Dr. Kathryn Rickard

Dr. Kathryn Rickard Dr. Kathryn Rickard is a Licensed Psychologist offering telehealth psychoanalytic psychotherapy in Vermont and across 42 PSYPACT states.

She helps thoughtful adults cultivate deeper self-understanding, emotional clarity, and lasting inner change. Dr. Kathryn Rickard is a Licensed Montpelier, VT Psychologist, offering psychoanalytic psychotherapy to increase self-awareness, and other life-enhancing skills for longer lasting success in one's personal life, including work and relationships and reducing such issues as anxiety and depression.

In seasons of physical strain, emotional stress, or cognitive overload, the instinct is often to push harder — to prove ...
02/14/2026

In seasons of physical strain, emotional stress, or cognitive overload, the instinct is often to push harder — to prove capacity, resilience, or worth.

But clinically, we know that sustained output without recovery is not strength. It is depletion.

Rest is not regression.
Recovery is not failure.
Pausing is not falling behind.

When the body signals overload — through pain, fatigue, irritability, or sensory sensitivity — it is not weakness. It is information.

Especially for those managing chronic illness, caregiving stress, or prolonged uncertainty, self-regulation is not indulgence. It is preservation.

There are seasons for building and seasons for stabilizing. Both are legitimate.

Strength sometimes looks like doing less — intentionally.

Sometimes strength is not pushing harder, but knowing when to pause...

Thank you A Solo Traveler for this incredibly moving story about human connection. You don’t have to carry your weight a...
01/31/2026

Thank you A Solo Traveler for this incredibly moving story about human connection. You don’t have to carry your weight alone.

I locked the classroom door. The metal click echoed like a gunshot in the sudden silence.

I turned to the twenty-five high school seniors staring at me. They were the Class of 2026. They were supposed to be the “Zoomers,” the digital natives, the generation that had everything figured out.
But from where I stood, looking at their faces illuminated by the blue light of hidden phones, they just looked tired.

“Put the phones away,” I said. My voice was quiet, but they heard it. “Turn them off. Not silent. Off.”

There was a grumble, a collective shifting of bodies in plastic chairs, but they did it.

For thirty years, I have taught History in this gritty, working-class town in Pennsylvania. I’ve watched the factories close. I’ve watched the opioids creep in like a fog. I’ve watched the arguments at home turn into wars on the news.

On my desk sat an old, olive-green military rucksack. It belonged to my father. It smells like old canvas and gasoline. It’s stained. It’s ugly.

For the first month of school, the students ignored it. They thought it was just “Mr. Miller’s junk.”

They didn’t know it was the heaviest thing in the entire building.
This year’s class was brittle. That’s the only word for it. You had the football players who walked with a swagger that looked practiced.

You had the theater kids who were too loud, trying to drown out the silence. You had the quiet ones who wore hoodies in September, trying to disappear into the drywall.

The air in the room was thick. Not with hate, but with exhaustion. They were eighteen years old, and they were already done.
“I’m not teaching the Constitution today,” I said, dragging the heavy rucksack to the center of the room. I dropped it on a stool.

Thud.

The sound made a girl in the front row flinch.
“We are going to do something different,” I said. “I’m passing out plain white index cards.”

I walked the rows, placing a card on each desk.
“I have three rules. If you break them, you leave.”
I held up a finger.

“Rule one: Do not write your name. This is anonymous. Completely.”

“Rule two: Total honesty. No jokes. No memes.”

“Rule three: Write down the heaviest thing you are carrying.”

A hand went up. It was Marcus, the defensive captain of the football team. A giant of a kid, usually cracking jokes. He looked confused. “What do you mean, ‘carrying’? Like, books?”

I leaned back against the whiteboard. “No, Marcus. I mean the thing that keeps you awake at 3:00 AM. The secret you are terrified to say out loud because you think people will judge you. The fear. The pressure. The weight on your chest.”

I looked them in the eyes. “We call this ‘The Rucksack.’ What goes in the bag, stays in the bag.”

The room went tomb-silent. The air conditioning hummed.
For five minutes, nobody moved. They looked at each other, waiting for the first person to crack.

Then, a girl in the back—Sarah, straight-A student, perfect hair—picked up her pen. She wrote furiously.

Then another. Then another.
Marcus, the football player, stared at the blank white card for a long time. His jaw was tight. He looked angry. Then, he hunched over, shielding his paper with his massive arm, and wrote three words.

When they were done, they walked up, one by one. They folded their cards and dropped them into the open mouth of the rucksack. It was like a religious ritual. A silent confession.

I zipped the bag shut. The sound was sharp.
“This,” I said, resting my hand on the faded canvas. “This is this room. You look at each other and you see jerseys, or makeup, or grades. But this bag? This is who you actually are.”

I took a deep breath. My own heart was hammering. It always does.
“I am going to read these out loud,” I said. “And your job—your only job—is to listen. No laughing. No whispering. No glancing at your neighbor to guess who wrote it. We just hold the weight. Together.”

I opened the bag. I reached in and pulled the first card.

I unfolded it. The handwriting was jagged.

“My dad lost his job at the plant six months ago. He puts on a suit every morning and leaves so the neighbors don’t know. He sits in his car at the park all day. I know he’s crying. I’m scared we’re going to lose the house.”

The room felt colder. I pulled the next one.
“I carry Narcan in my backpack. Not for me. For my mom. I found her blue on the bathroom floor last Tuesday. I saved her life, and then I came to school and took a Math test. I’m so tired.”

I paused. I looked up. Nobody was looking at their phones. Nobody was sleeping. They were staring at the bag.

I pulled another.
“I check the exits every time I walk into a movie theater or a grocery store. I map out where I would hide if a shooter came in. I’m eighteen and I plan my own death every day.”

Another.
“My parents hate each other because of politics. They scream at the TV every night. My dad says people who vote for the ‘other side’ are evil. He doesn’t know that I agree with the ‘other side.’ I feel like a spy in my own kitchen.”

Another.
“I have 10,000 followers on TikTok. I post videos of my perfect life. Last night, I sat in the shower with the water running so my little brother wouldn’t hear me sobbing. I am more lonely than I have ever been.”

I kept reading. For twenty minutes, the truth poured out of that green bag.

“I’m gay. My grandfather is a pastor. He told me last Sunday that ‘those people’ are broken. I love him, but I think he hates me, and he doesn’t even know it’s me.”

“We pretend the WiFi is down, but I know Mom couldn’t pay the bill again. I eat the free lunch at school because there’s nothing in the fridge.”

“I don’t want to go to college. I want to be a mechanic. But my parents have a bumper sticker on their car that says ‘Proud College Parent.’ I feel like I’m already a disappointment.”

And finally, the last one. The one that made the air leave the room.
“I don’t want to be here anymore. The noise is too loud. The pressure is too heavy. I’m just waiting for a sign to stay.”
I folded the card slowly. I placed it gently back in the bag.

I looked up.
Marcus, the tough linebacker, had his head in his hands. His shoulders were shaking. He wasn’t hiding it.

Sarah, the girl with the perfect grades, was reaching across the aisle, holding the hand of a boy who wore black eyeliner and usually sat alone. He was gripping her hand like a lifeline.

The barriers were gone. The cliques were dissolved.
They weren’t Jocks, or Nerds, or Liberals, or Conservatives. They were just kids. Kids walking through a storm without an umbrella.
“So,” I said, my voice cracking slightly. “That is what we carry.”

I zipped the bag. The sound was final.
“I’m hanging this back on the wall. It stays here. You don’t have to carry it alone anymore. Not in here. In this room, we are a team.”
The bell rang. Usually, it triggers a stampede.

Today, nobody moved.
Slowly, quietly, they began to pack up their things. And then, something happened that I will never forget.

As Marcus walked past the stool, he didn’t just walk by. He stopped. He reached out and patted the rucksack, two gentle thumps. I got you.

Then the next student. She rested her palm on the strap for a second.

Then the boy who wrote about the Narcan. He touched the metal buckle.

Every single student touched that bag on the way out. They were acknowledging the weight. They were saying, I see you.

I have taught American History for three decades. I have lectured on the Civil War, the Great Depression, and the Civil Rights Movement. But that hour was the most important lesson I have ever taught.

We live in a country obsessed with winning. With looking strong. With the “highlight reel” we post on social media. We are terrified of our own cracks.

And our kids? They are paying the price. They are drowning in silence, right next to each other.

That evening, I received an email. The subject line was blank.
“Mr. Miller. My son came home today and hugged me. He hasn’t hugged me since he was twelve. He told me about the bag. He said he felt ‘real’ for the first time in high school. He told me he was struggling. We are going to get help. Thank you.”

The green rucksack is still on my wall. It looks like garbage to anyone who walks in. But to us, it’s a monument.

Listen to me.
Look around you today. The woman ahead of you in the checkout line buying generic cereal. The teenager with the headphones on the bus. The man shouting about politics on Facebook.

They are all carrying a rucksack you cannot see. It is packed with fear, with financial worry, with loneliness, with trauma.

Be kind. Be curious. Stop judging the surface and remember the weight underneath.

Don’t be afraid to ask the people you love: “What are you carrying today?”

You might just save a life

Some people come to therapy not because they are broken, but because they never had enough room to be themselves. Healin...
01/25/2026

Some people come to therapy not because they are broken, but because they never had enough room to be themselves. Healing often begins when there is finally space to stop performing, explaining, or holding it all together—and to let experience speak for itself.

Not everyone begins life feeling claimed or held. For some, belonging is not something to recover but something to be di...
01/24/2026

Not everyone begins life feeling claimed or held. For some, belonging is not something to recover but something to be discovered for the first time. Therapy can become a space where the self is met beneath the labels that have already taken hold—where being human comes first, and connection is allowed to grow without conditions.

✨ Notes From Wanderer ✨On the Underrated Power of a Quiet LifeIn a culture that often equates success with visibility, n...
11/28/2025

✨ Notes From Wanderer ✨
On the Underrated Power of a Quiet Life

In a culture that often equates success with visibility, noise, and accomplishment, I find myself returning to a simple truth: a quiet life is deeply underrated. Not because those who live loudly or ambitiously are any less vital—but because we’ve collectively forgotten the value of anonymity, of stillness, of not always being on display.

There is a particular kind of strength in the spaces where we aren’t constantly perceived, evaluated, or performing.
In taking a walk without urgency.
In smiling at strangers.
In noticing small details in the world that rarely ask for applause.

Some of the most sustaining joys come from the smallest, most unremarkable moments—a warm cup of coffee, blowing out birthday candles, hearing a familiar voice. Our lives don’t need to be a grand spectacle to be meaningful. They don’t need an audience to have worth or impact.

There is depth in living gently.
There is power in being unobserved.
There is peace in the quiet.

— Notes from Wanderer

🇨🇦 Canada DayAs a Canadian living and working in the U.S., I often reflect on the layered meaning of “home.” For some, t...
07/01/2025

🇨🇦 Canada Day

As a Canadian living and working in the U.S., I often reflect on the layered meaning of “home.” For some, today brings pride and gratitude. For others, it brings grief, memory, or a complicated sense of belonging—especially in light of the histories carried by this land.

As a psychoanalytic psychologist, I hold space for all of it—the contradictions, the emotions, the quiet reckonings.

Wishing a thoughtful Canada Day to all who observe it.

Seneca helped many... even those who betrayed him the most.He was a mentor, counselor, and moral guide.And even so, not ...
06/28/2025

Seneca helped many... even those who betrayed him the most.
He was a mentor, counselor, and moral guide.
And even so, not everyone thanked him.
He was even unjustly accused and forced to die on the orders of the one he had supported the most: Nero.

So why did he do it?

Because for the wise, the soul is not soiled by the ingratitude of others.
Because virtue does not depend on recognition... but of inner cleanliness.
That's Eunoia:
Maintain kindness even when the world gives you silence back.
Acting with purity... even if no one applauds.
To remain noble... even if no one notices.

If you have given a lot and received little...
If it ever hurt you to help and not be valued...
This article can help you:

Don't change your essence for the ungrateful one who didn't know how to see it.
(Author: Carlos Arias)

Sometimes we forget that growth takes time.Even Monet tended his garden before he ever picked up a brush.As a psychoanal...
06/27/2025

Sometimes we forget that growth takes time.
Even Monet tended his garden before he ever picked up a brush.

As a psychoanalytic psychologist, I often sit with people in the in-between—when the seeds are underground and nothing seems to be blooming yet. But that doesn’t mean nothing is happening.

Give yourself t i m e.
The work beneath the surface matters.

Appreciating realness…
06/19/2025

Appreciating realness…

Despite facing backlash, Alice Neel painted people as she truly saw them: complicated, unique, and imperfect.

During the Great Depression, Alice Neel moved to Spanish Harlem. She lived there for 24 years, painting many who were overlooked by mainstream art: immigrant families, blue-collar workers, people living in poverty. Neel didn’t just see herself as a portraitist; she called herself a “collector of souls.”

Her loved ones became her subjects, and she captured their personalities across generations. But many of her commissioned subjects weren’t pleased.

Several returned their portraits, unhappy with Neel's frank depictions. One person even complained she had portrayed their hands in a “rather cruel” way. Neel’s response? “I wasn’t cruel, nature was.”

Critics even went as far as to say her work resembled caricature, claiming it could be “traced directly back to the pages of Mad Magazine.” They argued she sacrificed “pictorial structure” for her “most immediate feelings.” But those very feelings are what make her art resonate. Without them, it simply wouldn’t connect.

But Neel adamantly refused to compromise her style, even when doing so might have benefited her finances or reputation. She painted what was true to her, persisting for decades in capturing the human experience through her distinctive style.

“You know what it takes to be an artist?” Neel said. “Hypersensitivity and the will of the devil. To never give up.”

Neel’s art received little recognition until she reached her early 60s, when the Graham Gallery began showing her portraits. As the 1960s ushered in massive social change and shook up the art world, Neel’s pioneering work attracted more and more attention.

Today, Neel’s portraits are considered to be among the greatest of 20th century American art.
__

🖼 Alice Neel, “Hartley,” 1966, oil on canvas, 50 x 36 in., Gift of Arthur M. Bullowa, On view in our East Building

What isn’t meant for you will grow heavy in your hands. Let it fall. The lightness that follows is its own kind of grace...
06/10/2025

What isn’t meant for you will grow heavy in your hands. Let it fall. The lightness that follows is its own kind of grace.

Someone once said:
Who knows maybe it was Meryl Streep, maybe it wasn’t

Let things fall apart — stop exhausting yourself trying to hold them together. Not everything is meant to last forever, and forcing what is already breaking will only drain you. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is let go.

Let people be upset. Let them misunderstand you. Let them criticize and judge. Their opinions are reflections of their own perceptions, not a measure of your worth. You do not need to explain yourself to those who are committed to misunderstanding you. You are not responsible for how others choose to see you or how they react to your truth.

Stop fearing the unknown. Stop asking, Where will I go? What will I do? as if the universe has not already carved a path for you. Loss can feel unbearable, but sometimes, it is simply clearing the way for something better. What is meant to leave will leave, no matter how desperately you try to hold on. What is meant to stay will find a way, no matter how uncertain things seem. Life always finds a way to balance itself, even when we can’t see how.

There is a rhythm to life, a natural order of endings and beginnings. When we resist that flow, we create suffering. We cling to what is breaking, fearing that nothing good will replace it. But this is an illusion. The universe is abundant, constantly unfolding new opportunities, new love, and new purpose. The only thing keeping you from it is your attachment to what no longer belongs to you.

And never, for a second, believe that the best is behind you. Life does not stop offering beauty just because you have endured hardship. The good has not run out. There is still more joy to experience, more love to receive, more peace to be found. But you must be willing to make room for it.

So, ask yourself—What am I holding onto that is holding me back? And when you find the answer, trust yourself enough to let it go. Something better is already on its way.

Image | Meryl Streep by Kurt Markus
Credit to the unknown ✍️ author

In a world that often asks us to harden, Maya Angelou reminds us that tenderness is its own kind of strength. Her wish—t...
06/09/2025

In a world that often asks us to harden, Maya Angelou reminds us that tenderness is its own kind of strength. Her wish—that we continue to be who we are, to meet cruelty with kindness and sorrow with humor—feels more urgent and more possible than ever. May we all carry that wish forward today.

With Psychoanalytic Electronic Publishing (PEP-Web) – I just got recognized as one of their top fans! 🎉
06/09/2025

With Psychoanalytic Electronic Publishing (PEP-Web) – I just got recognized as one of their top fans! 🎉

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