01/31/2022
Secrets of a Health & Lifestyle Coach
The other day I was coaching a virtual audience. I've done this many times and have mastered screen-mirroring handouts to a large T.V. behind me. Midway through a groundbreaking lesson, Days of Our Lives came on (concert level sound), hijacking an Effects of Chronic Stress and Inflammation illustration. I pressed every button within reach, trying to hide a shirtless Eli Grant–I googled. The screen finally went black. I turned back to my audience, smiled, waited for the video delay to catch up then blamed the incident on an evil spirit. Eli appeared two more times before the end of my session.
Yesterday I was a part of a Zoom lunch for women in business. I had offered to share some wellness tips, something I have done many times. With seconds to spare, my notes wouldn't print, I couldn't find the Zoom link, and a glance in the mirror revealed the shiny, gold, under-eye patches I had forgotten. Finally, mentally disheveled and unprepared, I joined the group of highly accomplished women, thinking I'd read my notes from another computer nearby. Unsuccessful–surprise–my mouth shriveled, causing my tongue to clack in Morse code. One painful letter at a time. I'd never work in this town again.
I'm sure suggesting I quit my day job crossed a few minds. Karaoke, Mikala? Unicycling? Especially after pridefully volunteering my expertise with, "I'll share wellness tips, but it won't be the same ol' same ol'!" Well, no kidding! Oh, and I'll be asking us to consider Days of Our Lives as the metaphor for the twenty-first-century woman's struggle for self-care. Anyone?
I'm not quitting my day job.