04/03/2022
Sometimes, when we are getting ready to leave or I am accounting for my children's whereabouts, there is a third soul lingering out of the corner of my eye asking for attention. Maybe my spirit baby? Maybe my uterus is bored? Maybe I’m ovulating? This article so perfectly captures the feeling of, “will there be another baby?”.
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“…And in that moment it seemed to me, much like the perpetual promise of my 20’s, that I would always be in this stage of my life. Eternally found with small chubby hands pulling at my pants, motioning to climb back inside me, to when we were one once before. But when we blew out the candles on the babies cake that dark winter night I thought to myself, all powdered sugar and empty uterus, “What the f**k do I do now?’.
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And yet still. Maybe it’s a glitch in the matrix, but every time I look at them I think oh there’s supposed to be another one. There’s one missing. Like I absentmindedly left something behind at the supermarket when I picked up our grocery order and I really just need to go back and get it, because it’s waiting for us right now, right this minute. The recipe depends upon it.” - Caroline Snider, The Wandering Eye
