The Talk Doctor

02/14/2023

Some of you know and love the old fashion candy dispenser I have in my office. It is currently full of Skittles. I will work to find a red dye #40 free alternative that will still be able to find it's way out. Ideas appreciated!

Red dye 40 effects ADHD in children and adults. Learn which foods to avoid and see a real SPECT scan of a child's brain after exposure to red dye 40.

10/11/2022

This information has been a game changer for me as a parent AND psychologist. In my opinion, hes-extraordinary.com puts what I have been seeing and reacting to intuitively into words. Hopefully, it doesn't jeopardize my job security!

A look at ADHD and RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria), the connection between the two, and how to help children struggling with RSD.

05/12/2022

ADVERSITY PRACTICE

It is really hard NOT to take our children’s decisions and performance personally.

Starting at birth, the messages we constantly send back to them about how they are handling their independence are powerful.

Resilience is built by handling mistakes well, NOT by avoiding them. Our words and body language have the potential to build up or tear down.

This post by is helpful in remembering what builds our kids up through HEALTHY ADVERSITY.

Here we are....the end of the school year.

Is your child walking away feeling strong or feeling shaky?

Often, this depends on what letter has been placed upon their heads.

A letter of the alphabet that labels them either a hard worker, or lazy.

You may not have used those words, but the anxiety, that comes across your face when you see "C", "D", or "F" says it all.

Our children are tuned in to our subconscious feelings.

We believe that success is the recipe for happiness.

We let the system define success for us.

We spend time investing in "doing", so that they will reach success and our anxiety will subside.

If they get all "A's" or "B's"...clearly I am a good parent.
If they get into college...I have done my job well.
If they receive an award...they are headed for greatness .

What does greatness include again exactly?

Oh yes....success.

We could try teaching our children they are valuable whether they are "doing" or "being."

We could give them a "time in" when needed.
We could spend time getting to know their authentic self.
We could pour into their core values of what is actually important in life.
We could get more defined on what "success" means.

We could...with just a few words, remind them of who they were born to be.

We could...with just a few words, restore their belief in themselves.

We could, with just a few words, accept them for exactly who they are today, without convincing them this is who they will be forever...."if they don't turn things around."

We could, with just a few words, remind them that their life does not hang on this one grade.

We could, with just a few words, rebuild, restore and relate.

We could remind them of WHO they are and that no letter is going to dictate the rest of their lives.

Or, we could let them rise or fall on the letters they receive as a child.

YOU have the power to believe in your child.
YOU have the ability to help them soar or fall.
YOU have the compassion to lend.
YOU have the foresight to know that "success" doesn't buy joy.

YOU have the duty to meet their eyes with pure acceptance when they get in that car today.

YOU have everything you need inside of you to deliver a message
of strength to them.

"You are stronger and more resilient than you believe."

Can you imagine if your parent had said these words to you in a moment that felt like failure?

Can you imagine facing your parent with an "F" and instead of disappointment, they met you with belief?

Belief is more powerful than doubt.
Belief leaves dissapointment reeling.
Belief holds inside of it a lifetime of resilience.

You can do this.
You can.



PS. I am offering tween and teen online mindfulness groups for this summer. These are self paced videos with skill sheets and guided practice. A foundation of mindfulness helps with focus, confidence, adversity and more. Go to www.kerryforeman.com and click Inner Circles...then choose tween or teen for your child.

05/03/2022

Down time is so important. Good parents want to make sure their kids are being good humans. Sometimes, what our kids need most is for us to let them be…….

Let them be.

When my kids were small, and I would catch them relaxing....I would snuggle up beside them and pour as much love as they would allow on to them.

As they have grown, I've noticed a change.

When they are relaxing....I begin to run through a check list in my mind....

Have you done your homework?
Have you practiced your song for choir?
Have you packed your lunch for tomorrow?

Breathe.

Let them be.

Our kids need down time.
Our kids need to pause.
Our kids need a mindful moment.

Resist doing to our children what we have allowed society to do to us.

Society has convinced us that busy is good and down time is a waste.

We know better, and we are still caught in a pattern of judging down time.

This is when our mindfulness practice shines.

Notice the checklist.
Accept that society has conditioned us.
Dismiss the need to create "busy" for your kids.
Return to the moment.

Give your child a quick hug....and walk away.

Let them BE.
Let them BREATHE.
Let them PAUSE.

Be the parent you wish to be......by noticing your own inner state of being when triggered by your child's need for down time.

You can do this.
You can.



PS. If you”re looking to teach your tweens and teens basic mindfulness skills this summer….I am running self paced groups, with skill sheets and meditations. Available on www.kerryforeman.com click “inner circles” then Teen. ❤️

03/29/2022

Always great when someone else delivers the same message in a different way!

03/22/2022

Adam Grant is a recent find. He has inspirational words about living a kind and common sense life while standing up for yourself, if necessary.

03/15/2022

Kids continue to hurt. Conscious parenting helps!

Get Grounded

03/01/2021

This article addresses several issues I try to address regularly.... maybe a little more tactfully. Take a look at number seven. Screen time has become even more of a difficulty for parents during COVID. My suggestion is to find something that is even better than screen time, and then do it with your kids. Even teens may play a game, go for a walk, or help give their room a make over. If there is nothing better to do, they will default to screens. Setting limits for personal screen time AND school screen time is a delicate balance for parents, but enlisting kids to help find a compromise helps.

Raising children has always been a challenge. Parenting in the age of COVID has made everything harder. How can you know if you’re doing it right or getting it all wrong?

02/25/2021

Many of those who see me in my office know how much I believe in the correlation between what kids eat and behavior. This foundation is a great place for an explanation about the brain/gut connection and how to improve health and behavior for longevity!

Find out why following a low GI diet is so good for you. It is an easy way to ensure you are ticking the healthy eating box.

01/22/2021

As I see so many families struggling right now with isolation and significant feelings of hopelessness and depression, I struggle myself to stay positive and use the tools that I know work. This article is such a great reminder for me to keep going. We will make it! If you know or see a mental health worker, please reach out to them. Check in just to let them know you are thinking about them. I am not trying to be self serving. I have an amazing support system, but some mental health workers are themselves isolated right now. It is difficult even with a great support system. Let's keep mental health workers healthy as we all make it through these difficult times.

Most people are dealing with serious problems right now. Here are 10 helpful ways to overcome adversity and turn obstacles into opportunities.

09/24/2020

I have had many families experience the joy and benefits of COVID pets. Coping with the loss of a pet, though difficult, is what I call grief practice. Unfortunately, we will all experience the emotional toll after the death of a loved one. Practicing and understanding good grief is important in building resiliency for future traumatic events.

The loss of a pet may be a child's first encounter with death, and new research suggests no one should underestimate the psychological trauma that the loss can bring.