03/03/2022
I’ve never submitted a manuscript delivery checklist to a publisher with hearts and stars and ‘yays!’ scribbled at the top…
Until this week,
March 1, 2022.
That book deadline (and the excruciatingly long checklist) had been taunting me for quite some time.
Being able to mark those sixteen requirements off as ‘complete’ felt monumental.
Miraculously, everything was there:
title page, table of contents, introduction, all chapters, all citations, formatting, permissions…
along with some real emotions
some real relief
some real astonishment
some real satisfaction.
But there were no boxes to check for those things, so I drew them in the margins, in the shape of happy, celebratory objects.
I’ve always felt a sense of accomplishment when submitting the first draft of my past books, but this one felt most remarkable.
I mean, the last two years haven’t exactly been ideal conditions for focus, discipline, motivation, and mental stamina. Throw in a debilitating foot condition and a family crisis, and the thought of stringing 65k words together by March 1 was pretty daunting.
There were some days that I simply could not function, let alone write.
But as I was preparing to send off my completed ‘work of heart’ to my publisher, I realized something.
Never once did I say, “I can’t do this.”
What I said (a lot) was, “I can’t to this today.”
With one mere word, I avoided the dead end of self-sabotage
And rode the wave of self-compassion
until I reached home.
If you know me, then you know this posture of acceptance
This trust-the-process mindset
is a big deal for me.
I’m a real expert at saying harsh stuff to myself, like:
‘There is no time for tears! Pull yourself together.’
‘You have GOT to stay on schedule!’
‘If you don’t do this now, it will never get done.’
Lies.
All lies.
Because when it comes to doing the things you were born to do,
there is no timeline.
The energy flows when it’s supposed to flow.
The ideas appear when you’re open to receive.
The blocks get smaller when you allow yourself to breathe.
This book isn’t what I expected it to be.
It will likely mean something different to each person who reads it…
because there’s a lot of wiggle room for
growth &
grace &
goodness
that I didn’t plan for; they just came to be.
Kinda like the hearts and stars and hallelujahs that were never part of the process before
Until now…
And I’ll never go without them
for as long as I live.
© Rachel Macy Stafford 2022
Text in image: “Instead of, ‘I can’t do this.’ Try: ‘I can’t to this today.’ With one mere word, we can avoid the dead end of self-sabotage and ride the wave of self-compassion until we reach home.” -Rachel Macy Stafford
