Made Whole Counseling

03/29/2023

10/04/2022

Thrill, intimacy and sensuality are all important parts of a healthy relationship with your partner. Dr. Cheryl Fraser explains that when one of these is out of balance, you can end up with love and no lust, or excitement without connection.

What are ways you connect with your partner when you feel your passion triangle is out of balance?

09/30/2022

Finishing out your weekly check-in is a last chance to ensure that you've both had a chance to cover everything you'd like to address for the week. Be sure to ask questions and, when you're ready, agree to conclude the conversation.

Get all five steps of the weekly check-in with this month's Love Notes free download. The download is only available until end of day September 30! https://bit.ly/30JWG2H

09/28/2022

Drs. John and Julie Gottman are out with a new book—“The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy”—and have graciously agreed to join me on the next two episodes of “Unlocking Us.” (Bonus: Ashley, Barrett, and I will then sit down for a third episode in this series, on October 12, to break down what we’ve learned.)

Sharing a huge learning from the book about what happens when we focus on what’s wrong:

“Here’s what happens in distressed relationships, over and over: We all have needs. We all have valid desires. But we don’t say them. We drop hints. We suggest. We stay safely in the shadows. We hope our partners will ‘just know.’

“We tell ourselves a story about why they should be able to figure it out without us having to say it (‘It’s obvious! It’s just common sense!’), and we believe it. Then, when our partners fail to magically fulfill those needs, we feel resentful. We begin to believe that our partners don’t care, are thinking only about themselves, are too busy for us, or no longer value the relationship as they once did.

“And so we criticize them. ‘You always.’ ‘You never.’ These red flag phrases alert us that a couple is in shaky territory: the negative perspective might be starting to set in.

“They’re scanning for what’s wrong, and losing the capacity to notice what’s right.

“And the end result is criticism, which is when we take aim at who someone fundamentally is, instead of distinguishing between the person and the action.”

Join us for these podcasts on —they’re direct, honest, and actionable!

https://bit.ly/3CgwyPy

09/28/2022

Sharing positive needs is an important step in ensuring that you and your partner can feel more connected, loved, and supported. After you've discussed concerns or regrettable incidents, expressing a positive need helps reinforce your connection.

09/26/2022

In a weekly check-in or during everyday conversation, taking turns can help you both feel truly heard and understood. It's a pattern of conversation that can be tough if you're not used to it, so using a script can be helpful.

09/21/2022

Giving attention to your loved ones' interests, and being intentional with your questions are the antidotes to bid-busting. Certified Gottman Therapist Dr. Satira Streeter Corbitt from Ascensions Psychological shares more about bid-busting on the Gottman Relationship Blog.

09/15/2022

While it's important to talk through conflict, it's equally important to talk about what is going well in your relationship. This helps you stay connected and motivated to problem-solve.

09/12/2022

How would you describe your partner?

Highlighting your loved one's positive traits is a great way to boost the fondness and admiration in your relationship. And it's fun!

09/08/2022

“Notice what your partner is doing right. Catch your partner in the act of doing good stuff!” - Dr. John Gottman.