Dr. Aster-McKenna is a licensed psychologist specializing in providing cognitive behavioral therapie
11/20/2025
If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying parts of your su***de-loss grief that no one else can see… you’re not alone. 🕊️
There’s the grief you show the world —
and then there’s the grief you hold in the quiet places:
• the replayed moments
• the unfinished conversations
• the guilt you were never meant to carry
• the “what if I had known?”
• the fear that healing means forgetting
• the love that never found closure
These layers are common for survivors of su***de loss, and they can feel overwhelming, confusing, or deeply isolating.
None of it means you’re grieving “wrong.”
It means you’re grieving something traumatic.
As a psychologist — and as someone who has lived this loss myself — I understand the invisible weight of su***de grief.
Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing the personal experience that shaped my life, my values, and my work.
My hope is that it helps you feel less alone.
If this resonates, save this post for the moments when the feelings surface.
You deserve compassion, support, and space to heal.
***deLossDay ***deLossSurvivor ***de ***deLossSupport
11/19/2025
If grief after su***de feels heavier than anything you’ve ever carried… there’s a reason. 🕊️
Su***de-loss grief hits differently. It often feels like:
• replaying moments you wish you could change
• searching for signs you think you “should have” seen
• shock that rattles your body
• guilt that wasn’t yours to carry
• anger you don’t know where to put
• shame because no one talks about this loss
• isolation because few people understand this kind of grief
These reactions don’t mean you’re grieving “wrong.”
They mean you’re grieving something traumatic and life-altering.
I understand this grief personally — and it shapes the way I show up as a psychologist today.
If this resonates, save this post. You aren’t alone in this grief, and you are not broken for feeling the way you do.
This is Part 2 of this week’s series.
There’s a reason this day is personal for me… stay tuned.
***de ***deLossSurvivor
11/18/2025
Grieving a su***de loss? You’re not alone — and your grief is valid. 🕊️
This Saturday is International Survivors of Su***de Loss Day 2025, a day honoring those living with the complex, layered grief that follows losing someone to su***de.
In 2023, 49,316 Americans died by su***de. Behind each loss are circles of survivors carrying guilt, anger, questions, and love — including many right here in Montclair and Essex County, NJ.
What many people don’t realize is that su***de-loss grief is different. It’s often complicated, stigmatized, and deeply isolating. There is no “right” way to grieve — only your way.
This week, I’ll be sharing supportive posts about:
• how to cope with grief after su***de
• what makes su***de-loss grief unique
• navigating triggers during the holidays
• how to support someone grieving a su***de loss
Save this post if it resonates, and reach out if you’re seeking connection or support.
***deLoss ***de ***deLossSupport ***deLoss
11/11/2025
National Survivors Day — Honoring Love, Loss & Connection.
On Saturday, November 22, we recognize National Su***de Loss Survivors Day — a day to honor those who’ve lost someone to su***de and to hold space for remembrance, compassion, and healing.
For many, this day carries both grief and love. For others, it’s a moment to stand beside those who are grieving and remind them: you are not alone. 💛
This day holds deep meaning for me.
Stay with me this month as I share pieces of my own healing journey after losing someone to su***de — and how that experience continues to shape my work and my heart. 🕊️
If this resonates, save or share it with someone who may need a reminder that love continues — even in loss.
11/10/2025
How to Beat the Winter Blues (for Working Moms in NJ)
Feeling more tired or moody lately? The darker, shorter days after Daylight Savings can take a real toll — especially for working moms balancing everything at once. 💛
Here’s how to ease seasonal mood changes and feel more like yourself again:
☀️ Get morning sunlight — even 10 minutes helps reset your rhythm
😴 Keep a steady sleep schedule
🥣 Cook warm, one-pot meals
💛 Speak to yourself with compassion (rooted in ACT & CFT therapy)
🌤️ Create a family “light ritual” — lamps, candles, or short walks together
You’re not alone in this. The winter months can be gentle when you give yourself permission to slow down, rest, and reconnect. 🌙
💛 Save this reel for a gentle reminder when the darker days feel heavy — and share it with another working mom who might need a little light today. 🌙
11/07/2025
When Grief Feels Too Heavy to Hold 🕯️
Each November, we honor National Su***de Loss Survivors Day — a day of remembrance and solidarity for those navigating life after loss.
Grief after su***de is layered — sorrow and anger, love and guilt, hope and exhaustion. It’s not something to “get over.” It’s something to be witnessed — with gentleness, community, and compassion.
This month’s newsletter explores what complex grief looks like, how the body carries it, and ways to support yourself and others through it.
💛 Read it now on the blog → [link in comments]
If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. You can call or text 988 for the Su***de & Crisis Lifeline — free and available 24/7.
***deLossSurvivorsDay
11/05/2025
✨ Help Us Create a Community of Care in Essex County, NJ ✨
This holiday season, The Montclair Therapist is building a free community resource manual highlighting local nonprofits collecting food for families in need — right here in Essex County.
💛 We need your help.
Comment below ⬇️ or tag your favorite local nonprofit or food drive so we can include them in this guide.
Your input will help families find the support they need, when they need it most — through compassionate, community-based action.
Grounded in ACT principles of connection, compassion, and contribution, this initiative is about showing up for one another in meaningful ways.
💬 Comment or tag your favorite Essex County nonprofit
📩 The finished PDF will be emailed to our mailing list + posted on our blog next week
📌 Save & share this post to help spread the word
Together, we can nurture a community where no one is left behind. 🌿
11/04/2025
Do you ever feel like everyone else has a group chat you’re not in?
Between the rush of work, parenting, and the holiday season, it’s easy to believe connection means doing more. But what if peace comes from less — from the few who really see you?
I used to fill my calendar and still feel empty. Then I realized, one honest friend can quiet a hundred surface-level conversations.
This season, if you’ve been wondering how to find peace or how to handle holiday loneliness — pause. Text that friend who feels like home. That’s the real gift. 💛
Save this for a day when you need to be reminded: you don’t need more people — just more presence.
10/30/2025
Ever wonder why relationships feel harder than they should?
Sometimes, love isn’t the problem — unhealed trauma is.
It can quietly shape how we connect, trust, and communicate.
Unhealed trauma in relationships can look like:
💔 Over-apologizing to avoid conflict
💬 Reading between the lines and assuming the worst
🧍♀️ Pulling away when things get too close
❤️🔥 Trying to fix, rescue, or earn love
You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re carrying wounds that still want safety.
Healing means learning to love without fear.
💾 Save this for the moments you start doubting your worth.
💬 DM me if you’re ready to build healthier, trauma-informed relationships rooted in trust and calm.
10/28/2025
Do you ever feel like a bad mom for needing a break — or missing who you were before kids?
You’re not alone. Moms everywhere wrestle with these feelings — that quiet mom guilt that whispers you’re not doing enough, even when you’re giving everything you have.
Here in New Jersey and the NYC Metro area, I hear this often from working moms trying to balance career, family, and self. But no matter where you live, this struggle is universal.
That guilt isn’t proof you’re failing — it’s proof you care deeply.
And through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we can learn to make space for guilt instead of fighting it — to pause, breathe, and choose what really matters: your values, your peace, your presence.
Whether you’re in Montclair, Manhattan, or miles away, know that The Montclair Therapist is here to support working moms finding calm in the chaos.
💛 You are not a bad mom for needing balance. You’re a human one.
✨ Save this as a reminder or share it with a mom who needs to hear this today.
Learn more at themontclairtherapist.com.
10/24/2025
Two months into the school year, many parents are running on guilt, caffeine, and calendars 📚☕️
If that sounds like you, pause here.
Your kids don’t need perfection — they need presence.
Try one of these five gentle resets when the pressure peaks:
🌿 Gratitude pause
💛 Self-compassion phrase
🧘♀️ Slow breath
🪞 Values check-in
🌙 Rest trade
Because calm, connected parenting starts with how you care for yourself.
✨ Save this for your next busy night
🧠 More ACT-based mental-health tools → themontclairtherapist.com
Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Dr. Amanda Aster-McKenna, Psy.D posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.
Contact The Practice
Send a message to Dr. Amanda Aster-McKenna, Psy.D:
Dr. Aster is a licensed clinical psychologist in both New Jersey and New York, with more than five years of experience. She specializes in treating adolescents and adults suffering from anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance abuse difficulties. Dr. Aster works from an evidence-based framework, with an emphasis on mindfulness practice, acceptance of difficult internal states, and valued-based living to increase quality of life. This approach to treatment is otherwise known as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which is a newer, more contemporary, or “third wave” type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
Dr. Aster graduated magna cm laude from Seton Hall University in 2010, where she received her B.A. in Psychology. During her undergraduate training, she focused her education on abnormal psychology, psychological development across the lifespan, psychological research and practice, and the role of attachment in the development of severe emotional distress. She co-authored and co-conducted a qualitative research study titled “Adult children of gay and le***an parents: Religion and the parent-child relationship” which was published in The Counseling Psychologist in May of 2013. In 2010, Dr. Aster was awarded the Seton Hall University Department Service Award, the Seton Hall Experiential Education Award, and was awarded Phi Beta Kappa membership for her academic achievement.
Dr. Aster received her doctoral degree at Kean University, an APA-accredited educational institution, in Union, NJ, where graduated summa cm laude with an M.A. in Educational Psychology and Psy.D in School and Clinical Psychology. Dr. Aster’s doctoral training concentrated on the research and implementation of mindfulness skills and the reduction of intense emotional distress among individuals who have experienced chronic complex trauma. Her doctoral dissertation was entitled “Mindfulness as a mediator of post-traumatic stress disorder and depressive symptom change in trauma-exposed adult females”. It was during her graduate training that Dr. Aster began to research, study, disseminate with clients, and practice on her own, a daily mindfulness regimen.
Dr. Aster completed her predoctoral internship, as well as her post-doctoral fellowship, at the Brattleboro Retreat, in Brattleboro, VT. Here, Dr. Aster provided psychotherapy to patients on a full continuum of care, from traditional outpatient psychotherapy to the partial hospitalization level of care. A majority of her clinical work took place in a specialized Trauma and Addiction treatment center for active and retired Law Enforcement, Fire, Military, Veterans, EMTs, and Corrections Personnel. Dr. Aster’s work in this program consisted largely of running ACT-based psychotherapy groups, leading Trauma-Sensitive Yoga Nidra, and leading Mindfulness Groups. Most notably, she provided intensive trauma and recovery-focused therapy from a unique blend of evidenced-based treatment interventions including ACT, cognitive processing therapy, and dialectical behavior therapy. Given her passion for implementing such treatments, Dr. Aster co-developed a 3-day mindfulness and compassion workshop for the Connecticut State Police in April of 2017.
Dr. Aster is a member of the American Psychological Association (APA), the New Jersey Psychological Association (NJPA), the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT), the Association for Contextual Behavior Science (ACBS), and the Morris County Psychological Association (MCPA). She is an active member in the NJ and NY Chapters of ACBS as well, and currently serves as the Manager of the NYC Association for Contextual Behavior Science Board of Directors. Dr. Aster is also an adjunct professor at Kean University in the Combined School and Clinical Psy.D Program. Furthermore, she provides clinical consultation to the Fire Department of New York Counseling Services Unit.
Dr. Aster has attended numerous training seminars to continue her education from experts in the field of trauma, acceptance and commitment therapy, written exposure therapy, compassion focused therapy, and acceptance-based behavior therapy for generalized anxiety disorder. She is available to give presentations to professional and non-professionals on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Mindfulness, and Trauma, with a focus clinical, non-clinical, and Uniformed Services populations.
Dr. Aster enjoys the challenge of helping her clients understand their emotional worlds, as they develop insight into how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors make sense given their histories. It is her hope that her clients may view the inevitable instances of human pain in life as essential building blocks in their unique journeys.
“I am deeply committed to helping my clients maximize their emotional and psychological strength. I truly believe that therapy can help foster individuals to be more than just “okay”. Using integrative therapeutic strategies, we work together to navigate challenges that impact your access to a more complete and meaningful life. Watching the process of growth and change in my clients is my passion, and my life’s work.”
