09/15/2025
When we step into something new, whether it’s a Pilates move, a new style, or a shift in identity, it’s going to feel weird and clunky at first. That’s completely normal.
As a coach, I’ve noticed how often people look outward for validation, searching for some sign that they’re measuring up, especially when something new feels weird. I’ve also noticed that the most powerful shifts happen when we learn to look inward instead.
My role is to help frame what “success” feels like, not by offering rigid standards, but by giving people a felt sense of alignment. For example, in Pilates I might tell a client the goal of a move is to feel warmth in their abdomen and no pain in their back. That becomes their internal reference point. They’re not chasing a perfect form; they’re learning what “right” feels like in their body. From that place, when they need help, they ask questions that sound more like, “Can you help me troubleshoot this?” and less like “Am I doing it right?”
Even with clear expectations, frustration and uncertainty are part of the learning process.
When things feel awkward, students will often hear me say: “It’s just weird. It’s just really hard. It’s going to feel unnatural for a while.” And then I remind them:
“You might just have to choose it every time.”
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