Courageous Connections Counseling & Consulting

12/05/2025

11/21/2025

Have you ever noticed how your child can go from calm to explosive in seconds? Dan Siegel’s Upstairs / Downstairs Brain is a simple way to understand why.

The 'downstairs brain' is in charge of big emotions, survival instincts and staying safe. It reacts quickly – think fight, flight, freeze.

The 'upstairs brain' is where problem-solving, empathy, and reasoning live. It helps children make good choices, manage feelings, and connect with others.

But here’s the catch: children’s upstairs brains are still under construction. That means when emotions overwhelm, their downstairs brain often takes over.

This isn’t 'bad behaviour' – it’s biology. When we see it this way, we can respond with compassion, co-regulation, and strategies that help a young person move from downstairs to upstairs.
Resources to support educating a child around this model are available in our Resource Store.
EMOTIONS and MY BRAIN
This extensive resource pack based on Dan Siegel’s Upstairs and Downstairs Brain
helps and educates children and young people on the concept of the upstairs and downstairs brain can help them recognise how their own brain functions and develop strategies for self-regulation and emotional intelligence.
The pack comprises explainers, emotions scale resources, practical activities including upstairs and downstairs brain choices (behaviours), stress response, amygdala hijack, explainers for both adults and young people and activities to consolidate learning around parts of the brain and functions. Also includes 5 skin tone range of emotions.

Varying resources to suit ages 6-16yrs. Now also available as an 8 week intervention.
Electronic download available at link in comments or via our Linktree Shop in Bio.

FOLLOW for more posts in our series, When Worries Take Over.

11/20/2025

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11/12/2025

During a meltdown, the goal is not to 'fix' or 'stop' the behaviour.
The goal is to help the nervous system return to safety.

What we say — and how we say it — makes a profound difference.

When a child is overwhelmed, the thinking parts of the brain are offline.
They can’t reason, respond, or problem-solve yet.
They need co-regulation, not correction.

This post offers phrases you can use at each stage of the meltdown cycle — not to control the moment, but to support safety, connection, and repair.

Because when a child learns:
“I can have big feelings and still be safe with you,”
they develop emotional resilience, trust, and self-understanding.

If you found this helpful and would like a deeper breakdown of each phase (with step-by-step support strategies), you’ll find the full Timeline of a Meltdown resource via link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

Save this to come back to when things feel overwhelming

10/18/2025

Our children don’t just inherit our features — they inherit our unfinished stories…

The fears we never faced.
The truths we softened to keep the peace.
The love we struggled to give when we didn’t feel it for ourselves.

They learn from the way we move through life — how we handle disappointment, how we speak when we’re upset, how we grasp for control when things feel uncertain…

And slowly, the very patterns that once hurt us, begin to live on through us. Until one day, we see it — a reflection of what we’ve carried, showing up in them. In their tone. In their eyes. In the way they pull back, or try a little too hard to please.

That’s when the cycle can shift. Because awareness isn’t a finish line — it’s an opening.

When we meet our pain with compassion, we stop passing it on.

When we choose to heal, everything changes — not just for us, but for them.

And when we choose to do that work, our children inherit not our trauma, but our transformation. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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09/07/2025

Practical tools to support your parenting journey

09/06/2025

🌟 September is FASD Awareness Month 🌟

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) doesn’t always “look” like what people expect. It’s not just about physical traits — it can impact how a person thinks, learns, regulates emotions, and connects with others.

👉 That’s why FASD is often called an “invisible disability.” Families, educators, and caregivers may see challenges with memory, attention, or emotional control — without realizing the brain differences at play.

💛 With understanding and the right supports, people with FASD can thrive. Raising awareness helps us replace stigma with compassion, and assumptions with tools that truly help.

📣 This month, let’s talk about it.
What do you think our communities need most to better support individuals and families living with FASD? Drop your thoughts below ⬇️