11/05/2021
Pep talk for all of us 💙
There’s this big giant ‘elephant in the room’ of the parenting world...and I'm done going along with it being unacknowledged and unchallenged.
Everyday this misconception makes many parents feel frustrated, defeated and hopeless.
It makes them feel like their child is less than.
Worst of all, it feeds into a giant cycle of negativity and resentment in the parent-child relationship which can last for YEARS.
If you follow this page, you know I strongly believe that the world needs all kinds of kids...and it drives me CRAZY to think that any child would get the message that they're 'wrong' or 'not enough'.
Sadly, I believe this is a message many strong-willed spirited children inadvertently get every day, from well-meaning teachers, coaches, and parents.
These strong determined energetic souls are told to be quiet, stop moving and to keep their thoughts and opinions to themselves...and oftentimes it comes with a disapproving glance or disparaging sigh.
(Children are much better at reading between the lines than we give them credit for)
Somewhere along the line in parenthood, we were sold a false bill of goods.
We were made to believe that kids who don't immediately listen, comply and OBEY are BAD. That there's something 'wrong with them that needs to be fixed.
When you enter into parenthood harboring this misconception and then have a child who by NATURE doesn't always listen, cooperate and obey your every command it sets you up for a DANGEROUS trap.
You begin desperately striving towards some false ideal of what 'a good child' is using any means necessary (threats, punishments, harsh tones, and WORSE), all the while you're literally fighting AGAINST the way that your child naturally ticks.
Why is it treated as some sort of secret that around 15% of kids are born with a strong-willed temperament? Why are parents not told that these personality traits are biological and serve many great purposes in the world?
On top of that, we're made to believe the load of crap theory that 'one parenting style fits all'.
When you're made to feel as though the very essence of who your child is, is BAD... how can you even begin to effectively work with them to teach them how to cooperate, listen and be respectful?
The short answer? You can't, at least not effectively or healthily. So you try 'all the things' in the conventional parenting handbook, and they fail miserably every time.
I totally get it, because I've been there. Trying the same parenting approaches over and over with no long-term success. Sometimes my 'power' or dominance was able to momentarily 'win' in certain situations, but that was always followed by a hard hit to our relationship and parent-child connection (and a lack of actual effective teaching and learning).
But here’s what I’ve realized in my 15 years of working with these strong and sensitive children as a Child Therapist, and 10 years of living under the same roof as 2 of them myself…
Every child is a GIFT and here in this world for a reason. Parenthood is a gift you only get one shot at, and one-size-fits-all parenting approaches are not going to cut it for a spirited persistent temperament.
You are a good parent- and your child is a GOOD kid. You just need different tools and a better understanding of how your child learns and what motivates them.
There is a different path for you and your spirited child- full of connection and joy, and you can start that journey TODAY. 👉Get a spot on the waitlist for my first of its kind online course Confident & Connected and have a new life with your behaviorally challenging child in 8 weeks >> https://parentswithconfidence.ck.page/835c2bfe7a
