12/29/2025
⭐️It’s almost 2026, and maybe you are thinking of re-entering the dating world this year. Here are some observations/tips for dating in your 60s, 70s, and 80s:
- There are some questions to ask yourself before you embark on this journey: If you were formerly partnered/married, what do you think went well in your previous relationship? What would you like to change about the way you behaved or handled conflict? What are you looking for in a partner? (HINT: knowing more about yourself helps you answer these questions)
- If you have adult children and grandchildren in your life, it's helpful to talk openly with them about your intentions. While you don't need their permission to date anyone, they might have sensitivities and boundaries worth knowing about ahead of time. For example, if they are grieving the loss of a parent, they might not be ready for someone to take their deceased parent's seat at holiday gatherings. Or, perhaps they only want to introduce their children to long-term partners and not every possible love interest.
- Divorced and widowed are not the same, but don't let that exclude people you would otherwise be interested in. At this stage of life, EVERYONE has baggage. Maybe your marriage was an epic love story, and you can't imagine being with a person who "failed" at it. There are plenty of people who remain in unhappy marriages until a spouse dies, and there are no medals from a higher power for doing so. Give others a chance!
- Decide how much you want age to matter. We tend to subdivide older adults into young-old (60-74), middle old (75-84), and oldest old (85+). You might find yourself in what feels like a May-December relationship with someone who is also an older adult. There are people in their 60s whose health and appearance might make them seem much older, and there are folks in their 80s who are just as spry now as ever. If you meet someone you connect with and are worried about their age, consider other factors like your compatibility and what their mortality (and yours) might mean for you.
- Everyone lies or at least conceals the truth in their online dating profile...and during first impressions in real life. Whether it's a profile picture from 15 years ago, they say they love to travel and leave out that they haven't in 5 years due to financial or physical health problems, or they leave so much information blank that you are left questioning if they really want to meet people at all, it's hard out there! Take it with a grain of salt and focus on the connection.
- Let your intentions be known to friends, family, and community. Sure, 1990s sitcoms would have us believe that "blind dates" are terrible. Your people know people, and they just might be able to set you up with a good match. Give it a try.
- Don't be so quick to cohabitate. We tend to seek a sort of equilibrium, so if you're recently widowed or divorced, being alone might feel incredibly difficult. You might find a person you really connect with, feel excited about, and declare you want to spend the rest of your life with them! Woohoo! Just wait, though. You don't have to move in or marry the person right away. If your love is really that strong, it can withstand enough separation to let life and a few fights happen first. It is much harder to move out than to move in. You might feel relieved that you waited when you find out your new partner turns into a trapped racoon during arguments.
- Even if your new partner shares similar traits to your previous partner, treat them like they are a different person. You might have known how your spouse responded to certain requests or activities, but your new partner might not act or feel the same way. The way we relate to ourselves and our partners is typically rooted in early attachment figures, and expecting our spouses and partners to reflect those figures makes up a lot of the root cause of relational conflict. Your spouse wasn't your parents, and your new partner isn't your former spouse.
- Don't let finding a romantic partner be the total endgame of your golden years. It's normal to not want to be alone, but we shouldn't let that fear keep us in a partnership that isn't right for us. Learning to be comfortable with ourselves, by ourselves, is an integral part of psychological health along with the cultivation of relationships.
Good luck ❤️
