. Discover why this happens and how focused couples therapy in Montclair NJ can help.

12/19/2025

Many struggles we see in individuals and couples aren’t flaws, they’re adaptations to past experiences. Understanding that changes everything.

Trauma weaves into how we see ourselves.
Negative beliefs about worth, safety, or trust act like threads holding those memories in place.
Every time we notice a belief like “I’m not safe” or “I don’t matter,” we’re seeing the thread that keeps our trauma alive.
Gently acknowledging it, instead of letting it run unchecked, is how we start to unravel its grip.

12/18/2025

As we enter the holiday season, I’m reminded that meaningful change often begins with slowing down and reconnecting with ourselves and with those who matter most. Wishing you a restful holiday and a new year grounded in intention, compassion, and connection.
— Stevette Heyliger, LPC

11/11/2025

Feeling like you’re the one holding everything together?
You plan, fix, manage and somehow still end up feeling unseen.

In relationships, overfunctioning often comes from love and fear: a desire to keep things steady, to prevent conflict, to feel safe.
But when one person carries the whole load, connection quietly fades.

In this short video, I share why doing it all may feel safe but leaves you unseen and one small step you can take this week to start rebalancing.

Watch now and learn how partnership grows when responsibility is shared, not carried alone.

11/11/2025

Join us for our next Caribbean EFT Community Gym: Practicing Empathic Reflection! 🌿

We’ll focus on one of the most powerful micro-skills in Emotionally Focused Therapy—learning to slow down, reflect emotion (not just content), and deepen connection through presence and resonance.

🗓️ Monday, November 24, 2025
🕚 11:00 AM – 12:30 PM (EST)
💻 Online via Zoom
💰 Cost: $20

Register here: https://Inkd.in/
egu7Dea6

11/05/2025

Many couples I work with desire closeness but feel emotionally disconnected without understanding why.

In this article, Dr. Jonice Webb shares 10 telltale signs of emotional numbness and how it often stems from childhood emotional neglect. It’s a powerful reminder that when emotions were ignored or minimized growing up, we can lose access to our feelings as adults, especially in relationships.

The good news? Emotions aren’t lost forever. They can return with safety, awareness, and connection.

If you’ve ever felt “fine” but strangely empty, this article is worth a read.
Click on the link in the comments for the full article.
To learn more about my couples therapy work, click the link below.
https://www.marriagecounselingnewjersey.com/

When life feels flat or colorless, it may be a sign that your emotions are shut down. Learn how emotional numbness develops and what you can do to reconnect with your true feelings.

10/30/2025

Feeling like you’re holding everything together in your marriage but still feeling invisible? In my couples therapy practice in Montclair, NJ, I help partners shift from doing it all to sharing it all so connection can grow instead of fading. Dive into my latest blog: Link below in comments.

Overfunctioning in relationships may feel like you’re holding everything together, but doing it alone can leave you isolated. Learn the signs and take one meaningful step toward shared partnership. | Marriage Counseling NJ | Stevette Heyliger LPC

10/09/2025

I’m excited to share that I’ve completed Phase One Brainspotting Training! 🧠✨

Brainspotting is a powerful, brain-body therapy that helps people process and release trauma, anxiety, and emotional pain that often lives beneath the surface. It’s incredible to witness how the brain and body can find their own path toward healing and calm when given the right support.

I had the privilege of completing this training within a diverse and deeply supportive learning community — an experience that reminded me how universal our need for healing truly is. 💛

10/07/2025

Excited to share this upcoming Caribbean EFT Community Gym—a space for therapists to grow in one of the most transformative skills in EFT: staying present with emotion as it unfolds.
Every time we slow down and tune in, we create the conditions for healing. 💙

10/07/2025

When love feels uncertain, anxiety gets loud.
It’s not the end of connection—it’s the beginning of understanding. 💛
Learn how to calm your body and reconnect in my latest blog:
Click on the link in the comments below.

Learn how relationship anxiety impacts love and how to calm your body, restore safety, and reconnect with your partner through awareness and empathy.