11/11/2021
“Do whatever brings you to life, then. Follow your own fascinations, obsessions, and compulsions. Trust them. Create whatever causes a revolution in your heart.”
-Elizabeth Gilbert
Some of you know, but I made a big move this summer that really shook me up. I was ready for the change, to move a little slower than NYC life allows, but I wasn't ready for the loneliness I experienced on the other side of the move.
For the first time in a while, I struggled with my physical and mental health. I woke up feeling nauseous every morning, had no desire to work out, my appetite shrank (which isn't great for me since I'm so slender), and I missed my closer friendships in NYC. These symptoms weren't just the result of the move, but also of COVID and the effects of that isolating time.
I won't say everything has wrapped up into a nice, neat little bow, but I found my way by taking baby steps toward things, people, and activities that feel nourishing.
I let myself feel the slump, but also allowed myself to seek and follow joy...
"What sounds good to eat today? Baked Gnocchi. I'll have that. "
"What kind of movement would feel restorative to me? Slow Flows. I'll try that."
"Work is completely exhausting me. What can you eliminate? Oof, okay, I'll release that..."
Once we start getting into a flow of asking these questions of ourselves and following those small expressions of joy, we can start to hold ourselves more accountable by keeping the promises we make to ourselves and consciously working to build confidence and trust in ourselves again.
"Caffeine is making me nauseous. Let's see what happens if we ease away from it." Tricky, because not joyful in the moment, but for my joy in the long run. And P.S. -- I'm doin' it, gosh darnit!
Sometimes you have to radically slow down and meander in a non-linear manner back to yourself. And for me, it always starts with finding what sparks that little revolution in my heart. ♥️
📸 the brilliant cassiejeanco.photo
