Jan Kwiatkowski at JDK Counseling & Wellness

12/27/2021

Less in-person interaction, lower societal empathy, and more.

12/06/2021

12/05/2021

From October we are inundated with Christmas decorations and festivities. Unfortunately this can have an adverse effect on children who struggle with change and sensory overload. The stress of it all can build up for a child. They may not react straight away and it can show up several days later as difficult behaviour. This behaviour is easy to label as "naughty" or "defiant" but this time of year can just so overwhelming that we need consider the impact on our little people. Blinking lights, glittery objects, sound making trinkets, changes in routine, these can wear down the senses over time without anyone even realizing what it was.

More information on my blog

https://www.thetherapistparent.com/post/managing-christmas-meltdowns

12/05/2021

Behavior is communication...

When it comes to behaviors that appear to be a form of acting out, particularly in children who have not yet learned regulation strategies... there is almost always an underlying condition/unmet need.

So, instead of getting frustrated/angry and being reactive... try and figure out what's causing the behavior. Then, you can help find solutions that actually work. 💞

Image credit:

11/30/2021

You don’t have to be on top of your kids to be a good mom. But if you are and prefer playing with them all day, you’re a good mom, too.⁣
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You don’t have to make everything from scratch and can feed your kids donuts for breakfast and still be a good mom. But if you do and enjoy cooking organic everything for them, you’re a good mom, too.⁣
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You don’t have to breastfeed the entire first year of motherhood to be a good mom. But if you do and both you and your child are thriving, you’re a good mom, too.⁣
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You don't have to have all your kids sleeping in their own beds. You can have 90% of your bed taken up by little bodies and still be a good mom.⁣
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Because you can feed your children junk food some days and still be a good mom.⁣
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You can need an hour to yourself and still be a good mom.⁣
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There’re many ways to be a good mom.⁣
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Because good moms have all different personalities,⁣
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they come in different shapes and sizes,⁣
⁣
they struggle with different things,⁣
⁣
and they have different ways of mothering.⁣
⁣
But if they do what they think is 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 for their family,⁣
𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘶𝘱,⁣
𝘵𝘳𝘺,⁣
and 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 with their entire heart,⁣
𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 good moms.

📸: This Mama Doodles
.....................................................⁣
My Children’s Book 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺: 𝘈𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘛𝘰𝘰 is out everywhere: https://amzn.to/317TvVc

11/17/2021

11/16/2021

Graphic Credit: Dr. Becky at Good Inside

11/12/2021

10/26/2021

Anyone who has lost a pet will tell you this. Acknowledge and allow the grief. It means you loved and were loved.

It's because they're family.

10/21/2021

Violent
Bratty
Snotty
Rude
Disrespectful
Deliberate.
Manipulative
Out of Control
Self-Centered
Impulsive
Abusive
Lazy

If you’ve ever used any of these words to describe your child, you are not alone.

In fact, 9/10 parents I work with start somewhere on this list. They’ve hit their last straw.

They are tired of the calls from school, they’ve tried all the things only to be right back where they started.

They’ve been blamed for their kids behaviors so much that they start to believe their kid is out to get them.

And I get it.

Some of this language has been passed down for generations to describe behaviors that don’t “fit” the narrative of how we believe kids should behave.

I want to introduce you to an important shift in language and narratives about behavior.

Not only will these shifts help you start to actually see change in your children but they will open up new possibilities in your relationships free from guilt, shame, blame or resentment.

These shifts, part of The Iceberg Theory and Operation Carly Simon, are responsible for helping over 300,000 parents move from constant survival mode to a connected and loving relationship with their children.

The shifts are backed by the latest in brain research (the Polyvagel theory) and attachment theory.

These aren’t just cute memes to post on your fridge.

When used consistently, these shifts can radically change the way you interact with your children, your spouse and even your co-workers.

And the best part, it doesn’t take any extra time out of your already filled and busy days. It’s a 2 second shift that you can start right now.

Which one will you try first?

10/16/2021

Good article about family systems and ultimately generational impact.

The bond between our parents is as important as their individual behaviors.

10/14/2021

Splitting can cause love-hate relationships and distort our view of our partner.