Birthwork Bee

Birthwork Bee A Doula providing birth services and support to expecting families. Passionate about everything pre and postnatal, breastfeeding and wellness education

04/09/2022

After taking my first child home from the hospital, we had ALL the visitors—
my parents, in-laws, parent’s friends, cousins, and friends—
our apartment was a revolving door those first couple of days, AND it was a lot for a new mother. Still, I went along with it because I didn’t want to offend anyone.

So, through the hard, that comes with being postpartum and learning my newborn,
I had to force a smile.

But soon, I'm going to give birth for the fourth time,
and I want to let you in on a little secret that I wish someone told me the first time around,
It’s okay to say no to visitors after birth.

So, this time around,
I’m spending no energy on who wants to visit us,
or who wants to take the first picture with the baby.

Because I want our new baby to spend the first few days of her life in the arms of her siblings, my partner, and me:
to have a chance to slide our pinkies into her small newborn hand as she curls her fingers around it,
to come together as a family and marvel at tiny toes and small cries,
to let everyone feel their feelings,
to have their meltdowns and regressions,
and not have the eyes of others watching and making the transition harder for them.

This newborn isn’t here to please others,
she’s here to join OUR family.

So, if we say no, and need some time,
don’t take offense.

It’s just what’s best for OUR family right now.

📸: This Mama Doodles
....................................................⁣⁣
My Children’s Book 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺: 𝘈𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘛𝘰𝘰 is out everywhere: https://amzn.to/317TvVc

03/22/2022

I still stutter when the receptionist asks me your date of birth. The day and the month seem to scramble around in my head.

And I've no idea why. Because that date, once a day like any other, is now the only date. It screams out at me from the calendar now. A separator of lifetimes. There is only Before Casey and After Casey.

You've taken to calling me by my actual name lately. "Karen!!" you shout up the stairs, which sounds so funny from you. Your dad goes to correct you, but I wish he wouldn't. I like it. It feels like the before and the after, the old and the new are getting acquainted. Like I can be both.

Because, even three years in, I still feel like I'm playing mum when I ring your nursery school with a forced authority: "Hi. This is Casey's Mum".

And it seems more unfathomable the older you get. Walking past the playground and hearing the murmur of children, knowing that YOU are amongst them. Out there in the world. That one of those little yells belongs to me. A dizzying mix of pride, disbelief and terror.

How am I somebody's mum? But also, how did I ever not know you?

Art: Ellen Marcellis ( on Instagram)

Words: Karen McMillan (Mother Truths)
From "Warm Like Summer: Little Stories of Early Motherhood"
Available to buy here: https://linktr.ee/mother_truths

New blog post is up! A Suspected Big Baby...
03/10/2022

New blog post is up! A Suspected Big Baby...

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03/07/2022

My new blog posts are up!
birthworkbee.com

02/05/2022
11/30/2021

I want to be the Bee that the Birthwork community needs and help the birthing person in and out of their time of GREAT TRANSITION!

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North Bangor, NY
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