Amy L. Fiedler

Amy L. Fiedler đŸŒ±Providing you tools + guidance for navigating your post traumatic life + relationships.
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02/16/2026

If you’re tired of understanding this pattern, but still getting pulled into it, this is exactly the kind of work I help people do. Use the link in my bio to access my courses, workbooks & services.

If you’ve ever lost touch with your own feelings, the moment someone else got upset..And found yourself trying to fix wh...
02/16/2026

If you’ve ever lost touch with your own feelings, the moment someone else got upset..

And found yourself trying to fix what was never yours to hold. You were trained to keep the peace, even at the cost of yourself.

And your work now? Relearning what is and is not your emotional responsibility. Learning that you’re allowed to stay with you, even when someone else is dysregulated.

✹If your emotional boundaries are something you’re working on, my Boundary Playbook is a great place to start. It offers you scripts, tools, and emotional clarity to help you stop abandoning yourself in the name of keeping connection. Link to download is right in my comments đŸ€

02/15/2026

Sometimes the most regulating thing is someone being willing to name what actually happened and the impact it had on you!

“How do I know when to give someone more time and when it’s time to walk away?”After trauma, it can be hard to tell the ...
02/14/2026

“How do I know when to give someone more time and when it’s time to walk away?”

After trauma, it can be hard to tell the difference between someone who is taking the steps to grow and improve and a red flag.

A lot of my clients struggle with offering too much grace. Other times they shut down or end safe relationships too quickly.

That’s why I teach my clients the 3-3-3 Strategy. This is a framework to help you set boundaries from clarity and self-trust (two things trauma survivors struggle with).

Swipe through to learn how it works âŹ†ïž

02/13/2026

It’s not all about what they’re saying - I remind my clients it’s all in what follows.

The pacing. The urgency. The pressure. Passion can exist without those - and that’s what helps you discern healthy interest vs a red flag!

Most people think they’re just “good at reading people.”But a lot of the clients who end up working with me, didn’t lear...
02/13/2026

Most people think they’re just “good at reading people.”

But a lot of the clients who end up working with me, didn’t learn to read people because it was some sort of bonus skill. They learned because it was how they stayed safe in those relationships and environments.

They learned to track tone, mood shifts, tension in the room and when someone was about to withdraw, shut down, explode, or suddenly turn cold.

Over time this just becomes automatic.
SO automatic that you can walk into a room and feel someone else’s mood before you even notice what’s happening inside of you.

And believe it or not, a pattern doesn’t just disappear because you’re in a healthier and safer relationship now.

Instead it shows up as..
đŸ«  feeling responsible for keeping conversations going smoothly
😬 monitoring others before checking in with yourself
đŸ„ș feeling your body react tone before you even process the words being spoken
😟 assuming shifts in energy mean you did something wrong

And this is honestly where most people get stuck. Because the goal isn’t to stop being perceptive and attuned to the people in your life and your surroundings.

The goal is to stop losing yourself inside that perception. Stop disconnecting from you and abandoning what you feel and think.

The work is learning how to track yourself at the same time that you are tracking other people.
Learning how to notice:
👉 what am I feeling?
👉 what do I need?
👉 what feel OK to me right now?
👉 where is my limit here?

You don’t build safety inside of yourself or in relationships by becoming less aware of other people. You build it by becoming equally aware of yourself.

That’s where self-trust gets rebuilt post-trauma.
That’s where boundaries start to actually feel possible.
That’s where relationships stop requiring self abandonment in order to work.

And that’s the foundation of the work that I do with my clients and I’ve built into all my resources - helping you rebuild internal safety so connection doesn’t cost you you.đŸ€

When someone’s mood shifts, and your stomach drops
When silence makes you spiral
When you feel responsible before anyone...
02/13/2026

When someone’s mood shifts, and your stomach drops


When silence makes you spiral

When you feel responsible before anyone says a word...

That’s your nervous system remembering a time when someone else’s emotions DID dictate your safety. Not you just being dramatic!

And even if no one’s blaming you now - your body still might.

Because when your emotional boundaries were never protected, you learned to stay safe by absorbing what others wouldn’t name.

But you don’t have to carry that pattern forward.
You can start asking yourself different questions.
You can give yourself the clarity you’ve always chased in others.

And as I remind my clients, you’re allowed to stay with you. That’s where true safety comes from!

✹ Want tools to help your body regulate in these moments in order to be able to reflect on the boundaries you need emotionally?
Download the Emotional Regulation Workshop now at the link in the comments.

02/12/2026

Self-trust doesn’t mean that you never get triggered by anyone or anything anymore.

It means you don’t immediately lose yourself or internalize and personalize how others show up in your life.

02/12/2026

A trigger that develops when being seen wasn’t safe. When being seen meant getting the wrong kind of attention or treatment.

When being seen meant you were harshly criticized, judged or shamed


You begin filtering the world through that harsh lens.

And now healing looks like practicing self-love, loving self-talk and self-compassion.
My Reclaiming Your Inner Voice course provides you the guidance and tools to do exactly that and you can learn more at the link in my comments.

It’s unsettling when your body reacts like somethings wrong even when you know it isn’t!There can be no unsafe conflict....
02/12/2026

It’s unsettling when your body reacts like somethings wrong even when you know it isn’t!

There can be no unsafe conflict. No toxic chaos.
Just calmness
 that somehow feels unsafe.đŸ« 

This is what it feels like post-trauma when your nervous system hasn’t caught up to your current (safe) reality.

It doesn’t mean you’re broken or failing at healing - which is something my clients frequently ask me. It’s a pattern your body learned to keep you safe.

And just because the environment changes
 doesn’t mean your nervous system instantly trusts it. Bc that’s NOT how trust works!

Healing is the process of showing your body, over and over again: “This moment is different.” And I teach you how through these gentle reframes like the one above, using body-based (nervous system) tools and yes, even boundaries to rebuild internal safety and trust.đŸ€

This is the part most people miss
you don’t have to wait until your body “feels safe” to start responding differently.

You start by learning how to slow the moment down, separate past from present, and gather real-time feedback instead of reacting to the prediction your nervous system is familiar with.

This is what self-trust work actually looks like in real life. You’re not talking yourself out of what you feel or forcing yourself to be calm.

You’re learning how to notice the reaction, understand what it’s trying to protect, and decide what you want to do next from the present, not the past.

Because healing isn’t becoming someone who never gets activated. That’s just not human! It’s becoming someone who knows how to work with the activation when it shows up.đŸ«‚

02/12/2026

Reassurance fades fast when your nervous system expects safety to disappear.

You don’t heal by ‘hearing’ you’re safe. You heal by experiencing safety enough times that your brain updates the prediction.

When you grew up or lived in environments where you had to constantly track other people’s moods, reactions, or behavior...
02/11/2026

When you grew up or lived in environments where you had to constantly track other people’s moods, reactions, or behavior, your nervous system learned that management = safety.

If you could anticipate them, calm them, fix things, or prevent escalation, you could stay connected, safe, in control of something.

So when you enter relationships or environments where that external chaos isn’t there anymore like the individuals I work with, your system can feel
 exposed.

They’re not used to having to sit inside their own emotions without something external to manage.

This is why safety can feel overwhelming before it feels peaceful.đŸ˜…đŸ€Ż

You’re not just adjusting to calmer relationships.
You’re also adjusting to being with yourself in a new way.

And that takes capacity building, not just awareness and understanding.

Capacity is built through:
‱ nervous system regulation skills
‱ learning internal and external boundaries
‱ practicing staying connected to yourself during discomfort
‱ learning that you don’t have to over-function to keep connection

This is the post-traumatic growth work I do - helping people build internal safety and self-trust so safe relationships don’t feel like something they have to perform or earn. AND they stop being something they sabotage or fear post trauma!

If you’re working on this right now, you’re learning a skill most people were never shown or taught.
My courses and workbooks are built to support this exact post-traumatic growth and healing process and you can explore them through the link in my bio.💜

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New York, NY

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Monday 9am - 6pm
Tuesday 9am - 6pm
Wednesday 9am - 6pm
Thursday 9am - 6pm
Friday 9am - 4:30pm

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