Wisdom Within Counseling, LLC

11/07/2025

When Love Feels Conditional: How Narcissistic Parenting Creates Emotional Avoidance in Marriage

Is your spouse who feels emotionally distant—someone who seems to fear closeness, shuts down, or avoids intimacy even though they deeply want connection? At Wisdom Within, we see this often: underneath the surface of blame, conflict, or withdrawal lies a hidden story from childhood trauma—one of conditional love and unmet emotional needs.

📌 In our new article, we explore how growing up with a narcissistic parent whose love came only when conditions were met can shape how someone shows up in their marriage:
• When love is earned instead of freely given, the child learns that being valued = performing.
• Emotional expression, vulnerability, and genuine need become risky—and so they shrink away in adult relationships, especially when framed by the unspoken rule: “If I share my pain, I’ll lose love.”
• This dynamic often leads to the avoidant partner in couples therapy: they pull away, shut down, numbing emotional pain rather than connecting with it.
• Meanwhile, their partner feels unseen, unloved, or as if the relationship is a performance rather than a refuge.

At Wisdom Within, we believe there’s hope—change is possible when couples therapy moves beyond “stop fighting” to “let’s understand why you don’t show up”. Through our work with adults impacted by attachment trauma and narcissistic parenting, we help couples navigate toward:
✅ Recognising how early experiences infected relational patterns
✅ Naming the emotional avoidance and fear behind the disconnection
✅ Rebuilding a safe space where leaning in doesn’t mean losing love
✅ Cultivating genuine presence, curiosity and heartfelt vulnerability

For therapists and coaches: when you shift the conversation from “you’re just avoidant/withdrawn” to “you’re trying to protect your worth from a childhood wound”—you give couples language, compassion and a roadmap to healing.

👉 I invite you to read the full article and share it with someone who might benefit—whether you’re a clinician, a couple in conflict, or a partner longing for connection.

📖 Read here: https://wisdomwithinct.com/when-love-feels-conditional-how-narcissistic-parenting-creates-emotional-avoidance-in-marriage/

Let’s redefine love—not as a performance to earn—but as a refuge to return to.

Growing up, you might have learned that love wasn’t freely given — it had to be earned. Maybe, your parents only showed affection when you achieved something impressive, behaved “perfectly,” or made them look good. When love felt conditional on your performance, you likely learned early on t...

11/05/2025

When fights in your marriage feel endless and hurt runs deep, what’s really going on underneath?

When you’ve been through emotional betrayal, infidelity, or years of feeling unseen in your marriage, it can leave you feeling broken inside. You might love your spouse deeply, but still carry anger, resentment, and grief that never seem to go away.

Maybe you’ve been told to “just move on” or “let it go.” But your body remembers what your heart has endured. You may even find yourself triggered by your partner’s tone, words, or silence.

Inner child reparenting in couples therapy helps you recognize how your unmet childhood needs influence your reactions in your marriage today.

At times, you might feel like you’re walking on eggshells—trying to keep the peace while underneath you feel exhausted and alone. You might long for closeness, but the moment you reach out or try to talk it out, old wounds rise up and fights explode.

Yelling. Criticism. Slamming doors. The silent treatment.
When betrayal, addiction, or emotional neglect have touched your relationship, it’s hard to trust again.

Many couples come to Katie Ziskind, trauma specialist, when they’re exhausted from having the same painful arguments over and over. Maybe your partner shuts down, leaving you feeling abandoned. Or maybe your spouse yells, and you yell back, until both of you are in tears or silence.

What many distant couples don’t realize is that these emotional cycles often come from unhealed childhood trauma. When you grow up with a narcissistic, alcoholic, or emotionally unavailable parent, you learn early on to suppress your needs or overperform for love. In marriage, these patterns resurface—especially during moments of stress or fear of rejection.

You might wonder: Can we ever really rebuild the connection we once had?
That’s where working with Katie Ziskind can help you rebuild a strong couple bubble — a safe place to heal and reconnect.

Dive into emotional intimacy.

I just published a new post on Wisdom Within Counseling that explores how inner-child reparenting in high conflict couples therapy can be a game-changer — especially when you’re dealing with betrayal, emotional pain, or trauma in your relationship that is fueling painful cycles of disconnection.

In the article, I cover:
• Why old wounds from childhood can fuel high-conflict fights in your marriage
• How reparenting your inner child as a team (and doing this work in marriage counseling) provides a “safe place” for healing within your relationship
• Real therapeutic strategies to rebuild trust and safety together

Whether you’re a partner who’s been hurt or someone who wants to create a more emotionally secure marriage — I hope this brings insight, validation, and hope.

Read the full article here:

When you’ve been through emotional betrayal, infidelity, or years of feeling unseen in your marriage, it can leave you feeling broken inside. You might love your spouse deeply, but still carry anger, resentment, and grief that never seem to go away. Maybe you’ve been told to “just move on” o...

11/05/2025

Feeling like you’re stuck behind the curve in dating … alone … or wrestling with po*******hy or ma********on habits? You’re not the only one.

• Why many men struggle with dating and relationships even when they feel they “should be” successful
• The emotional cost of loneliness and feeling behind the curve and how it affects your self-worth and confidence
• How addiction to p**n or ma********on can be both a symptom and cause of deeper pain and loneliness rather than something to feel shameful about
• Practical counseling strategies help men gain emotional vulnerability skills to break free, heal, and build deep, intimate, meaningful connections

➡️I believe healing and growth are possible — and I hope this piece offers some hope, insight, and next steps.

➡️Full article here: https://wisdomwithinct.com/counseling-for-men-feeling-unsuccessful-in-dating-lonely-behind-the-curve-or-struggling-with-p**n-addiction-or-ma********on-addiction/

Do you imagine having a traditional life with a wife and children, but feel behind the curve? Feeling like all your friends are talking about s*x and having amazing romantic relationships, but you feel left behind? Do you feel unlovable, that you aren’t good enough to be someone’s dream partner?...

10/30/2025

https://wisdomwithinct.com/therapists-for-teens-with-adhd-in-east-lyme-connecticut/

If you’re the parent of a teenager with ADHD, you already know how exhausting, confusing, and heartbreaking it can feel to watch your child struggle. At Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, Connecticut, our team of compassionate, licensed therapists specializes in helping teens with ADHD learn emo...

09/28/2025

What a cute cafe and ice cream spot

09/12/2025

🌿 Wisdom Within Counseling – Healing starts here in Southeastern Connecticut.
🧸 Child Therapy | 👨‍👩‍👧 Family Therapy | 💑 Couples Therapy
✨ In-person sessions in Niantic, East Lyme & surrounding towns
💛 Supporting emotional growth, coping skills, & stronger connections
🌿 Wisdom Within Counseling – In-person therapy in Niantic, East Lyme & Southeastern Connecticut.
🧸 Child Therapy: Helping children build self-esteem, manage anxiety, cope with transitions, and develop healthy emotional skills.
👨‍👩‍👧 Family Therapy: Supporting families through communication challenges, conflict resolution, and stronger connections.
💑 Couples Therapy: Guiding couples to improve emotional intimacy, resolve conflicts, and rebuild trust.

✨ Compassionate, evidence-based counseling for children, families, and couples in Niantic, East Lyme, Waterford, New London, Old Lyme, Mystic, Groton, Clinton, and surrounding areas.

📅 Book your in-person session today and start your journey toward healing, connection, and growth.
📅 Book your session today – start your journey toward healing
Www.wisdomwithinCt.com

09/09/2025

✨ At Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, Connecticut, we know that children often express their feelings best through play, not words. That’s why our team specializes in play therapy—using puppets, creative art, yoga, and even animal therapy to help children process big emotions in safe, playful ways. 💛

We work with highly sensitive children, as well as children experiencing anxiety, worry, attachment struggles, nausea, food and texture sensitivities, and more. Through creative outlets, we help kids:
🌟 Build self-esteem
🌟 Learn positive coping skills
🌟 Develop lifelong calming strategies
🌟 Express big feelings in healthy ways

Whether it’s through puppets in play therapy, painting to release emotions, or child-friendly yoga for grounding, your child will discover safe and joyful ways to feel good about themselves.

If your child needs a compassionate, holistic approach, our specialized therapists are here to help. 💫
www.WisdomWithinCt.com

📍 Located in Niantic, Connecticut | 🧸 Play therapy, 🐾 animal therapy, 🎨 art & yoga therapy for kids

Serving Madison, Clinton, Westbrook, East Lyme, Mystic, Stonington, Pawcatuck, Old Lyme, Lyme, Ivoryton, East Haddam, Glastonbury, Middletown, Middlebury, Waterford, New Haven, Milford, Westport, Fairfield, and more.

09/07/2025

Meet River! River offers animal-assisted therapy for children, teens, and couples during in person counseling sessions at Wisdom Within Counseling in East Lyme, Connecticut. Animal therapy improves mood and depression, invites laughter, soothes separation anxiety, and improves empathy. Animal therapy is a powerful therapy that supports trauma recovery and PTSD recovery as well. Start at www.WisdomWithinCt.com

09/07/2025

Welcome to Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, Connecticut. Out therapists help anxious children, teens with depression, and distant couples build meaningful connection and positive coping tools. We offer out of the box therapies including art, painting, yoga, music and walk and talk therapies for lifelong coping strategies. As well, our couples therapists are Gottman level two trained to help couples overcome childhood trauma and build strength, connection, and emotional intimacy.

09/07/2025

Music during child therapy and family therapy in East Lyme, Connecticut at Wisdom Within Counseling supports emotional expression and positive coping tools. Anxiety in children needs positive outlets and music and creative art boost self-esteem. Contact us at www.WisdomWithinCt.com

08/30/2025

We love Deke’s Bagels! They are a delicious way to start your Saturday in Niantic, Connecticut.

08/22/2025

"New on the blog! 🌿 Dive into our latest insights and practical tips—click to read and get inspired today!"

Many couples have tried couples therapy before and had frustrating experiences where therapists ended session and they left helpless, angry, and in a worse place. Your marriage may be on the brink of divorce, but you are thinking that couples therapy can bring you both closer. Looking for a trauma e...