Sunday Morning Café

02/01/2026

“So Tom, given the dysfunction in your family — given the abusive nature of your dad toward you growing up — what makes you think you could be a good husband or father?”
– a question Lisa asked me when we were dating 😳

Here's what I've learned: the wound you don’t transform, you transmit. But a wound that’s been faced can become a gift, even a source of healing.

☕ This week’s reflection is a video, and it explores how self-work, therapy, and honest reflection matter deeply when choosing a life partner. Watch it here: https://www.tomwagnerspeaker.com/post/why-you-do-not-have-to-marry-the-wrong-person

01/29/2026

There’s something about a good space that creates community and shapes a good conversation.

Over the past few months, Sunday Morning Café has gathered in places that feel rooted, warm, and deeply local:

☕ Telva at the Ridge, recently named one of Yelp’s Top 100 Restaurants in the country.
🍷 Parker's Table at Oakland & Yale, one of those local spots you leave already planning your next visit.
📚 And next, on 2/15, a gathering nestled into the Hogwarts-like warmth of Schroer Commons at Eden Theological Seminary.

From neighborhood gems to nationally recognized venues to cozy spaces that feel quietly enchanted — Sunday Morning Café is as much about where we gather as why.

These places help us discover local favorites, support our community, and meet neighbors we might not have known otherwise

That’s the heart of Sunday Morning Café.

On 2/15, we’ll gather again for our February Sunday Morning Cafe Event — not just for a conversation about relationships, but to sit together in a space that feels set apart from the ordinary, and discover (yet another) local place worth returning to.

🎟 Join us. Tickets in the comments.

01/28/2026

What if grace is given in ‘just enough’ doses, over years, to shape a life?

This week’s reflection explores how marriage and commitment form patience, courage, and love.

📷: The first photo was taken in the hospital room the night that Annalise was born. I made the room into a restaurant. Annalise is off camera, but in her bassinet.
The second captures Annalise and her husband, Matt, on their wedding day.

Link to the full article is in the comments. ☕

01/25/2026

Some problems in marriage are meant to be solved. Others are meant to solve us.

In this week’s Sunday Morning Café reflection, I explore the idea of marriage as a people-growing machine—a long, demanding process that presses us up against the limits of our patience, love, and courage.

☕ Read the full article here: https://www.tomwagnerspeaker.com/post/marriage-a-people-growing-machine

P.s. Enjoy this early photo of Lisa and me, pregnant with our first child, Annalise—followed by a photo of us at Annalise’s wedding.

01/21/2026

Congratulations, Telva at the Ridge! We have been honored to host a number of our Sunday Morning Cafe events there, and it was just recognized as one of the top 100 restaurants in the country!

‼️ Four St. Louis restaurants just made the Yelp list of the 100 best restaurants in the country in 2026, and Telva at the Ridge is one of them. 👏 Find out the others below. ⬇️

01/21/2026

A pearl forms because of an irritant, a grain of sand the oyster can’t remove.

🦪 Over time, layer by layer, the oyster coats what bothers it most until something beautiful slowly takes shape. No irritant, no pearl.

The moral of the story?

Good enough marriages don’t grow despite their flaws — they grow through them. It’s the flaw in the good enough marriage that, over time, can grow more patience, humor, and largesse in each spouse.

☕ Read more in this week's article — link in comments.

01/20/2026

Don't miss this: a deeper kind of date night for couples in St. Louis.

This Valentine's Day, nurture what matters most. On the evening of Feb. 15, come connect with other couples as we explore common topics from my relationship enrichment workshops and counseling.

Our gathering will be nestled into a very warm Hogwarts-like setting at the Schroer Commons at Eden Theological Seminary in Webster Groves. We'll share food and drink, music, reflection, laughter, and rich small- and large-group conversations.

Get your tickets using the link in the comments 🥂

01/19/2026

SMC community — thank you for an amazing year! I am grateful for each and every one of you.

☕ Grab your ticket for 2026 events: https://www.tomwagnerspeaker.com/events

☕ Donate to bring SMC to more people: https://gofund.me/6744e325e

☕ Email me and my team to share ideas for partnership in 2026: contact@tomwagnerspeaker.com

Here’s to another year of gathering, connecting, and discovering that what is deepest within us is most universal between us.

01/18/2026

What if the most resilient marriages aren’t built on perfection, but on learning how to live faithfully with what’s good enough?

In my Sunday Morning Café article this week, I reflect on how the pursuit of “the best” can quietly undermine the most important work of our lives—especially marriage. Drawing on decades of clinical experience, I explore why acceptance, meaning, and shared purpose do more to sustain love and joy than striving for perfection.

☕ Explore the reflection here: https://www.tomwagnerspeaker.com/post/in-praise-of-the-good-enough

01/14/2026

Got Valentine's Day (after) plans?

On Feb. 15, we will gather for an evening of meaningful conversation and soul-soothing music from the great singer-songwriter Lynn O'Brien. Wine and hearty appetizers are included.

Topic: Whole-Hearted Relationships: Finding 'em, keeping 'em & strengthening 'em.

📅 When? Sunday, Feb. 15 from 4 – 6 PM

📍 Where? Schroer Commons at Eden Theological Seminary in Webster Groves MO

💚 What? I (Dr. Tom Wagner) will facilitate a lively conversation and share my own research-based tools, based on my 30+ years of experience as a marriage & family therapist. This is the perfect Valentine’s Day (after) outing for couples.

💲 How much? $25 per person [students or under 25 years old - $10]

I would love for you to join us. Events sell out, so don’t delay. Purchase tickets in advance using the link in the comments.

01/14/2026

There are moments when life insists that you slow down and ponder what you carry in your heart.

If your life feels slower, thinner, or quieter than you expected this winter, this Sunday Morning Café reflection invites you to linger there — and listen for what may be forming beneath the surface.
...
☕ What do you tend to do with melancholic feelings?
☕ Is there anything in your life right now that feels a little “dark night-ish” for you?

Read the full article — link in comments.

❄ P.S. Enjoy this Andrew Wyeth painting – Fence Line 1967, provided by Redtree Times

01/11/2026

Not every heavy season needs to be solved. Some ask only to be noticed.

This Sunday Morning Café reflection explores melancholy, sacred stillness, and the slow, unseen work of transformation that unfolds when we stop rushing toward resolution.

☕ Read “A Recipe for Winter-Stark Days (and Nights)” here: https://www.tomwagnerspeaker.com/post/a-recipe-for-winter-stark-days-and-nights