Generations Psychological & Consultation Services

03/24/2026

Publication alert! Last year, Dr. Young was given the opportunity to contribute a chapter on older adults in the book Systemic Ableism (Chp. 10). She is incredibly proud of the outcome and can’t wait to share tidbits of it with you!

Series: Human Rights: Contemporary Issues and Perspectives; Social Issues, Justice and Status BISAC: POL035010; PSY031000; SOC016000 DOI: https://doi.org/10.52305/QTWP6822

03/24/2026

Never underestimate a harmful mother’s ability to turn an entire family against her child. “My child cut the whole family off” has a much better ring to it than “I carefully built a narrative to discredit my child.”

What narrative is being spread about you?

03/11/2026

As part of our work with family dynamics, we teach families to “fight better.” Many families have unexplored conflict patterns that result in unresolved problems or on-going friction. Sometimes, people in the family perpetuate patterns of conflict that are actually abusive. That pattern may or may not be intentional depending on the level of awareness and insight each person holds.

A common acronym for abusive conflict styles is DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. When confronted about hurtful behavior, the perpetrator first denies the behavior:

“That’s not true.”
“It didn’t happen that way.”
“It’s not my fault.”

Then, they go on the attack to discredit the person:

“You will do anything to be the center of attention.”
“You’re crazy!”
“Well you did _____. What about that?”

Last, they try to flip the story so that they are the true victim and the victim is actually the offender:

“You bringing this up is really hurting me.”
“I’m a great ____, and you’re just _____.”
“I’m the one who is suffering because you’re accusing me.”

The impact of DARVO is that the recipient doubts themselves, feels alone, retraumatized, and silenced. Not everyone who engages in this tactic is aware they are doing it. It could be part of a longstanding family pattern, and no one has learned another way…yet.

For those who are DARVO victims, remember to keep interactions BIFF: brief, informative, friendly, and firm. Don’t over-explain. A lot of folks struggle to take accountability.

For those who think they might engage in DARVO behavior: taking accountability for the impact of your behavior is a difficult and brave thing to do. It is a major relationship enhancer. Work with a therapist to become more open, a better active listener, and less defensive.

02/11/2026

Generations supports the healing and recovery of all victims of sexual abuse regardless of their age. Now more than ever, it’s important to let these survivors know they are seen, heard, and not alone. We hope each of them find justice. If you are struggling, RAINN is an excellent resource to start the path to healing.

How Does RAINN Help Survivors? No matter who you are, where you’re from, or what you’ve experienced, RAINN is here for you. Join Our Community

02/06/2026

Dr. Young and Dr. Laurent are avid readers, and we love offering and receiving recommendations!

Carrie & Me by Carol Burnett is a memoir about Burnett’s relationship with her eldest daughter, who struggled with addiction and spent time in rehab. That wasn’t the end of the story, though. Burnett and her daughter were able to work through their struggles and find meaningful, honest love and connection that exists beyond Carrie’s untimely death from cancer at 37.

One of my favorite passages is a diary entry by Burnett when her daughter is in rehab. She expresses frustration at the privileges her daughter had and how disappointing it is that she is on this path. Burnett quickly checks herself, though. She acknowledges that a life in which she herself had these same privileges at Carrie’s age simply doesn’t exist. Carrie is not Carol - she has her own life and struggles.

Burnett goes on to focus on how much she loves her daughter, through divorce, moves, and new adventures. She demonstrates a judgmental attitude at times but accepts she cannot impose those beliefs and expectations on to Carrie. Check it out!

01/18/2026

Having a few drinks to ease pain and soreness?

Actually, you might be doing more harm than good. While alcohol shuts down the parts of your brain that are thinking about pain, it also brings its inflammatory properties. That can lead to lingering pain flares in the long-term.

Aside from medication, there are lots of non-pharmacological ways to manage pain: heat, ice, massage, gentle stretching and movement, guided imagery, TENS, and more!

01/15/2026

More and more our culture tries to hide that we all age. It’s a tricky balance to decide what we want to do to feel comfortable in our bodies and what we do to hide the shame we have over wrinkles and stray body hair.

Ageing is supposed to happen. Just like puberty, menopause, and other life transitions. If you are religious, think of it as part of creation.

The benefit of old age lies in the opportunity for wisdom. By growing old, perhaps you are more patient, more reflective about yourself and your behavior, or you have a sense of humor shaped by experience. We encourage older adults in our practice to lean into these qualities as they face their changing bodies.

12/29/2025

⭐️It’s almost 2026, and maybe you are thinking of re-entering the dating world this year. Here are some observations/tips for dating in your 60s, 70s, and 80s:

- There are some questions to ask yourself before you embark on this journey: If you were formerly partnered/married, what do you think went well in your previous relationship? What would you like to change about the way you behaved or handled conflict? What are you looking for in a partner? (HINT: knowing more about yourself helps you answer these questions)

- If you have adult children and grandchildren in your life, it's helpful to talk openly with them about your intentions. While you don't need their permission to date anyone, they might have sensitivities and boundaries worth knowing about ahead of time. For example, if they are grieving the loss of a parent, they might not be ready for someone to take their deceased parent's seat at holiday gatherings. Or, perhaps they only want to introduce their children to long-term partners and not every possible love interest.

- Divorced and widowed are not the same, but don't let that exclude people you would otherwise be interested in. At this stage of life, EVERYONE has baggage. Maybe your marriage was an epic love story, and you can't imagine being with a person who "failed" at it. There are plenty of people who remain in unhappy marriages until a spouse dies, and there are no medals from a higher power for doing so. Give others a chance!

- Decide how much you want age to matter. We tend to subdivide older adults into young-old (60-74), middle old (75-84), and oldest old (85+). You might find yourself in what feels like a May-December relationship with someone who is also an older adult. There are people in their 60s whose health and appearance might make them seem much older, and there are folks in their 80s who are just as spry now as ever. If you meet someone you connect with and are worried about their age, consider other factors like your compatibility and what their mortality (and yours) might mean for you.

- Everyone lies or at least conceals the truth in their online dating profile...and during first impressions in real life. Whether it's a profile picture from 15 years ago, they say they love to travel and leave out that they haven't in 5 years due to financial or physical health problems, or they leave so much information blank that you are left questioning if they really want to meet people at all, it's hard out there! Take it with a grain of salt and focus on the connection.

- Let your intentions be known to friends, family, and community. Sure, 1990s sitcoms would have us believe that "blind dates" are terrible. Your people know people, and they just might be able to set you up with a good match. Give it a try.

- Don't be so quick to cohabitate. We tend to seek a sort of equilibrium, so if you're recently widowed or divorced, being alone might feel incredibly difficult. You might find a person you really connect with, feel excited about, and declare you want to spend the rest of your life with them! Woohoo! Just wait, though. You don't have to move in or marry the person right away. If your love is really that strong, it can withstand enough separation to let life and a few fights happen first. It is much harder to move out than to move in. You might feel relieved that you waited when you find out your new partner turns into a trapped racoon during arguments.

- Even if your new partner shares similar traits to your previous partner, treat them like they are a different person. You might have known how your spouse responded to certain requests or activities, but your new partner might not act or feel the same way. The way we relate to ourselves and our partners is typically rooted in early attachment figures, and expecting our spouses and partners to reflect those figures makes up a lot of the root cause of relational conflict. Your spouse wasn't your parents, and your new partner isn't your former spouse.

- Don't let finding a romantic partner be the total endgame of your golden years. It's normal to not want to be alone, but we shouldn't let that fear keep us in a partnership that isn't right for us. Learning to be comfortable with ourselves, by ourselves, is an integral part of psychological health along with the cultivation of relationships.

Good luck ❤️

12/11/2025

Approximately 6 million older adults need long-term support services and in-home care. Immigrants make up a large portion of the workforce providing this care. Current immigration policy and practices endanger the availability of these services at a time when demand for them is high.

Changes in immigration climate affects immigrants, including those who work in the long-term health field, and is intensifying a staffing crisis in the long-term services and supports (LTSS) workforce; researchers should recognize and respond to these challenges.

12/04/2025

We’ve gotten a few questions about Oprah’s recent special on estrangement. Here’s a good breakdown of the paths parents take when handling estrangement from adult children.

https://www.facebook.com/share/1AMj3rggdS/?mibextid=wwXIft u

11/24/2025

🍁Happy Thanksgiving🍁

Generations hopes that you eat the food you enjoy while celebrating yourselves and the people you love.

Take good care of your nervous system. It’s always ok to take a moment for yourself, and you don’t have to linger around anyone’s disrespect or bad attitude.

🍂We are thankful for all of you!🍂

11/17/2025

People have to be young to get old. Don’t let someone define who you are because they foreclosed on an idea of you while you were still growing.

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1BSwB7mJUh/?mibextid=wwXIfrse