Inner Focus, Enriching Perspective from the Inside Out

12/30/2025

Understanding the PDA Nervous System
Why It’s Not “Won’t,” It’s “Can’t”

If you really want to understand PDA, you have to understand the nervous system underneath it.
Because PDA isn’t about personality.
It’s not about behaviour.
It’s not about “choices.”
It’s a physiological profile, a brain-body system wired to detect pressure differently.
And once you understand that, everything about PDA makes sense.

A PDAer’s nervous system is built on protection first

Think of the PDA nervous system like a highly sensitive alarm system.
It wasn’t designed for compliance, it was designed for survival.

Demands, big, small, spoken, unspoken, all get processed as:
⚠️ pressure
⚠️ loss of autonomy
⚠️ potential overwhelm
⚠️ threat to safety

Not because the person is dramatic.
Not because they’re avoiding responsibility.
But because their body sends a signal that says:
“This is too much right now.”

So what counts as a “demand”?
Here’s the part many people miss:
• “Time to get ready.”
• “Can you turn off your game?”
• “Let’s go.”
• “Choose one.”
• Routines
• Expectations
• Social interactions
• Even their own goals or plans

For a PDAer, these can activate the same part of the nervous system that responds to danger.
This is why they may freeze, negotiate, avoid, explode, comply then collapse, or mask until burnout hits.

The PDA nervous system moves FAST
A PDAer can switch states quickly:

Regulated → Activated
A tiny shift in tone, urgency, or expectation can send them straight into fight/flight.

Activated → Panic
Once adrenaline hits, logical thinking shuts down.
You’re now dealing with a survival response, not a behaviour.

Panic → Shutdown
If they can’t escape the demand, their system may go flat, numb, or inward.

None of this is conscious.
It’s neurobiological.

Why the nervous system reacts this way.....
PDAers often have:
✔️ High interoceptive sensitivity (or low — both can be overwhelming)
✔️ High threat perception
✔️ High sensitivity to control
✔️ Difficulty regulating once activated
✔️ Strong need for autonomy to feel safe
✔️ Intense emotional experiences
✔️ Deep thinking + anxiety loops
✔️ A history of masking or misunderstanding

It’s a profile wired to stay in control to stay safe.

And here’s the part families need to hear:
When a PDAer resists, avoids, panics, argues, or shuts down when faced with a demand…
They are not being difficult.
They are not being oppositional.
They are not manipulating you.
They are protecting their nervous system the only way their body knows how.

What helps the PDA nervous system feel safe?
Predictability without rigidity
Collaboration instead of instructions
Declarative language (“I’m wondering…”)
Choice and autonomy
Low-pressure environments
Humour, connection, shared control
Pauses and gentle pacing
Interest-led engagement
Non-judgmental co-regulation
Removing shame from the equation

Safety first.
Connection second.
Then maybe ..... maaaaaaybe ......the demand can be explored.

If you take nothing else from this,
PDA isn’t a behaviour problem.
It’s a nervous system profile.
And once you support the nervous system, everything else can soften.

12/25/2025

12/19/2025

12/09/2025

If you are sighted, I’d love to invite you to read this. These simple tips make a real difference for those of us who are blind or have low vision and these tips cost nothing. When you do these small things, you help create safety, dignity, and true human connection.

Please use your voice.
As you approach us, identify yourself. A simple, “Hello, I’m Tammy, would you like help crossing the street?” allows us to connect with you in ways we cannot do visually. Hearing your name gives us a point of reference and helps us feel oriented.

If you know our name, please use it.
When someone says, “Hi Gina,” I know for sure you are speaking to me. Without using our name, we often can’t tell when someone is speaking if it is meant for us or for someone else nearby.

If you can add who you are, that is also very helpful.
When you say, “Hi Gina, it’s me Kris, from. …….” we then know you’re speaking to us and we know who we’re speaking with. We can’t see name tags, uniforms, or facial expressions, so your words become our visual information.

Please tell us when you’re leaving.
This one is huge. If you need to go, simply say, “I’ve got to go,” or “See you later.” It’s incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing to keep talking, only to realize you walked away and we were speaking to no one.

Please understand that voice recognition isn’t always easy.
Even familiar voices can be hard to identify without visual cues. Busy environments make it even harder. Traffic, conversations, children playing, radios and background noise can all make it difficult to pick your voice out of the soundscape.

Please don’t turn our interaction into a guessing game. It might seem playful, but for us it can be confusing, uncomfortable, and exhausting. We really appreciate clear, direct communication rather than being asked to guess who is speaking or what’s happening.

Silence around us can feel unsettling or even frightening.
When someone stands nearby and says nothing, we may not see your body language or facial expressions. We do not know your intentions. Imagine standing in thick fog, sensing someone is there, but not knowing their next move. Your voice brings safety and clarity.

Your verbal “hello” matters.
We can’t see your smile, wave, or nod. When you say “Hello,” we receive it as that same friendly gesture that sighted people exchange all day long.

If we don’t respond, please try again.
Get our attention, say our name if you know it, or simply say “Hi.” We would truly love the chance to connect and say hello back.

Please never grab us, our white cane, or a guide dog’s harness.
This happens far more often than people realize. Being grabbed by a stranger is frightening for anyone. It can cause injury, disorientation, and it interferes with our ability to safely use our cane. If you want to help, ask first and follow our instructions.

Please see us as people first.
Instead of asking us very personal questions like “What caused your blindness?” try questions you would ask anyone. “What do you enjoy doing?” “Where have you travelled?” Or even, “How are you finding accessibility?” These are meaningful, respectful ways to connect.

Every person who is blind or has low vision is different, even if a diagnosis is the same. Please don’t group us together. Get to know us as individuals. We each have different strengths, confidence levels, preferences, supports, and experiences. Our differences are simply that, differences and that’s what makes all of us human.

These small actions take seconds, cost nothing, and can change someone’s entire experience of the world.

“Having a disability does not change who we are, it changes our interactions with the world!”-Gina Martin

Diverse Abilities Programs Inc., offers training in respectful interactions with those of us living with disabilities. Check out our programs DiverseAbilities.ca



Photo description
Gina is standing on a path, in a park. Purple spring flowers are in bloom in the tall grass on both sides of the path. Sunshine is shining through the many trees behind her. Gina is wearing a brown top, black jeans and sunglasses while holding her long white cane.

12/05/2025

11/30/2025

10/29/2025

Won’t you take me to - fun and funky town! Cute multi-strand leather choker. Colorful! Boho!