drnicolepoell

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Oakland, CA
drnicolepoell

I'm a psychologist in California specializing in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, EMDR and IFS

10/16/2022

Who can relate?!? 🙋‍♀️

03/27/2021

What is something that gives your life meaning? Write it in the comments!

If you don’t know, I would you can comment on what you’d like to be doing!

I’ll start: volunteering for a rescue.
I probably put as much or more time into volunteering as I do into work. I don’t care that I spend hours on the road or my phone because I get to do something that matters to me.

01/13/2021

Values pie chart

I often talk to my clients about filling up their pie chart; meaning doing things that matter to you in a variety of areas.

I recently took a leap of faith from a secure job into full-time private practice because I realized I wasn’t doing what I preached. I realized my pie chart was mostly work. I found things outside of work that provided purpose, joy and community.
It was scary and it took time to make that decision but overall I realized that even though security is nice, it won’t make life meaningful.

Reevaluating what we spend our days on and whether that’s fulfilling and satisfying is such an important habit to be created. It’s so easy getting stuck in the familiar, safe and comfortable that we don’t see how it eats away at us.

So, what is on your pie chart?

11/17/2020

What is your greatest fear?

I recently asked this in one of my groups. The fascinating thing was that even though answers ranged from “being like my parent” to “killings myself,” the commonality group members shared was about a fear of disconnection!

This is what Brené Brown describes as “shame.” A universal fear that we can trust we all have in common even if nobody talks about it.

What to do with this fear/shame?
What if we turn to it and view it as a guide, an opportunity to learn something about ourselves, our needs and values? What would your greatest fear tell your? How might it be a guide? ❤️

10/10/2020

Just something to brighten our day while reminding us all that self-care is one of the most important pieces to our mental health ❤️

10/09/2020

Marble Jar

Brené Brown mentioned the marble jar in relation to building trust, connection and belonging. It’s a lovely way to think about vulnerability. It’s not about trusting 100%, it’s about trusting a little at a time and trusting yourself to trust safely.

Let’s change the narrative that we can’t trust anyone; thus, building bigger and stronger walls to keep out pain all to end up locked up with pain and suffering instead.

Isn’t that a paradox?! We try so hard to not have what is human to have... pain. The wall doesn’t just keep pain at bay, it also keeps out love, joy, laughter and connection! Is this cost worth it?

What is the solution? Trying harder? Being smarter? Being better?
No, you’ve already tried that! So much effort, so much time, so much suffering on top of pain.

Willingness! Being willing to have what is humanly yours - pain AND love. This might not sound like the answer you wanted but it’s the only one that will tear down the walls and lay open a path to being more fully alive!

The marble jar is not just for other people, it’s also for us. Letting yourself trust yourself a little at a time, checking in with what is in line with what truly matters to you and adding a marble every time you work for yourself rather than against yourself ❤️

09/13/2020

Shame

It has so many faces!
Anger, resentment, depression, fear, zealousness, determination, success, being busy, being seen; running a home, work and a non-profit; addiction, trauma, power.... what’s underneath? Vulnerability

I’ve been listening to a bunch of talks and audiobooks by Brené Brown and have been feeling quite inspired by her! She defines shame as fear of disconnection. Shame is a silent killer... we don’t even know it’s there and it’s eating us up from the inside!

The first step in disarming it is bringing it into the light, naming it when it shows up, sharing our true selves with people we trust

What face does shame take on for you? ❤️

I’ll start...

08/23/2020

As I’m sitting here, in California, reflecting on this year with just more and more piling on that strains our sanity, I can’t help but ground myself in compassion and kindness.

It’s not enough that we’re deprived of human contact, threatened by an invisible force and a volatile political climate, now the fires are raging and adding to the world’s already existing chaos, terror and unbelievable madness.

I can only send out compassion to all beings on this planet and hope that through it all we find kindness and compassion in our lives, helping us continue to move forward, whatever that means at this very moment. Remember your values, they’re not about what you have but who you are - that, you can never lose!

Remember that our environment impacts our mental health and only through awareness and compassion can we recognize what’s going on and implement change, even if only within ourselves.

Deprivation, smoke, fear, hopelessness, irritability, impulsivity etc will try to push you in directions that aren’t in line with your values... of course that’s normal and natural when we’re pushed to our limits, so extend kindness to yourself, your feelings and experiences are valid! AND find small ways to come back to what trielt matters to you.

I hope everyone is safe out there! ❤️

07/23/2020

Dating in the COVID era

Human contact and connection are built into our DNA. We need it! We crave it!

COVID-19 really put a wrench in it, esp with dating. How do we adjust to this strange time and the desire to find love, have s*x or find friendship? I’ve heard many answers from “I just don’t date” to “I don’t care”, both of which are probably quite unhealthy.

Couldn’t this time be an opportunity for a different kind of dating? What if we spent much more time exploring and getting to know each other than just waiting for the infamous third date (if even that). Could COVID be a way to help us slow down or manage social anxiety bc we’re focused on health? Could this be a chance to date more mindfully?

I have no answer, just questions to be pondered ❤️

Address

4000 Broadway
Oakland, CA
94611

Opening Hours

7am - 7pm

Telephone

+15103062420

Website

http://www.drnicolepoell.com/

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