11/03/2020
Its Election time and no matter which side you stand on there is a chance you will wake up to undesired results. Your candidate may have not won and you are "stuck" with the other one. Life is riddled with things, situations and even people (i.e. a boss, mother-in-law, or someone you need to network with) that aren't desirable to us. Some examples may be getting stuck in traffic, construction that makes that traffic, the annoying neighbors, or the way your partner chews their food. We want these things to change, but what can we really do about it? We could choose a different route to take, we could issue a complaint or talk to our neighbors about the issues, and point out our partners habit. Beyond that, there's not much we can do about the world around. We can either resist and fight the inevitable truths around us or find a way to live with them. That's where Radical Acceptance comes in.
Radical Acceptance is a principle from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a modern Cognitive model that focuses on mindfulness. This form of Acceptance is finding a non-judgmental, non-emotional way to make peace with some of the unpleasantness of life. In these days of COVID-19, there has been a lot that we've been asked to grin and bear, whether it's staying home, wearing masks, minimized entertainment, and/or economic impact, among others. We can try to fight these things to a degree. But ultimately if all we focus on is changing the world around us, we will suffer and endure unnecessary pain. Not only will we have the direct suffering but also get stuck frustrated on the way we think things "should" be. Should is a word, as a therapist, that i treat as a bad word for the most part. It just doesn't apply as much as we'd like. Life doesn't happen on a "should" basis but more on a "whatever could" basis.
As this election approaches, many are convinced to keep things the same or demanding change. Either way, some of us will be upset. That's ok. Radical Acceptance doesn't erase room for emotion but is more of a way of responding to them before they become toxic and overbearing. Saying, "Ugh my candidate didn't win and "this sucks but there's not much I can do", "it is what it is", "we will figure out how to make do with this" or other platitudes that hold truth and comfort if we let them. In the words of the Rolling Stones, "you can't always get what you want", but you can figure out what you truly can and can't do about it. Then you can apply whatever efforts you can to ultimately accept the results. Easier said then done but therapy can offer guidance with anyone familiar with DBT and Radical Acceptance. Never be afraid to reach out for help, something else that can be hard to accept when you could use it.
Therapy Services during COVID-19 with myself and Counselors at Taking Control Counseling are being offered in person and remotely based on preferences and availability. Feel free to ask questions!
(For more info on Radical Acceptance check out www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-mind/201207/radical-acceptance%3famp )
