03/25/2026
So much of what young parents stress about doesn’t matter, Peter Sagal wrote in 2023. A child is a person, and what kind of person they will be is largely beyond your control. https://theatln.tc/3Vo0Kunb
Sagal was married before and has older children—three of them, all now adults. But in 2019, he and his second wife decided to start their own family together. He now has two younger children. He’s heard jokes about how his back is holding up and been mistaken for their grandfather. A man chasing a toddler almost six decades younger than him around a playground is worthy of note; as he writes, they’re supposed to have more sophisticated things to do than change diapers. But as an older dad, “I have knowledge, and I have wisdom, both of which I sorely lacked 25 years ago, when my first child was born.“
One of the lessons he has learned is not to be surprised when there are moments of stress, Sagal continues at the link in our bio. Nobody who hasn’t been a parent is prepared for how difficult it is, from the quotidian challenges of, say, putting on shoes to the later, more serious troubles, such as illness and dangerous behavior. “The first time around, I thought that a little anger, a little sternness, could be useful in managing a child. If they behaved badly, I would get angry because I wanted them to know it. But the only thing a child learns from anger is to be afraid. Respect cannot be insisted upon; it is a form of love, and love is not subject to demand,” he continues. “But the biggest advantage I have over my younger self is that I am no longer so afraid. What I worried about never came to pass, and the tragedies and losses that did arise, I never saw coming … I parent now by offering my children meals, and a haven, and hope.“
📸: Martin Parr / Magnum