Music City Therapy

12/06/2025

https://substack.com/?r=dmhl&utm_medium=ios

Here’s a new article on Substack. It’s actually a major revision of something I store previously. “Mystery and Grace in Difficult Times: The Gifts of Uncertainty”.

I am a psychologist who loves helping people with existential issues, questions of meaning and the problems of life.

11/30/2025

It turns out that human emotions have one volume dial. If you turn down the volume on grief and sorrow, you also turn down the volume on joy and love.

When life gets overwhelming, it may be necessary to mute or avoid your painful feelings. This is a natural human survival mechanism. Don’t blame yourself for doing what you needed to do to survive; judging yourself never leads to healing.

One way to recover joy and love is to gradually let yourself feel your unfelt feelings. If your pain or grief becomes overwhelming again, it is important to back off and take a break from them. It is wise to do this work with the guidance of a skilled therapist or someone proficient in inner work.

11/30/2025

“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”
― Carl R. Rogers, A Way of Being

11/22/2025

Consider joining us for this retreat in September:

Love is Your True Nature: An Inner Work Retreat
Facilitators: Tom Neilson, Psy.D. and Jamie Kyne, Ph.D.

September 25-27, 2026 / Friday Evening through Sunday Morning
St. Mary’s Retreat Center

Ancient wisdom traditions tell us that we have a True Nature that is spiritual or that we are formed in the image of the divine. Different traditions call it different names: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam call it Spirit or the Imago Dei, Buddhism calls it Buddha Nature, Taoism calls it the Tao, Hinduism calls it Atman and Brahman. However, all these traditions agree that we have True Nature. They also tell us that love is fundamental to our True Nature: in other words, we are love.

Unfortunately, most of us do not experience ourselves as love. We often experience ourselves as isolated, separate beings, desperately in search of love. We often experience a lack or scarcity of love in our lives. This retreat will focus on helping attendees begin to realize our True Nature as love, and to experience love more fully.

This experiential retreat will combine didactic teaching, the process of Inquiry, meditation, poetry, and heartfelt discussion. We will draw on multiple traditions, including the Diamond Approach, the Enneagram, Buddhist mindfulness, Realization Process, modern psychology and the mystical traditions of Christianity, Buddhism and Sufism.

Save the date, registration opportunities to follow from NPI!

11/20/2025

Here’s my critique of Moral Foundations Theory (MFT). MFT has been tremendously influential in both academic and popular psychology. The theory seems reasonable at first glance; however, in my opinion, it suffers from numerous shortcomings and has considerable potential to be misused. My concerns, which are outlined below, motivated me to write this critique.

A Brief Critique

05/23/2022

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a treatment that helps people heal from trauma. Repeated studies show that EMDR can help traumatized people quickly experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years.

--Photo by Amanda Dalbjorn on Unsplash

https://musiccitytherapy.com/

05/16/2022

What would it be like to look at your spouse without seeing him or her through the lens of yesterday’s argument and all the other past conflicts that are inevitable in intimate relationships?

--Photo by Bud Helisson on Unsplash

https://musiccitytherapy.com/

05/09/2022

Sometimes our mental maps of the world lead to unhappiness and psychological problems; for example, the map that defines you as flawed and inadequate can lead to depression. Therapy can help you change your mental maps.

--Photo by oxana v on Unsplash

https://musiccitytherapy.com/

05/02/2022

Mindfulness is living in the present moment without worrying about potential dangers in the future and without ruminating about the mistakes of the past. Mindfulness-based psychotherapy can help you learn how to live this way.

--Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

https://musiccitytherapy.com/

04/25/2022

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man and woman as it is—infinite. —William Blake

--Photo by David Becker on Unsplash

https://musiccitytherapy.com/

04/18/2022

To see a world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wildflower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour. —William Blake

--Photo by T..Q. on Unsplash

https://musiccitytherapy.com/

04/11/2022

There is no one more deserving of compassion than yourself. —The Buddha

--Photo by Dave Lowe on Unsplash

https://musiccitytherapy.com/