Paradise Creek Counseling

10/22/2025

Emotional and behavioral regulation is not a choice. It is a developmental process that unfolds in the brain.

The regions responsible for self-control, focus, and emotional balance, including the prefrontal cortex and its connections to the limbic system, mature slowly over many years.

These pathways are shaped through repeated experiences of connection, movement, and co-regulation, not through sitting still, punishment, or rewards.

Expecting children to learn regulation by practicing stillness goes against how the brain develops. Just as muscles strengthen through movement, the ability to self-regulate strengthens through safe, embodied experiences that engage both brain and body.

When children are asked to suppress movement or emotion before they are ready, their nervous systems shift into stress mode. Rather than fostering control, this creates disconnection and tension.

Tantrums, impulsivity, and restlessness are not acts of defiance. They are expressions of an immature nervous system still learning to find balance.

The adult’s role is not to correct these moments but to anchor them with calm, empathy, and presence.

Regulation begins in relationship. When a steady adult helps a child return to balance, the brain encodes safety, wiring the foundation for true self-regulation over time.

Children can regulate when they feel secure, when they have room to move, and when their emotions are met with patience instead of punishment. A tantrum is not a test of obedience but a test of safety. Each moment of co-regulation teaches the brain what to expect and how to respond next time.

Readiness for school, for relationships, and for life grows not from compliance or stillness, but from the lived experience of being seen, soothed, and supported.

10/17/2025

We need to stop treating sport as 'extra' and start recognizing it as mental health infrastructure. Because nothing heals like sport.

10/03/2025

09/20/2025

We are scared of the wrong things...

We worry about skinned knees and climbing too high, while overlooking the real danger quietly unfolding.

Children are moving less than ever before, even though movement is what builds both the body and the brain. Only about one in four children meet daily activity recommendations, and outdoor free play has dropped by more than half in recent decades.

And when children are outside, they are rarely given the freedom their bodies and brains need. They are hovered over, directed, redirected, and told “be careful” every other minute. Instead of climbing, leaping, and testing their limits, they are being micromanaged.

Meanwhile, screen use is at an all-time high.

Preschoolers now average over two hours a day, and older children often five or more. Constant screen time drains the developing nervous system, disrupts sleep and dopamine regulation, and leaves children still, sedentary, and emotionally flooded (and disconnected from others).

In trying to prevent every hurt, we’ve stripped away the very experiences that wire children to handle the world. Running, climbing, crashing, wrestling, and recovering build balance, coordination, emotional regulation, and resilience. Without this, children are left fragile in every way, with adulthood being far more challenging than you'd imagine.

We are bubble-wrapping childhood and calling it safety, while it is quietly costing them their strength, confidence, and trust in themselves (short and long term consequences).

This is the conversation we need to have.

Join us next Wednesday (9/24) for our live webinar Brave Play: Risk, Weapons, Destructive Play, and the Freedom to Explore (part 3 in the summer of play series).

A full recording will be sent to all registrants so you can watch anytime.

Free Registration: https://us06web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_gauhhsCsR7usaSLppZn5vw

Catch up on Parts 1 & 2 and get certified for any or all three: https://www.weskoolhouse.com/store-webinars

09/04/2025

This image comes from an MRI study of preschoolers (Hutton et al., JAMA Pediatrics, 2020). It shows how screen use is linked to the wiring of the developing brain.

The top row (blue) highlights where more screen time is tied to weaker white matter organization. White matter is the brain’s wiring system that connects regions so they can work efficiently.

The bottom row (red) shows where heavier screen use is linked to weaker insulation on those connections. Insulation, or myelin, helps brain signals travel quickly, like the protective coating on an electrical wire.

Why does this matter? These highlighted areas include pathways for language, early literacy, and self-regulation. Children with higher screen scores also performed lower on language and literacy tests.

This is not a before and after of one child. It is a group-level finding. The message is clear. In the early years the brain is wiring for life. The more time children spend with people, play, movement, and books, the stronger these foundational circuits become.