Stacey Pinilis - Parenting With A Pause

09/19/2025

09/12/2024

How are all of my Empty Nesters doing? Here’s a recent photo of the nest I last posted. It’s covered up by new growth and some leaves about to fall. It’s still there holding the memories of the life that lived there. I’m 3 weeks in and still processing this new life chapter. If you are going through it too, I’d love to hear how you’re doing.

07/18/2024

Parents with older kids might experience moments when our kids tell us something negative they remember from childhood. This is great advice for us to do when we’re feeling defensive or upset and want to provide our version of the story.

05/07/2024

Do you believe in signs? A couple weeks ago we had to say goodbye to our sweet dog Sunny. It was heartbreaking and came out of nowhere. One day she just didn’t get up and got worse over the next few days. She was such a big presence in our lives and I miss her! The day after she died I saw a robin’s nest in our yard. It was in a short tree so I could see perfectly inside. Two teeny baby birds and a blue shell. I said hello and thanked Sunny for the gift. Over the next two weeks I used up all of my remaining ICloud storage to take pictures and videos of these birds. I felt them in my heart just where I feel Sunny. I was always quiet and careful so as not to scare them or their mama who was always nearby. Yesterday the nest was empty. I can’t ignore the fact that my nest will soon be empty too. I stared at the nest amazed at nature and I thanked the birds and Sunny for this gift. And then I finally put my son’s graduation sign on my front lawn.

04/22/2024

I see you too.

03/13/2024

I was surprised to find out that a definition of the phrase hang in there means to “remain persistent and determined in difficult circumstances.” This seems to suggest taking more action than I would have thought. Initially I posted to let you all know that’s it’s ok and will get better. Time changes, life changes, war. Things can feel tough. I like the idea that hanging in there is not actually a passive state of just chilling out and trusting that this too shall pass. What small action step can you take as you hang in there? Being persistent and determined is so empowering. I like this definition and can see how it can help us move through difficult things a bit more effectively. What are you willing to do today to make yourself feel better?

02/20/2024

We’re so excited about the letters we’ve gotten from parents and even some young adults wanting some wisdom. Here’s the latest. I hope it helps Muffin Top Mama! Maybe this will resonate with some of you too!

Dear Parenting with a Pause, I’ve been gaining weight due to menopause and every time I complain about how my clothes don’t fit me, my daughter tells me to stop trash talking my body and that I’m going to give her an eating disorder. Is it so wrong that I express frustration about MY body’s ...

02/08/2024

It goes fast right? You were just trying to get your kids to put on their jackets and get in the car so they’d get to school on time. Now you might be getting ready to send them to college. Every stage of parenting comes with questions. Are you wondering about something in particular? Worrying about something? We got you covered. You can drop your question right here in the comments! Ask away. You’ll see you’re not alone. We all have similar struggles and similar questions!!

02/01/2024

Introducing Dear Parenting with a Pause! A new advice column for parents and people who have parents! Submit your questions through visiting my website https://staceypinilislcsw.com/dear-parenting-with-a-pause/ You’ll get answers from two perspectives - mine and one from my favorite daughter Olivia! Looking forward to hearing from you!

01/04/2024

I hate articles and posts detailing what I wish my younger self knew or what I’d tell my younger self. How is this helpful? Younger people will not benefit. They need to live their own lives. Our wisdom is for us not them. If you’re a parent you might already know this. And we will not benefit either. If my 22 year old self suffering in an horrible entry level job knew I’d eventually go to grad school and love my work would she be any happier? Instead write a letter to your future self, the self where all possibility exists. What do they look like? Feel like? Where do they work? Travel to? Live? Writing this out and then reading it daily is another tool to help you on your journey. If we’re not intentionally living, life goes by and then we are wishing for the past instead of creating in the present. Dear Future Self, Wow. You did it. You’re amazing…. Who’s In?

12/10/2023

Last week I mentioned humming the same song while walking the dog. I’m still humming, and I’m also thinking. Today my thoughts turn to the benefit of humming. Clients want to know what they can do when they feel stressed. Here’s an easy tool. Hum. 🎶 Humming activates the vagus nerve, promoting relaxation. The vagus nerve is like your body's built-in chill button, and activating it can foster a sense of calm. I probably instinctively hum while walking my puppy to calm myself down as he jumps and barks. This also works to help him be calmer too. Consider how this might work with your kids. You hear arguing in the next room, feel that dread start to stir in your belly and instead of marching in and yelling or running in with worry, you pause and start to hum. Try it and see if you can get into a more relaxed state and parent from a calmer place.

11/29/2023

When I’m walking my new dog I need to be 100% focused on him. He’s still a puppy who likes to bark, jump and eat treats off the street. This means I can’t have headphones in my ears listening to something or talking to someone. I’ve noticed that in place of this I’ve been humming the same song every time we get outside. It’s almost become like an unconscious habit. I click the leash and start to hum. Today I looked up the meaning to the song which is actually a Hebrew prayer. It’s not so weird given the current state of the world but not the usual song stuck in my head. Sim Shalom means in short to grant peace, goodness, blessing, loving kindness and compassion. I didn’t know this when it popped into my head weeks ago but it stuck. Feel free to hum along or pick something else to uplift your world and the world around you. If not I’ll keep humming for you.