Tricia Ryan Counseling PLLC

Tricia Ryan Counseling PLLC My practice provides telehealth counseling sessions for adult clients located in Connecticut and DC. Social media posts and comments are not confidential.

Please note: This page is for informational purposes only, and is not monitored for client communications. Call or text 988 for urgent mental health assistance, or call 911 for emergencies.

When the fear of uncertainty has lived in you for so long, control starts to feel like safety.You over-plan. You over-ex...
11/11/2025

When the fear of uncertainty has lived in you for so long, control starts to feel like safety.

You over-plan. You over-explain. You over-schedule. You hold everything together, (not because you want to, but because something in you believes it’s the only way to stay safe).

But control is a fragile kind of safety. It keeps your nervous system on high alert, always scanning for what might fall apart next.

Real steadiness begins when you start to feel safe inside your body. When you can let a moment be uncertain and still know you’re okay. That you’re enough, just as you are.

When you notice yourself spinning, (planning, fixing, over-explaining), try this:

🧘🏽‍♀️The 5% Release:

It’s a micro-practice from somatic regulation work that teaches your body what it feels like to not grip for control.

Here’s how:

1. Bring your attention to one place you can sense subtle tension— your jaw, shoulders, stomach, or even your hands.

2. Without forcing it, invite just a 5% release. Not a full relax, just a tiny bit less.

3. Notice what changes: your breath, your posture, your heartbeat?

4. Then pause and let your body register: Nothing bad happened when I let go a little.

Over time, your nervous system starts to learn safety in micro doses of surrender. This is the kind of real safety that doesn’t depend on overdoing.

📍Save this for the days when your mind won’t stop spinning, and follow for more ways to find calm that doesn’t depend on control. 🌿

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQ6-RcAkWZK/?igsh=N3MyNHRrcnlhNXZz

08/03/2025

You’ve read the books. Listened to the podcasts. Analyzed it all from every angle.

But overthinking isn’t healing. It feels productive, but it’s exactly what’s keeping you stuck.

🧘🏽‍♀️Sometimes the only way forward is doing…before you believe it, feel it, or trust it.

As a therapist, I understand the importance of verbal processing. Here’s the catch: Cognitive insight is incredibly valuable, but it isn’t always sufficient for lasting change.

When you’re stuck in patterns shaped by chronic anxiety, shame, or early emotional neglect, over-relying on thinking can reinforce avoidance and keep the nervous system dysregulated.

📖 Research on behavioral activation, exposure therapy, and DBT’s principle of opposite action all point to the same core truth: sustained change often begins with behavior.

🕊️You don’t have to *feel* ready in order for your actions to make a big difference. It’s a way of creating new neural pathways through experience, not just analysis.

You don’t have to feel confident or fully convinced first. You just need to take one small step in alignment with the version of you that you’re working toward becoming.

🌱Long story short, authentic healing takes more than just insight. Follow for real tools to get real change.

07/21/2025

Is this your favorite time of year, or do you notice yourself struggling more than usual?

Summer can be overstimulating, dysregulating, and weirdly lonely.

Summer tends to get labeled as the “happy season.” Long days, social plans, more time outside. And for some, that’s energizing.

But if this season leaves you feeling more anxious, dysregulated, or emotionally off, you aren’t alone.

➡️ Here’s what your nervous system might be reacting to:

1️⃣ Social overload. Cookouts, travel, family time… it’s a lot of stimulation, especially if you’re someone who needs more recovery time between interactions. Social anxiety or old family dynamics can quietly flare in these moments.

2️⃣ Chronic heat stress. Research shows extreme heat impacts mood, sleep quality, and cognitive function, (especially for parents, caregivers, or those working outside.)

3️⃣ Climate grief. More of my clients are naming a quiet sense of dread around extreme weather. Grief and helplessness in the face of climate change aren’t irrational; they’re valid nervous system responses to existential threat.

4️⃣ Body image vulnerability. Wearing less clothing in hot weather can amplify discomfort if you’re healing from body shame, disordered eating, or CPTSD rooted in appearance-based value.

☀️You don’t have to love summer. You don’t even have to enjoy it. But it is worth noticing how your body and brain are responding, and offering yourself some softness and structure in return.

If any of this resonates, here’s something simple to try:

✋🏽Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
❤️‍🩹Gently name what’s here: “Overwhelmed,” “tight,” “sad,” “wired.”
🧘🏽‍♀️Breathe into the space under your hands for three slow cycles.
🙏🏽Let your body know, “You don’t have to push through. You get to slow down.”

🌱This season is temporary. Your needs aren’t. Follow for more grounded mental health tools and education.

07/20/2025

👇🏽Let’s talk about the word “codependent.”

It gets thrown around so much that it’s lost its nuance, and for many women, it quietly reinforces shame.

Yes, there is a clinical pattern where someone’s identity becomes fully organized around another person’s needs. That’s real.

But for most people I work with, what’s being called “codependency” is something else:

A nervous system that’s been shaped around early emotional neglect. Over time, their hyper-attunement toward others’ needs developed for their own survival. They have a brain wired for connection by interpreting disconnection as danger.

Sound familiar?

You’re not broken for feeling deeply impacted by someone else’s moods or behavior. You’re adaptive.
And there’s nothing shameful about that.

If you’ve learned to overfunction, overgive, or override your needs, let’s talk about the reasons why… and not just slap a label on it.

This isn’t about defending dysfunction. It’s about understanding your wiring and gently retraining it with tools that actually support your healing.

🌱Talk to your therapist. Get curious. There’s more here than just a buzzword.

07/15/2025

Does this sound like you?

▫️You freeze when someone gets too close

▫️You sabotage when things go well

▫️You pick partners who need “fixing”

▫️You overthink every text you send

▫️You don’t feel safe resting

Your body might be stuck in a version of the past it thinks is still happening.

That’s not dysfunction; it’s protection.

But protection isn’t the same as peace. And safety doesn’t always feel safe at first.

🙏🏽This is what real nervous system healing actually looks like: slow, layered, and deeply personal.

If you reread every text five times before hitting send, or if you can’t relax, (even when you really want to!) because rest feels unsafe, please know that none of these behaviors are random. They’re adaptations. They are protective strategies your body and brain wired to help you survive chaos, disconnection, or emotional neglect.

At one point, these adaptations worked! They kept you safe. But now they’re keeping you stuck. Small. Disconnected from the life and love you actually want.

This is what nervous system dysregulation feels like in real life. Not dramatic or obvious. Just quiet patterns that whisper: “Don’t get too close. Don’t let go. Don’t need too much.”

❤️‍🩹And the true self you’re reclaiming? She’s worth every moment of discomfort. She always has been.

🌱If you’re ready to understand your patterns through a trauma-informed lens, follow for grounded, compassionate tools that meet you where you are, or contact me through my website to arrange a free consultation call.

07/04/2025

Have you ever considered that maybe you’re not actually “too sensitive”?

That maybe you’re not overreacting when you’ve been told that you were?

You might be carrying unprocessed survival responses from times when speaking up wasn’t safe.

What looks like an overreaction is often a correctly scaled response. It was just stored too long, in too tight a container.

When your body floods with emotion during small conflicts, it’s not immaturity. It’s cumulative grief.

Grief for the moments you swallowed your voice to keep the peace.

Grief for the parts of you that learned silence was safer than truth.

In trauma science, this is called latent activation. It’s your nervous system replaying a pattern it was forced to normalize.

It makes sense. And it’s possible to heal. Not by shaming the reaction, but by listening to what it’s trying to protect.

➡️ The next time you feel like you’re “overreacting,” try this:

Ground Through Contact

✋🏽Place one hand on your chest, the other on your belly. Press in gently.

Let your body feel that you’re here now. That you’re safe. That you’re listening.

🧘🏽‍♀️Breathe into that contact for 60 seconds.

You’re not trying to fix the feeling, just offer it a place to land.

🧠This simple act helps regulate the vagus nerve, which plays a key role in calming the fight-flight response.

It signals to your system: We’re not back there anymore.

🌱If this resonates, follow for more trauma-informed tools, nervous system science, and reminders that you’re not overreacting. You’re remembering. 🫶🏽

07/04/2025

🔽 You might look “put together,” but your nervous system tells a different story…

⁣High-functioning anxiety often hides behind achievement, perfectionism, and chronic caretaking.

This is especially true for women who had to stay hyper-aware growing up in emotionally unpredictable environments.⁣

⁣You learned to read the room before you read yourself. You minimized your needs to keep the peace. You kept moving so no one could see how overwhelmed you felt.⁣

⁣This isn’t just personality. It’s protection. And it makes sense.⁣

❤️‍🩹 I help clients gently uncover where those patterns began and why they’ve been so hard to let go of, (particularly when those patterns no longer serve them). In therapy, it’s possible to rebuild your connection to safety, trust, and self-worth from the inside out.

⁣You don’t have to keep holding it all together at the expense of your happiness and authenticity. There’s another way, and it doesn’t require you to work harder; just to soften toward yourself.

If any of this feels familiar, follow for more real talk on how nervous system healing can feel when you’ve lived most of your life in overdrive.

You don’t have to untangle this alone. Save this for when you need the reminder. 🌱

07/04/2025

As a licensed counselor, I’m deeply disturbed by the passage of H.R. 1.

Medicaid is the largest funder of mental health and substance use care in the United States. Gutting it under the guise of a “big beautiful bill” isn’t fiscal responsibility. It’s cruelty.

I’ve sat with so many clients who only got help because Medicaid made it possible. I’ve seen what happens when care is delayed, denied, or out of reach. This bill will push millions off coverage, including children and vulnerable adults already struggling to survive. That is not reform. That is abandonment.

I stand firmly against H.R. 1.

I stand with my clients.

And I stand for a future where mental health care is not a luxury, but a human right.

06/18/2025

⬇️ Ruminating is exhausting. Save these tips to get out of a spiral.

If your mind won’t stop spinning, even when you know the overthinking isn’t helping, you’re not alone.

So many of my clients say:

“I know it’s irrational… but I can’t stop overthinking.”

That’s not a mindset problem. It’s a nervous system stuck in survival mode.

If you grew up with emotional neglect, unpredictable dynamics, or attachment trauma, your brain may have learned that ruminating is safer than resting.

Overthinking becomes a way to try to stay ahead of rejection, disappointment, or danger. But the truth is: insight alone doesn’t stop the spiral. You need tools that help your body feel safe.

⭐️Here are 3 of my favorites:

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Orienting with a Somatic Twist

Instead of just listing 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, etc., pause with each one. Feel the texture, the temperature, or the color with your body, not just your brain.

🧠 Why it works: Engaging your senses brings your prefrontal cortex back online and helps your nervous system recognize you’re not in danger anymore.

2. Extended Exhale Breathing (4-4-8)

Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, exhale slowly for 8. The extended exhale stimulates the vagus nerve and helps regulate your fight-or-flight response.

🧠 Why it works: Long exhales signal safety to your brain, shifting you into parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) mode.

3. EFT Tapping on the Side of the Hand

While gently tapping the outer edge of your hand, try saying:

“Even though my thoughts are racing, I’m allowed to slow down. I’m safe to pause right now.”

🧠 Why it works: Tapping lowers cortisol, calms the amygdala, and allows your body to release tension while staying present with the truth of how you feel.

You don’t have to silence your thoughts. You just need to show your body it’s finally safe to stop scanning for danger.

✨ Follow for more tools to regulate your nervous system, untangle trauma patterns, and finally feel safe in your own mind.

06/15/2025

Father’s Day…

❤️‍🩹This post is for the ones who are still healing. The ones who struggle to find a greeting card on Father’s Day that captures the complex experience they had (and maybe still have) with their dads. Those who have lost fathers or yearn to become fathers. The adult children who had grow up too soon because of dynamics with their dads, whether present or absent. The ones who felt invisible unless they were performing, pleasing, or perfect in their father’s eyes.

If you grew up with a dad who was distant, critical, or inconsistent, those old survival patterns might still be playing out in your relationships, your self-worth, and your nervous system.

If today brings grief, numbness, guilt, or anger, it’s okay to feel it all.

And it’s okay to protect your peace.

👤 Here’s a somatic grounding practice you can use to integrate difficult Father’s Day emotions:

✋🏽 Step 1: Place one hand on your heart, and the other on your belly.

This creates a container for safety, as your body begins to recognize you as a steady, compassionate presence.

🧘🏽‍♀️ Step 2: Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts. Hold for 2. Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6–8 counts (like blowing out a candle). Repeat for 3–5 breaths.

💬 Step 3: Gently say to yourself (aloud or silently):

“I’m allowed to feel this.”
“I’m not alone in this feeling.”
“It’s safe to take up space today.”

✨ Optional: As you breathe, let your body subtly sway, rock, or hum.

These small movements regulate the vagus nerve and signal safety to your nervous system.

🧠 Why it works:

This posture offers co-regulation from within. If you didn’t receive consistent soothing from a caregiver, especially a father, your nervous system didn’t learn how to come back down from stress. This practice helps you rebuild that internal safety, creating the foundation for emotional integration.

🌱Follow for more nervous system education and healing tools from a licensed therapist.

06/08/2025

❤️‍🩹 You’re not “too sensitive.”

You’re not asking for too much.

That thing you keep bringing up in your relationship— (how they don’t initiate, how they dismiss your feelings, how they leave you carrying the emotional weight) isn’t just a complaint. It’s a signal.

A signal from the part of you that’s craving to feel secure, seen, emotionally safe.

In relationships, we often point to what our partner isn’t doing. But what we’re really saying is:

“This is where I need to feel held.”

When you slow down and listen beneath the complaint, you’ll often find:

✔ A long-ignored need

✔ A pattern you’ve carried from childhood

✔ A belief that you’re hard to love unless you perform, over-function, or earn it

➡️ I want to be clear that I’m not talking about abusive relationships here, and this definitely isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness, so you can stop fighting your partner and start understanding yourself.

Reflect on this question in the next week:

💬 What’s one complaint you have about your partner that might be revealing a deeper need within you?

This is just the beginning of the conversation. Follow along for more. 🌱

06/07/2025

🔻These coping skills take literally one minute.

When your mind is racing, your chest is tight, or you’re stuck in overthinking mode, you don’t need an elaborate routine.

You need a reset.

Nervous system regulation isn’t about perfection. It’s about finding tiny ways to signal safety to a body that’s stuck in survival mode.

Here are 5 nervous system tools that take less than 60 seconds, (and don’t require a mat, music, or mood lighting):

🌀 Two full exhales.

Breathe out longer than you breathe in. Do this twice. Your vagus nerve gets the message: we’re safe enough to soften.

🪑 Feel the support beneath you.

Drop your awareness to the parts of your body in contact with your chair, the ground, or your clothes. Let yourself lean into that support.

👀 Find one still thing.

Look around and name something calm, still, or neutral. This gently reorients your brain away from threat scanning.

🤲 Hand on heart. Then belly.

Hold each for a few seconds. Feel your warmth. This self-contact lowers cortisol and reminds your body it’s not alone.

🗣 Whisper: “Right now, I’m safe enough.”

Not perfectly safe. Just safe enough. That distinction makes it land deeper.

You don’t have to fix your dysregulation. You can meet it differently.

Follow for more nervous system tools that actually work for overwhelmed women who are tired of always holding it together.

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Norwalk, CT
06851

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

+12026887143

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