The Better Living Collaborative

Home
United States
Mount Pleasant, SC
The Better Living Collaborative

Get started with my free self-compassion guide at radicalself.ck.page

I'm committed to providing individuals and organizations accessible tools (not rules!) for ‘Radical Wellness' - the art and science of being okay, even when things around us aren't.

03/10/2026

Healing isn’t simple—it’s messy, intense, and sometimes downright confusing. You’ll probably ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” more than once. So, here’s the real secret: it’s not just about feeling better (though that’s pretty amazing when it happens!), it’s about becoming a force for good. Your healing creates a ripple effect, inspiring others to repair and grow, too. 🌱

Healing serves the world— and you can be the change that stops the cycle of damage.

03/09/2026

The number of times I hear 'Well, but - I'm not really sure...' after inquiring about a trauma or an abusive encounter is extraordinarily high.

Why? Because we still have this message that abusive behavior is only overt. That it is always loud, raging, physically aggressive behavior that leaves a mark. We believe s*xually abusive behavior is always a r*pe and always done brutally, usually by someone we don't know.

Those kinds of abuses certainly exist (sadly). And they are awful.

But so, too, does the kind of abuse that gaslights someone into submission and causes them to stop believing or trusting themselves. The kind that causes them to discount anything short of that overt abuse as 'okay.'

Physical, s*xual, and psychological abuses usually do not announce themselves as abuse - in fact, they are often followed up by a kindness of some sort: a text message, a small gift, a period of especially helpful or appreciative behavior... Or, they may be followed up by a justification - they were having such a bad day, or even more gaslighting - that you were just being so difficult, so unfair, or so resistant...

So the story becomes one of confusion, self-doubt, and self-blame. Then story becomes symptoms: insomnia, depression, hypervigilance, anxiety...

Let me assure that if it was really 'okay,' these would not be your responses. That's not what 'okay' feels like. So, if this is your experience, it's time to reach out for that support - you deserve to feel much better than 'okay' to begin with. And, you deserve a safe place to explore what's happened so that it doesn't continue to limit your experiences. We can't change what's happened but we can change how what's happened is affecting us.

Reach out. There's support available. And you are worth it!

03/08/2026

There has been so much heaviness, tragedy, and trauma lately. So many of us are grieving, or feeling fearful, or angry, or maybe even in shock. Maybe all of the above.

But, we don't always know what to do with these kinds of feelings in the midst of a trauma or in the midst of a chaotic world. So, very often, individuals - especially those with freeze and fawn trauma responses - will just keep going about their normal routines.

If this is you, please know it's absolutely normal to do this. If this is someone you know, please don't categorize this person as someone who 'doesn't care.' You see, routine is a regulator. Routine can be, in and of itself, a nervous system regulator that signals to our body things are okay (or going to be.) Why would we want this? Because in order to respond, to cope, to eventually process the weight of what is going on around us, we have to be able to function. If your nervous system has been hijacked by the traumatic experience, that can't happen. So, when you're cleaning out a closet, or planning for the work week, or going grocery shopping, you're giving your nervous system a chance to break away from the trauma response and giving your brain critical time to think clearly, organize thoughts, and make plans.

Mental wellness is about balance: especially when living through real life situations. We've seen horrifying things recently, we've experienced both real and vicarious trauma, and many of us have felt very threatened. But, we also have the pressure of living: paying bills, taking care of our families, going to school or keeping other commitments. Life won't necessarily stop and so we must permit ourselves to do both things - process and release our emotions, and find ways to cope. Routine is one way we can cope.

03/06/2026

I have a habit of binge watching TV dramas... especially the ones about hospitals, politicians, or lawyers. It's something I was doing long before 'streaming' was an option. I just lived for those TV marathons! 📺

And, especially in those early years, I was binging those shows to transport me away from my own life. Anything to get out of my own head, away from my feelings, and forget about my situation. 🧠

Sound familiar?

There's really nothing wrong with the occasional escape - in fact, it can be a much needed respite from time-to-time. But I want to tell you - it's not helping you. Escaping is a delay-of-game and nothing more. ✨

That's why Intention Matters -
And that's never more true than when we are doing something for ourselves (whether we call it 'self-care' or not).

You must be in collaboration - in connection - with yourself. Your intentions must align with what you really need and, truth be told, what you need is never going to be to bury those feelings and escape. 🌈

Can binge-watching be self-care? Sure - but only with intention.

Eating your favorite food can be self-care - if your intention is to have a beautiful sensory experience, or to engage in nostalgic recall it certainly may be. But if it's to numb you to what is happening around you, that's just not going to work. 🍚

Like the honeybee, you have to take and give to yourself in collaboration with your own needs - to feed you, not starve you. 🐝

03/05/2026

It doesn't do anyone good to have resources that are out of reach. That's why I'm working on a revamp of the Radically Well Academy to include a host of very low-cost, self-driven, self-paced tools. I know all-too-well how difficult it can be to access help and support, within a budget and a schedule, especially in the aftermath of those really tough moments.

Download my free guide (the link is in the comments) and get on my mailing list so that you can get access to these tools for yourself and for those you love.

03/04/2026

We have to talk about the power of weaponized words for a minute - even without recognizing it, we can fall into the trap of using/welding words to exert control or elicit feelings of worth, value, etc.

I've done it. I've even done with the word on my post - Victim.

I have hated that word for the duration of my time 'inside' the category. In fact, I think I wrote about how disempowering that word is for a trauma-informed post and have railed against its presence on things like the 'Victims of Crime' paperwork I was once forced to fill out.

Now, I'm not wrong about the word being disempowering - it is. BUT, it's disempowering because of the way it's been weaponized, not because the word itself is a problem. We use the word 'victim' as a tool for shame and for silence. We use the word TO disempower. And that's the actual weaponization of it.

Think about it - if you can convince someone (me, for example) that sharing abuse, or sharing an injustice, or calling out a systemic wrong, makes me someone who is weak, or manipulative, or failing to take responsibility, you'll likely shut me up. And even if you don't, if you can paint me in that light, I'm discredited. That means the status quo can continue, undisturbed by its 'victims.'

But 'don't be a victim' is hollow - if you've been abused, suffered injustice, been taken advantage of - you ARE a victim (sorry to say.)

You just don't have to be ONLY a victim - You can also be a survivor, warrior, victor, change-agent, or whatever else you want. And, you know things others don't if they weren't a victim - you've got wisdom.

Victim = has been victimized.
Victim ≠ can't be anything else.

03/03/2026

I've decided to expand my client base while interning - offering $30 in-person or telehealth therapy sessions in South Carolina (no insurance.) With everything going on in the world, being able to offer something that is affordable and accessible is important to me. If I can support you, or someone you know, please reach out. I'd love to accompany you on your healing journey!

03/02/2026

As a doctoral student in Mental Health Counseling, I know the value of therapy.
As a DV survivor, I know the value of therapy.
As a parent, I know the value of therapy.
As a human in a world that often seems so harsh, I know the value of therapy.

I also know the stigma of the work I do - and the treatment I use. But it doesn't need to be that way. Let's normalize therapy - with a little levity 🥸

Therapy Nerd merchandise is my personal design - a playful way to start the conversation about why we can all use a little therapy from time to time. Tee's, hoodies, bags, pillowcases, and hats in a variety of fun colors and styles - with more to come. Shop the store and become an advocate today. You never know who you might empower!

betterlivingcollab.com/store

Because therapy isn’t weird—pretending you don’t need it is!

03/01/2026

We get caught up in the nuance of this a lot...

Trauma Survivors: Healing after trauma isn’t about blaming yourself for what you went through. Especially if you were young—it was NEVER your fault. Even if you felt powerless, your mind and body channeled their warrior spirit to help you survive. And you did. And you're here.

Now, YOU get to write your story. Being accountable in your now means you’re in charge of your healing, your growth, and how you react to triggers. Changing & healing doesn’t mean punishing yourself for the ways you survived—it means acknowledging your strength and refusing to let your past define you.

You can hold compassion for who you were, and still champion who you’re becoming. Both are true.

Ready to move forward? Let's do this.

02/27/2026

That voice in your head telling you all kinds of nasty and unkind things?
It's not yours!
It was NEVER yours!
It was theirs - but now it sounds like it's coming from you.

You can change that.

It takes conscious effort and a lot of work, but YOU are worth it!

The good news is that you can begin today with some simple questions to reframe that voice -
Then download my FREE guide, Seven Days to Radical Self-Compassion and take it further.

02/26/2026

It doesn't have to be all or nothing - in fact, being means embracing BOTH dichotomies. If you can learn to do that, you'll find the you feel better both because YOU feel better and because you also made OTHERS feel better!

02/25/2026

Every now and again, I encounter that person. The one where I can see that they don't necessarily believe what I am telling them.

These people used to be a huge, huge shame-trigger for me. I would immediately launch into all the ways I was right, working in the research I'd done or all the proof of an incident I had.

Because the benefit of the doubt had always been an elusive thing for me, being in an abusive relationship that often included implications that I "wouldn't be believed anyway" further upended my concept of self-truth. I doubted myself at least as much as others did - even when I knew I was truthful to a fault.

When I worked through those issues, I found that no more people believed me than had before I worked through them. That's just how it is. Some people are never going to believe me. The shift was in how I accepted that fact without being consumed by it any longer. I learned that when I could feel the inner confidence of my own truth, it mattered much less how others perceived my knowledge and experiences. It was incredibly freeing.

The confidence to know what you know: That's Radical Wellness

Address

Mount Pleasant, SC
29466

Website

https://radicalself.ck.page/, https://www.betterlivingcollab.com/

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when The Better Living Collaborative posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to The Better Living Collaborative:

Shortcuts

Want your practice to be the top-listed Clinic in Mount Pleasant?