The Better Living Collaborative

12/23/2025

I've decided to expand my client base while interning - offering $30 in-person or telehealth therapy sessions in South Carolina (no insurance.) With everything going on in the world, being able to offer something that is affordable and accessible is important to me. If I can support you, or someone you know, please reach out. I'd love to accompany you on your healing journey!

12/22/2025

As a doctoral student in Mental Health Counseling, I know the value of therapy.
As a DV survivor, I know the value of therapy.
As a parent, I know the value of therapy.
As a human in a world that often seems so harsh, I know the value of therapy.

I also know the stigma of the work I do - and the treatment I use. But it doesn't need to be that way. Let's normalize therapy - with a little levity 🥸

Therapy Nerd merchandise is my personal design - a playful way to start the conversation about why we can all use a little therapy from time to time. Tee's, hoodies, bags, pillowcases, and hats in a variety of fun colors and styles - with more to come. Shop the store and become an advocate today. You never know who you might empower!

betterlivingcollab.com/store

Because therapy isn’t weird—pretending you don’t need it is!

12/21/2025

We get caught up in the nuance of this a lot...

Trauma Survivors: Healing after trauma isn’t about blaming yourself for what you went through. Especially if you were young—it was NEVER your fault. Even if you felt powerless, your mind and body channeled their warrior spirit to help you survive. And you did. And you're here.

Now, YOU get to write your story. Being accountable in your now means you’re in charge of your healing, your growth, and how you react to triggers. Changing & healing doesn’t mean punishing yourself for the ways you survived—it means acknowledging your strength and refusing to let your past define you.

You can hold compassion for who you were, and still champion who you’re becoming. Both are true.

Ready to move forward? Let's do this.

12/18/2025

I have a habit of binge watching TV dramas... especially the ones about hospitals, politicians, or lawyers. It's something I was doing long before 'streaming' was an option. I just lived for those TV marathons! 📺

And, especially in those early years, I was binging those shows to transport me away from my own life. Anything to get out of my own head, away from my feelings, and forget about my situation. 🧠

Sound familiar?

There's really nothing wrong with the occasional escape - in fact, it can be a much needed respite from time-to-time. But I want to tell you - it's not helping you. Escaping is a delay-of-game and nothing more. ✨

That's why Intention Matters -
And that's never more true than when we are doing something for ourselves (whether we call it 'self-care' or not).

You must be in collaboration - in connection - with yourself. Your intentions must align with what you really need and, truth be told, what you need is never going to be to bury those feelings and escape. 🌈

Can binge-watching be self-care? Sure - but only with intention.

Eating your favorite food can be self-care - if your intention is to have a beautiful sensory experience, or to engage in nostalgic recall it certainly may be. But if it's to numb you to what is happening around you, that's just not going to work. 🍚

Like the honeybee, you have to take and give to yourself in collaboration with your own needs - to feed you, not starve you. 🐝

12/17/2025

One of the reasons I developed Radical Wellness is because I've seen this exact approach all too often. We are waiting for the trauma (for the hard thing if the word 'trauma' makes you squeamish) before we learn to deal with it.

That's a bad plan for most things - but it's especially bad for learning to deal with trauma. Here's why:

When you encounter something that causes a trauma-response (or a trigger) in you, your brain does its job and alerts the 'first responder', your amygdala. Amygdala has one job and it does it very, very well - to keep you safe. That includes shutting down or overriding much of the rest of your brain - including your frontal lobe (where the pre-frontal and frontal cortex's dealing with problem-solving, language, decision-making, regulation, etc.) live.

If you don't know how to calm and regulate this response before it happens, you aren't going to be able to manage it during, or after, the event.

Radical Wellness acknowledges that hard things are going to happen to us in life and, instead of shying away from that fact, looks at all the ways we can understand ourselves and our needs so that we have skills at-the-ready to respond to that fire.

Whether you need to learn this skill for the first time - or relearn it - to manage what's in front of you, visit me at The Better Living Collaborative and I can help!

12/17/2025

It’s okay to miss people who hurt you.
Healing is complicated—you can hold nostalgia and boundaries at the same time.
Missing someone doesn’t mean you should invite them to dinner.

12/16/2025

“Healing is creative work.”

Let your imagination help you process, rebuild, and dream—yes, even with glitter involved.
Messy art is still medicine.

12/16/2025

It's happening more and more: someone comes to me feeling helpless, or guilty, because they are so upset about the things going on in the world that it's hard to carry on.

My first question is - 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯?

As a feeling, caring human, of course you are struggling. If you've been paying attention at all, of course you are upset. It's upsetting. It's all deeply upsetting.

But I don't want you to suffer. That won't help anyone. So, after we recognize that it's absolutely okay - and in fact completely normal - to be upset by what's going on, let's look at some strategies to create a little relief.

Treat yourself extra kindly right now. A little extra sleep, a creative distraction, a little bit of nature, can all go a long way towards grounding you and give your nervous system a much-needed break.

Keep a routine if you can. Something predictable can help move you through your day. Avoid constant social media scrolling - set aside a time to look, then move on. Your body is not calibrated to take on trauma 24/7.

Taking action can feel empowering - but take the action that suits you, not someone else. Say 'no' to the other things.

Even if you're an introvert, don't isolate. Find your safe space and spend a little time there regularly.

Get support. Counselors, therapists, coaches, peer groups, etc. are all here to navigate and process these tough times with you. It's what we're for.

Be Well, friends - Be Radically Well - you are not alone.

12/15/2025

12/15/2025

Healing isn’t simple—it’s messy, intense, and sometimes downright confusing. You’ll probably ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” more than once. So, here’s the real secret: it’s not just about feeling better (though that’s pretty amazing when it happens!), it’s about becoming a force for good. Your healing creates a ripple effect, inspiring others to repair and grow, too. 🌱

Healing serves the world— and you can be the change that stops the cycle of damage.

12/14/2025

The number of times I hear 'Well, but - I'm not really sure...' after inquiring about a trauma or an abusive encounter is extraordinarily high.

Why? Because we still have this message that abusive behavior is only overt. That it is always loud, raging, physically aggressive behavior that leaves a mark. We believe s*xually abusive behavior is always a r*pe and always done brutally, usually by someone we don't know.

Those kinds of abuses certainly exist (sadly). And they are awful.

But so, too, does the kind of abuse that gaslights someone into submission and causes them to stop believing or trusting themselves. The kind that causes them to discount anything short of that overt abuse as 'okay.'

Physical, s*xual, and psychological abuses usually do not announce themselves as abuse - in fact, they are often followed up by a kindness of some sort: a text message, a small gift, a period of especially helpful or appreciative behavior... Or, they may be followed up by a justification - they were having such a bad day, or even more gaslighting - that you were just being so difficult, so unfair, or so resistant...

So the story becomes one of confusion, self-doubt, and self-blame. Then story becomes symptoms: insomnia, depression, hypervigilance, anxiety...

Let me assure that if it was really 'okay,' these would not be your responses. That's not what 'okay' feels like. So, if this is your experience, it's time to reach out for that support - you deserve to feel much better than 'okay' to begin with. And, you deserve a safe place to explore what's happened so that it doesn't continue to limit your experiences. We can't change what's happened but we can change how what's happened is affecting us.

Reach out. There's support available. And you are worth it!

12/12/2025

There's a lot of talk about 'trauma-types' - the types and definitions get expanded; the nuances of combinations and settings are discussed a lot too. But I don't see a lot of conversation about the power of trauma-types.

Trauma-types aren't bad; Your trauma-type is an automatic reaction developed by your brain to do one thing - Keep you Safe.

When your brain/body perceive something that might be dangerous/difficult, reminds you of something that was dangerous/difficult, or feels you're getting a lot of input about something dangerous/difficult, your trauma-type kicks in and does its thing: its thing is to keep you safe.

You developed your primary trauma-type around the age of 6-8. You DO have combinations of types, your reaction can be based on setting and also influenced by the perception of others needing you to keep them safe too. But that one, early, response - it's especially powerful. AND, because you've honed it for most of your life, it also comes with additional perks - strengths you and others can rely on.

For those of us with a significantly traumatic background, our work is in learning to calm the response and teach it when it really needs to engage and when it can take a break. That doesn't make the response 'bad,' just extra protective - and for good reason!

Find your trauma type and check out one of the special gifts it gave you...