03/20/2026
A few weeks back I was having a conversation with a friend about being a “working mom” and all the feelings that entails. Since then, I’ve wrestled a lot with personal beliefs, cultural norms and what society says a working mom should look like. I’ve found that being a working mom sometimes feels like living in contradiction. Choose work and you’re labeled selfish. Choose to stay home and suddenly you’re not ambitious enough. Choose daycare and your priorities are questioned. Choose otherwise and you’re seen as sacrificing your career. It’s a no-win narrative written by a society that seems uncomfortable with women existing fully in more than one role.
But what does it look like when you choose both? My days don’t fit neatly into one box. They look like tummy time on the living room floor, followed by answering client emails and questions from supervisees. They look like changing diapers, picking up toys, washing pacis and then hopping onto a telehealth call after the sun goes down, stepping into my role as therapist, attending board meetings and facilitating consultations. They look like learning about wake windows, the perfect nap time and feeding schedules, while also supervising, leading, and growing a practice I’ve worked hard to build.
I love my work. I’m good at it. And I love my child with everything I have, I’m a good mom. And here’s the truth, loving my work and loving my child are not opposing forces. They coexist, often beautifully, sometimes painfully, always imperfectly. The tension comes in wanting to give fully to both. To be present, patient, and intentional at home, while also showing up grounded, focused, and capable in my career. Some days that balance feels natural; other days it feels impossible.
But maybe the goal was never perfect balance. Maybe it’s in the small, ordinary moments. The giggles as he opens his eyes every morning, the joy of watching him roll over for the first time, the breakthroughs in a therapy session, the quiet pride in building something meaningful. Maybe it’s in showing my child that a full life can hold many roles, many passions, and many kinds of love.
Being a “working mom” isn’t about getting it right by someone else’s standards. It’s about creating a life that reflects who you are, in all your complexity. It’s teaching your child responsibility, resilience and passion. Teaching yourself grace, humility and endurance. And teaching the both of you to show up fully, authentically and unapologetically, wherever you are, all in real time.
✨For more thoughts from The Oaks team visit theoakscounselinggroup.com ✨
