08/02/2021
Do we just show up or we SHOW UP! Are we physically and emotionally showing up in relationships that are important or are we emotionally absent and just physically there? Don't expect any brownie points for just physically taking up space or showing up somewhere when you're emotionally detached from your surroundings or you want to be seen in the photos just to prove you were on the scene. Let me ask the question again, Were YOU really there...π€
I grew up in a two parent household.
My father worked 2 F/T jobs so that we could have a "decent" life, I could never tell you what it was like growing up without food, cloths and so on however as an adult I can tell you what it was like to have a parent who was emotionally unavailable.
My dad was an AMAZING provider and I'm forever grateful but emotionally he was unavailable because of his people pleasing, work ethics and his upbringing which played a HUGE part. My mom was the one taking us out every Saturday for pizza, shopping for clothes, taking us on small trips and so on. My father was always too tired, If he wasn't working he was sleeping and if he wasn't sleeping he was working. He was very involved in the church we attended as children, WORKING, FIXING this and that, like I said, he was always working. My mom would constantly plead, my siblings and I would plead "PLEASE COME WITH US!" 99.5% of the time it would be " No, "I'm too...
My father emotionally started showing up a few years before his illness which lead to his demise. I'm most positive if he had to do it all over again he would have taken the emotional presence over his lack of physical because his love language was a deep expression of his love for his family even though I needed moreβ€
Someone may be reading this and saying "Why are you complaining"π€ COMPLAINING, NO, not at all my love, what I'm doing is sharing the importance of the emotional presence or lack thereof. As adult in counseling, I realize that the lack of emotional involvement from my dad was a tool missing from my survival kit, that key component that I so needed to create healthy, emotionally balanced relationships. Sometimes we think because we are physically present that it's great however emotionally if you are detached it's like not being there at all.
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