Diane Mouradian, LMFT, TF CBT

11/05/2025

First Time Eyes

I just returned from a weekend in Nashville and, without doubt, it was one of the best trips I’ve ever taken.

Clearly, Nashville is THE seat of country music. Am I a country music enthusiast? No, not at all. My knowledge of country music is so very limited that I was certain that it would be an opportunity to experience something completely new. And that’s what I wanted. To enjoy being a total newbie.

The Country Music Hall of Fame and the Johnny Cash Museums were true gems - highlighting music, artists, stories, instruments, wardrobes, memorabilia…spanning a hundred years of country music history.

We even enjoyed a night at the Grand Ole Opry. A historic venue with a famed stage that has launched the careers of so many artists. Again, an experience outside of my daily frame of reference but, now, is one for the books. And maybe that’s why…something totally new that sparked my novice appreciation.

I had a similar rush (but for a different reason) at Andrew Jackson’s Hermitage. I’ll admit that I had some preconceived notions/concerns about possible glorification of history (or sanitizing of it). My knowledge was limited and my apprehension was high. Not the best combination…

Thankfully, I was wrong. I got to see reality - the good, the bad and the ugly…from Jackson’s positive contribution towards a new type of government representation to his regrettable participation in slave ownership and Indian removal. And the messaging was explicit: we can’t ignore the parts of history that we don’t like or don’t want to see. We must look at it all if we want to learn and evolve.

To be a novice - in Nashville - at 61 was revitalizing. To feel that spark of newness….to feel a sense of wonder…to learn and feel my frame of reference expand. I got what I was hoping for…

So, as Marcel Proust said, “the real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new vistas but in having new eyes.” Here’s to turning towards and learning from what we don’t know and/or don’t like. That’s where hope for change resides. That’s where our own growth lies.

What do you think? Have you had similar ah-ha moments?

https://throughmymindseyeblog.com/2025/11/05/first-time-eyes/

10/27/2025

Having a heart while having some edge is a life skill that takes development. While there are likely prettier ways to phrase it, having an edge is the phrase that feels right. For me, an edge means a boundary, a line in the sand, a no fly zone. Without doubt, early in my life, I didn’t even know it was necessary to have an edge....

Having a heart while having some edge is a life skill that takes development. While there are likely prettier ways to phrase it, having an edge is the phrase that feels right. For me, an edge means…

10/27/2025

An Edgy Heart

Having a heart while having some edge is a life skill that takes development. While there are likely prettier ways to phrase it, having an edge is the phrase that feels right. For me, an edge means a boundary, a line in the sand, a no fly zone.

Without doubt, early in my life, I didn’t even know it was necessary to have an edge. I didn’t know that I needed to show up in different ways at different times. I learned the hard way, like most of us, and maybe that’s THE way we learn about this skill. From life itself…whether we’re prepared or not…

I think back about my lived experiences, some happy, many exciting, others sad, confusing, even intimidating and a few truly scary…how they shaped my personality over time…sometimes showing up as light and carefree, other times energetic, loving, tenacious, worried, salty and, at times, really really tough.

I imagine we are all multifaceted in this sense, having had a range of experiences that morph into a range of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Coupled with how our genetics impact our temperament…

Some reactions are adaptive…tailoring themselves to the situation at hand. Some reactions are maladaptive…they don’t fit with what’s happening, like when we’re tough but the situation doesn’t warrant it…or being open when we need to have stronger boundaries. For sure, this is a simplistic illustration but I offer it to set a basic context.

And, to be clear, maladaptive isn’t a judgement or an indictment either but, rather, a reflection on our skills and whether or not our actions/reactions align with the situation at hand. The key is adaptation. Scanning the environment and deciding how best to show up…

This can sound so easy but, in reality, can be so very hard. First and foremost, do we even have the skills to handle what’s happening right now? Second, and without doubt, how we, oftentimes, carry the residue of our past into our present whether it’s warranted or not.

I haven’t always gotten it right. At times, I’ve been too soft and, at others, too tough. The rearview mirror is a great place to observe that. What I find now, though, is that when I slow down (if I catch myself) I have more time to calibrate my actions/reactions. How I use my history, on behalf of my present and future, requires a lot of thought, as well as attunement to who and what surrounds me and how I need/want to show up.

Having a bank of experiences and the knowledge that comes from them is like a treasure chest, especially if we are good stewards of that deep wisdom. We can sift through that chest and pick out what seems appropriate for the situation at hand. What does life want from us right here, right now? And how do we want to show up? The beauty of it all is that, more often than not, we have the power to decide.

https://throughmymindseyeblog.com/2025/10/27/an-edgy-heart/

10/13/2025

What bothers me about cliches is that, oftentimes, they sound so cheesy while, at the same time, are so true. Someone, somewhere, identified an experience and attached some pithy words to it which we can then relate to…sometimes begrudgingly. Here’s my love-hate relationship with a particular cliche: write your own story. The sound of this both bothers and inspires me. …...

What bothers me about cliches is that, oftentimes, they sound so cheesy while, at the same time, are so true. Someone, somewhere, identified an experience and attached some pithy words to it which …

09/30/2025

I love polka dots. Big, small, black, white, multi-colored. I don’t know why. I just do. They’re so happy and brighten my mood. When I come upon them I feel my heart do a little dance. Weird? Maybe. True? Definitely. Life is complex and, at times, can feel very challenging (like now, for example) so turning towards something simple and joyful is like a balm…a welcome haven....

I love polka dots. Big, small, black, white, multi-colored. I don’t know why. I just do. They’re so happy and brighten my mood. When I come upon them I feel my heart do a little dance. Weird? Maybe…

09/30/2025

From Chaos Come Polka Dots

I love polka dots. Big, small, black, white, multi-colored. I don’t know why. I just do. They’re so happy and brighten my mood. When I come upon them I feel my heart do a little dance. Weird? Maybe. True? Definitely.

Life is complex and, at times, can feel very challenging (like now, for example) so turning towards something simple and joyful is like a balm…a welcome haven. It’s an opportunity to refocus and find respite…a chance for the brain and heart to rest for a bit and swell with joy. Simplicity can foster calm because we don’t have to work at it. We can just receive and be in it and one with it.

When I was little, I loved The Sound of Music and daydreamed of being Maria Von Trapp. Full of sass and ready to face a challenge. Remember when she sang My Favorite Things?

“when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad…I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad…”

For Maria, it was drain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens…for me, it’s polka dots. Oh, and right now, it’s Mars the baby hippo in Kansas and Fat Bear Week contenders in Katmai Park. Pure joy… Maybe simplistic but true, nonetheless.

At those moments when things feel overwhelming, looking for simplicity, joy and calm is a self care strategy. Something to make the soreness go away, albeit temporarily…

What makes you happy? What are your favorite things?

https://throughmymindseyeblog.com/2025/09/30/from-chaos-come-polka-dots/

09/22/2025

I Was Told There Would Be Shish Kebab

Saturday was the annual Armenian food festival in San Francisco. It has become our yearly tradition, an opportunity to celebrate and savor my cultural background.

From the moment I got out of the car, I felt my emotions stirred up. I’m not sure how to describe it. I’ve really been in my feelings lately, with all of the heaviness in the world, so I guess I’d say I was feeling very sensitive. I felt the tears, even though they didn’t quite make their way to my eyes.

This isn’t a somber tale, though. On the contrary, it’s a reminder of how we can be soothed in the, seemingly, most ordinary ways. Our senses are powerful.

As we made our way up the sidewalk, the couple walking behind us was speaking in Armenian. Even though I wasn’t listening to what they were saying, the SOUND was soothing. The familiar tone and rhythm of language that evoked memories of my parents and extended family conversing, sharing thoughts, feelings and experiences.

And then there was the SOUND of the music…reminiscent of events we attended and, even, the Armenian Radio Hour my father would listen to every Sunday morning, while sitting at our dining room table, eating his breakfast and reading the newspaper. Music that was both entertaining and soulful, a reminder of our culture’s rich heritage…

As I looked around the festival grounds, the SIGHT of the people milling around was like seeing myself, my family, my ancestral background…so very comforting. Similar facial features, hair, eye color…a belonging of sorts.

It was lunchtime when we arrived and, if you know you know, Armenian food festivals shine in the church auditorium. The SMELL and TASTE of shish kebab and rice pilaf - amazing - like being home - the rich flavors and scents of long ago family meals. Something so ordinary (and taken for granted) as a child and now so special….

Even the feel of holding the skewer (Shish) and sliding the pieces of meat (Kebab) down to the plate was so familiar. The power of TOUCH…

Something deep in my memory and my heart stirred…I wanted to cry…but not sad tears. How would I describe the experience? More of an image than a word - a warm blanket. Like being enveloped by something so very soothing…at a time when I really needed it.

The capacity to be soothed, through our senses, exists for all of us. We’re wired for it. Sometimes, we may be more sensitive with one sense than another. We’re all different. I encourage you to experiment and find what moves you. A familiar smell, a sight or a sound…the feel of something or a taste that evokes well being. It’s an opportunity to get to know ourselves better. To build a toolkit that we can access when needed…

Can you remember an occasion in which you were transported to another time or place when one or more of your senses was activated?

https://throughmymindseyeblog.com/2025/09/22/i-was-told-there-would-be-shish-kebab/

09/22/2025

Saturday was the annual Armenian food festival in San Francisco. It has become our yearly tradition, an opportunity to celebrate and savor my cultural background. From the moment I got out of the car, I felt my emotions stirred up. I’m not sure how to describe it. I’ve really been in my feelings lately, with all of the heaviness in the world, so I guess I’d say I was feeling very sensitive....

Saturday was the annual Armenian food festival in San Francisco. It has become our yearly tradition, an opportunity to celebrate and savor my cultural background.  From the moment I got out of…

09/15/2025

Many years ago, I heard this expression. It’s a translation of a Chinese saying which means don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Simply put, have a contingency plan. It was shared with me in the context of future professional development and the ability to pivot if needed. It was meant to open my eyes and ground me in reality vs pie-in-sky thinking....

Many years ago, I heard this expression. It’s a translation of a Chinese saying which means don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Simply put, have a contingency plan. It was shared with me in the …

09/15/2025

A Smart Rabbit Has More Than Three Holes

Many years ago, I heard this expression. It’s a translation of a Chinese saying which means don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Simply put, have a contingency plan. It was shared with me in the context of future professional development and the ability to pivot if needed. It was meant to open my eyes and ground me in reality vs pie-in-sky thinking.

Maybe it was who said it to me. Maybe it was when it was said to me. Maybe it was what I didn’t want to hear yet needed to hear so badly. Or, maybe all of the above…In retrospect, I was, indeed, naive at that time and, to a great degree, tunnel-visioned.

That conversation reached inside to the pit of my stomach, shook me up and forced me to consider the prudence of diversifying and expanding my horizon. Thankfully, my fantasy thinking came to a halt. Without doubt, this piece of wisdom set in motion a series of reflections, decisions and, ultimately, changes that turned my world upside down. It was the best thing that I never knew that I needed.

All these years, keeping that concept top of mind has been very important. In my case, the sight of a rabbit invariably triggers my recall of that long-ago conversation and reinforces the philosophy in which I so strongly believe. So, in ways that are both evident (like this collage that I created) as well as subtle, I make sure to keep the image present. When we connect the dots and ask ourselves how we might solve a situation or address an issue, knowledge can be transferable across life domains, even if years have passed.

If you think back over the course of your life, I imagine that you, too, have heard a piece of advice, a concept or a phrase, read a passage or seen an image that has impacted you, inspired you, scared you or possibly compelled you forward. If you identify something that is significant for you, how do you keep it present for yourself?

https://throughmymindseyeblog.com/2025/09/15/a-smart-rabbit-has-more-than-three-holes/

09/07/2025

I was 58 when I went to my first Highland Games, a celebration of all things Scottish… The caber toss, specifically, is a sporting event at the Highland Games, categorized under “heavy athletics”. Imagine kilt wearing athletes from differing clans, lifting and throwing a twenty foot, tapered, wooden pole weighing 100+ pounds, hoping to rotate it, as closely as possible, 180 degrees and, thereby, earn points....

I was 58 when I went to my first Highland Games, a celebration of all things Scottish… The caber toss, specifically, is a sporting event at the Highland Games, categorized under “heavy athletics”. …