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Haven Christian Counseling, 1125 Landou Lane, Mount Pleasant, SC (2026)

03/12/2026

I highly recommend this training, it is now my favorite psychotherapy modality! Brittany is an excellent instructor!

03/03/2026

Healing is a journey, not a destination!

We all want a quick cure don’t we? As Christians, we sometimes think healing means reaching a place where nothing hurts anymore, nothing triggers us, and we stop struggling. I personally own and have read more than my share of self-help books trying to cure myself. But, I have found that it can be exhausting and futile trying to “fix” yourself. Constant self-correction just reinforces the idea that you are not enough and leads to shame and a constant negative feedback loop. Self-help books can provide helpful information and good advice, but the problem is that they infer that in order to be happy we must fix ourselves. Scripture teaches that God is the source of healing, Exodus 15:26 (“I am the Lord who heals you”) and Jeremiah 17:14 (“Heal me, Lord and I will be healed”). According to God’s Word, we are all broken and need to be repaired. Believers are encouraged to go through a process called sanctification, where “God who began a good work in you, will bring it to completion.” Philippians 1:6. In sanctification(being made holy and set apart), both us and God have specific responsibilities. God is the one who does the work of making us whole and more like Christ, but we must participate by turning away from sin and obeying His Word. The Holy Spirit also is key in that we can only accomplish this in His strength and power. Christian healing isn’t about self-improvement, it is about coming into a deeper union with Christ. The more we surrender and walk with Him, the more our wounds begin to fade and growth occurs. The destination mindset says: “I should be over this.” The journey mindset says: “God is forming me through this.” I don’t think we are ever just “done” with healing. We just become more aware, quicker to repent and obey, have greater compassion, healthier boundaries and grow in our love and trust of God. What if a big part of healing is trusting and believing that you don’t have to face hard things alone?

Lord, we choose to trust in Your power, love and goodness. We surrender our pain, worries and fears into Your hands. Forgive us for the ways we have mishandled our broken places and tried to fix ourselves. You alone make us dwell in safety. You know exactly where we need to be set free. Strengthen our faith and draw us closer to You. Renew a steadfast spirit within us. Transform our hearts and minds that we may love you more deeply and trust you even when healing seems slow. Help us to run to You and rest in the shadow of Your wings. Thank you that You are able to do far more than we could ask or imagine. Thank you for Your mighty acts of love on behalf of Your children. We love You. In Jesus Name. Amen.

02/24/2026

Proverbs 23:7 reminds us, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Beliefs are our most deeply held assumptions about ourselves, the world, and others. Our core beliefs are formed before age 7. We were all born with basic needs: Love, Security, Purpose, Understanding, Self-worth and Belonging. If any of these basic needs were not met we have a deep longing for that need to be met. (Often you can figure out what needs of yours were not met by asking yourself what is most important thing you want others to feel??)

Unmet needs then drive our emotions———thoughts——-behaviors. The average person has over 60,000 thoughts a day, and of those thoughts 80 percent are automatic. Automatic means we think them unconsciously or without much effort. When thought patterns are negative, then they lead to negative feelings and distort our perception of ourselves, others and the world. This causes stress, anxiety, and depression. The latest research in neuroscience shows that thoughts are physical processes in the brain. Brain scans, for example, can reveal patterns of activity that correlate with specific thoughts or cognitive tasks. Thoughts create neural pathways, new connections between neurons, or reinforce existing pathways and connections. Positive thoughts create healthy neurons. Negative thoughts create unhealthy neurons. In other words, negative thoughts are damaging to your brain!! Persistent and repetitive negative thinking can negatively impact brain health, potentially leading to cognitive decline and increased risk of mental health conditions, heart attacks, strokes and even dementia. The good news is that the brain can be rewired through the "renewing of our mind.” Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” In the greek renewal is an action. The process of moving from old, ungodly ways of thinking to new, godly ones. We can be transformed or changed simply by changing our thoughts. Be intentional about practicing the 3R’s: Recognize, Replace, and Renew!

1. Recognize the lie
Does it align with God’s Word?
Does it bring peace or anxiety?
Would God say this about me?

2. Replace lies with truth

Lie "God has forgotten me"
Truth Isaiah 49:15-16: "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast...? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands."

3. Renew Your mind
Speak life over yourself/affirm the truth
Pray for God’s help
Cultivate gratitude to displace negativity
Encouraging one another and surround yourself with positive people

02/17/2026

Empathy vs. Responsibility

Did you know there is a difference between being empathetic versus taking responsibility for someone else’s behavior or emotions? Empathy says, “I understand and care about your pain.” Empathy does not mean fixing it, carrying it, or agreeing with everything. Taking responsibility determines what you carry. If you are a compassionate person, most likely you have blurred the lines a bit between the two. Taking responsibility for someone else can look like: emotional exhaustion, feeling guilty for things you did not do, apologizing when you did nothing wrong, staying in unhealthy dynamics and losing connection with yourself and your needs. Healthy empathy says: “I care about you. But I am not responsible for your emotions.” Without boundaries, caring can turn into emotional over-functioning. Jesus himself was very compassionate, but also did not take responsibility for people’s emotional reactions. A good example of this is when Martha tries to blame him for not caring that her sister wasn’t helping out in Luke 10:41. Galations 6:5 says, “each one should carry his own load.” You may be thinking, but what about Galatians 6:2 where it says, “help carry one another’s burdens?” I think there is a difference between supporting and helping someone, versus taking on or replacing someone else’s personal responsibility. If you’ve been an emotional caretaker for a long time, stopping will feel wrong. You may feel selfish, mean or cold. You are not. You are recalibrating. You are no longer absorbing their emotions, you are simply witnessing them.
Remind yourself, “I am only responsible for my intentions and actions. I am not responsible for someone else’s emotions.”

02/13/2026

“God never asks you to lose yourself to love others. Without boundaries, you don’t grow in love — you grow distant from the person He created you to be.”

02/03/2026

Neural Synchronicity and Prayer

Neural synchronicity refers to moments when two people’s nervous systems align, and their brain waves, emotional states, breathing rhythms, or heart rates begin to mirror each other. Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Shared attention is one of the strongest drivers of neural synchronicity. The brain is a social organ. When safety and shared focus are present, it naturally wants to sync with others. Prayer is more than a spiritual act, it uses the same neural systems involved in connection. Prayer helps your nervous system shift from threat to connection. God designed humans to co-regulate, not just self-regulate. Co-regulation is when someone else can help settle your emotional state by making you feel heard, seen, understood or loved. You see this happen when a child turns to its mother in times of distress for comfort. We are designed to respond positively to all things that reflect God’s true nature. When we are around others who are emotionally attuned, safe, loving and full of peace it activates the vagus nerve, oxytocin is released and our heart rate slows down. Being in Christian community is meant to help us regulate, not pressure or shame us. Matthew 18:20 says, “Where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.” When we worship together or pray for one another, we are not just synchronizing with each other, we are orienting towards God. We are aligning with His perfect, loving, and healing nature. So why do I feel able to regulate around some people, but not others? It is because their inner state is pulling your system into effort, vigilance, or emotional labor. Prayer doesn’t necessarily override nervous systems, but reveals them. Although, the Holy Spirit can certainly override our nerves! When both parties are fully attuned and focused on God, it is regulating. When we are being pulled into each others inner world, it becomes draining and unhealthy. As a psychotherapist, I have had to really work on staying attuned and focused on God or I become flooded with other people’s problems and emotions. We are to “cast our cares on God,”not transfer them to someone else.

02/03/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AMHBsA2xy/

01/20/2026

Why doesn’t God intervene? I am glad that others in the Bible have asked this question. In Job chapter 21, Job is having a heated discussion with his friends about how the wicked go unpunished. He is wondering why God seems to treat people unfairly. After all, isn’t God supposed to reward the good and punish the bad? Deuteronomy 32:4 says, “The Rock, His work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness without iniquity; just and upright is he.” Could it be that God’s idea of justice is beyond ours? Human justice focuses on punishing the guilty and retaliation. God’s justice seeks to restore, heal and redeem. Isaiah 55:8-9, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.” Sometimes God doesn’t intervene because he sees a bigger picture. Jeremiah the prophet also asked God this same question in Jeremiah 12:1, “Why does the way of the wicked prosper?” God responded in vs.5, “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses?” In other words, he seems to be saying that you are going to need to have better endurance for what is ahead. Maybe God loves us too much to let us settle for less than what He believes we can be? There is also the reality that some growth only happens through struggle. God often works through suffering rather than removing it, in order to help us get stronger. But most importantly, we must tell ourselves that God’s lack of intervention does not mean lack of care!! God does not leave us when we are suffering-He is present through our suffering. Satan loves to try and get us to question God’s goodness and our identity when we are going through hardship. Don’t let him! 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, “Our present troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” God is redemptive and wastes nothing. Humility and dependence on God grows in these places of pain.

Lord, you see our weariness and confusion. Some days we grow tired of trusting without seeing and hoping when circumstances don’t seem to change. Yet we know you are always good, even when life is not. Give us endurance and teach us how to lean on You. Anchor us in Your truth and remind us that this suffering is not meaningless and without purpose. Let Your Presence be our comfort when answers do not come. Fill us with courage and unwavering faith. Help us to run with the horses and go beyond our human limitations. You have the final word and I choose to trust in You! Amen.

01/13/2026

Add an Omega-3 supplement to your daily routine. Studies suggest that Omega-3 supplements can positively impact stress, anxiety, depression, sleep quality, and everyday memory in individuals with psychological distress.

01/13/2026

The word “trigger” has become a sort of buzz word these days and is being used flippantly to describe strong emotions, or things that rub people the wrong way. When it comes to mental health, being triggered means re-experiencing trauma symptoms when exposed to an internal or external cue. Clinically speaking, a trigger is when your brain registers a physical or emotional threat. Very simply, a threat is detected, your brain signals danger and your body goes into fight or flight mode overriding the prefrontal cortex where logical thinking occurs. This happens within seconds and the person being triggered has little conscious control in that moment. This happens when a painful memory or experience is “tripped" in the brain. How amazing is it that God gave us this “safety feature.” When trauma occurs big or small, this “fear center” can become overactive and mistake safe situations as threats. When traumatic experiences are not processed correctly, your nervous system’s ability to distinguish past trauma from present safety is impaired. Common triggers are feeling criticized, out of control, rejected, dismissed, abandoned, unappreciated, unsafe or misunderstood. With PTSD, triggers can be places, smells or sounds. Whenever a moment feels bigger than it should, an old wound or trauma is likely being triggered by your current situation. A really big reaction is often an indicator that the wound/trauma is really big. It is important to realize that triggers are not a sign of spiritual weakness or failure! They are indicators that something needs to be tended to or recognized. When you react to a trigger, be careful not to go straight to shame and ask yourself questions like, “Why am I like this, or What is wrong with me?” It is better to ask yourself “What am I needing in this moment or What am I feeling?” Spend some time in prayer bringing your emotions to God, and invite Him to show you what you may need to learn. For example, if you feel unsafe, remind yourself in that moment that you are safe and use a scripture like Psalm 91:1 “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Or, if you are feeling misunderstood, remind yourself that Psalm 34:17-18 says, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

01/06/2026

“Healing does not come by avoiding relational conflict, it comes when we learn to trust the repair process.”

Rupture is inevitable in relationships. A rupture can be big or small. It happens when there is a break in connection between two people. It can occur as a result of painful interactions, misunderstandings, assumptions, misattunement, or betrayal. But if handled carefully and correctly, ruptures can actually strengthen a relationship. If repair doesn’t occur, then resentment builds and the relationship deteriorates. Repair is about growth and healing cracks within the relationship. The key to its effectiveness is how well the ruptures is handled and that it is repaired. Is the rupture ignored and left to fester, or is it acknowledged and tended to? To repair the rupture, the first step is acknowledging the rupture. The second step is to pray and invite God to speak and heal! The relationship between Peter and Jesus was ruptured by Peter’s betrayal. Jesus initiated a repair by showing compassion, forgiving him, and giving him another chance. Often, the person who is more emotionally mature initiates the repair process. In this case, my guess is that Peter had so much shame around his behavior that he was unable to initiate the repair himself? I don’t think it matters who initiates, but you aren’t necessarily off the hook to be the initiator even when you are the one hurt or betrayed. Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” The next step is to see if there is a mutual willingness to work towards repair. An effective repair looks like: listening to one another(without defensiveness), accepting responsibility for your part, apology+planned behavioral change, forgiveness, clarifying expectations moving forward and rebuilding trust. If the person is willing, but is inconsistent in changing their behavior then you need to set boundaries and consider getting outside help from a pastor or therapist. If the person is not willing, refuses to stop behavior and/or take responsibility, then you may need to release or let them go. Releasing someone requires discernment, and requires following the steps mentioned in Matthew 18:15-17. Scripture commands us to forgive others when they hurt us, but it does not say we have to reconcile or stay in an emotionally harmful relationship.

Haven Christian Counseling

03/12/2026

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