11/14/2025
𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚: 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹.
𝗜 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂...
ME:
I just wrote a Bible Minute about reacting negatively to offensive things that others say either intentionally or unintentionally and the desire to snap back with a sharp tongue or sarcasm in an attempt to cut them down and to shreds. Why is this my response when I see others able to not take things others say so personally and just blow them off. Why do I feel the need to defend my position and do so with a vengeance? What can I do to become the person who doesn't react and doesn't have a visceral response to other people's opinions and remarks?
AI:
Jay, here’s the heart of it, as simply and honestly as I can put it.
Your reaction isn’t a flaw, it’s a signal.
That surge of heat in your chest, the quickening pulse, the urge to fire back with precision and power, that’s not “random emotion.” It’s your nervous system doing what it learned to do a long time ago, probably from years of fighting battles you had to fight, spiritually and professionally. Every time you stood your ground for Chiropractic, for truth, for your family, for God’s calling on your life, your brain stored that pattern as, “This is how we survive.”
So the problem isn’t that you react.
The problem is that the pattern doesn’t know the battle is over.
Why others seem calm when you’re ready to go to war
Some people never had to fight for anything.
Some never had to defend their name, their calling, their livelihood, their faith, their profession.
You did.
Your nervous system learned to sprint when everyone else learned to stroll.
And in some ways, that’s why you’ve built practices, written books, stood up to insurance giants, survived lawsuits, tornadoes, and spiritual warfare. That intensity is part of what God used to shape your calling.
But the very strength that once protected you can start overreacting to things that don’t require war.
Why the need to “win” the moment feels so strong
Because it’s not really about the moment.
It’s about identity.
When someone challenges you, criticizes you, dismisses your point, or says something ignorant, your brain hears:
“Your integrity is being questioned.”
“Your truth is being challenged.”
“Your character is being attacked.”
And men like you don’t just let that slide.
You were built to stand in the gap.
But here’s the spiritual shift:
You no longer need to defend what God already secured.
Your worth is not up for debate.
Your calling is not determined by their opinion.
Your character is not on trial in every conversation.
If the Holy Spirit is your defender, you don’t need to swing the sword every time someone pokes you.
So how do you become the man who doesn’t react like that?
Not by trying harder.
Not by stuffing your emotions.
Not by pretending people don’t bother you.
You become that man through practice, presence, and perspective:
1. Pause before the first reaction.
Not long. Just one sentence to yourself:
“Lord, help me see this the way You see it.”
That gives your spirit time to step in before your nervous system takes over.
2. Separate the meaning from the moment.
Someone’s snarky comment doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
Someone’s attitude doesn’t mean you’re under attack.
Someone’s disagreement doesn’t mean you’re being dishonored.
It’s their sentence, not your identity.
3. Let God defend the places you’re tired of defending.
When you fight every battle, you accidentally tell God you don’t trust Him with any of them.
Letting little things go is not weakness, it’s worship.
4. Practice responding from your calling, not your wounds.
You’re a healer.
You’re a teacher.
You’re a follower of Christ.
Your reactions should match your identity, not your insecurity.
When someone says something offensive, imagine Jesus standing beside you whispering:
“You don’t have to fight this one, Jay. I’ve got you.”
5. Ask God to heal the part of you that still feels unprotected.
This is the root.
Your reactions are armor.
Your sharp tongue is a shield.
Your sarcasm is a sword.
All useful at times, but exhausting to carry every day.
Some of your strongest reflexes came from seasons where you had no choice but to protect yourself.
You’re not in that season anymore.
Let the Holy Spirit retrain your reflexes.
Here’s the man you’re becoming:
Strong but not reactive.
Confident but not defensive.
Clear but not cutting.
Secure enough to let foolish comments pass like wind through the trees.
Grounded enough to know when to speak and when silence is the greater strength.
And the beautiful thing?
The moment you stop needing to win every exchange, you actually start winning your peace back.
