Real Hope Counseling Discipleship

04/11/2023

Important truth-

I‘m a mental health therapist at a Christian counseling center. I love my job, but I sometimes sense the confusion around being a believer and struggling with mental health.

Because sometimes when I ask a client about their emotional well-being, they become defensive or withdrawn because they’ve been taught that big emotions and crying are an indicators of a lack of faith, and they don’t want to be judged or look like a “weak” Christian.

I will ask people about trauma they’ve endured, and I’m often met with “I surrendered that to God, so I don’t need to talk about it”, only to find that their trauma is very much impacting their daily life still.

It gets tricky when people come in who are upset that they even need to be getting help, because they think prayer should be enough. They are angry that God hasn’t just healed them.

So sometimes, they just hide it and deny it.

The truth is, God can take care of it however He wants to.

But sometimes, (oftentimes, I believe) God doesn’t snap His fingers and heal people because He knows how important the process of healing is.

He knows that a person is humbled when they need to ask for help.

He knows that connecting with and opening up to someone about our pain, even if they’re a professional, is SO important. Just speaking the words out loud takes power away from the darkness.

He knows that He could instantly heal us from trauma, but the healing process we will walk through is what will change us forever. It’s what will refine us.

He also knows it’s our own hardship that will allow us to empathize with others, and be a source of hope to those who go through something similar.

The healing process hurts. Sometimes it hurts worse before it gets better. But if God wants you to walk through the healing process, it’s for a reason.

Remember, seeking help doesn’t mean God has failed in healing you. It means He might want to use other means to heal you- sometimes that comes in the form of a supportive human or therapy.

Seeking help is not a “I-guess-Jesus-isn’t-enough” type of strategy. It’s not a “plan B”.

It’s taking care of your soul.

Seek help if you need it. Because Jesus is always involved in our healing no matter what form it looks like.

But please..

Don’t deny what God wants to heal.

~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog

08/25/2021

"The Christ who bought you will not abandon you to the dark. "

How his example can encourage believers who “walk in darkness, and see no light.”

07/23/2021

Practical steps that can be helpful-

Self-regulation is a fundamental skill and can be learned. I’ll be doing a podcast on this topic so leave your questions below!

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01/27/2021

When suffering comes (not if), what lens will we choose to help us process our pain? Ideally, that's a choice to be made ahead of time.
This is some powerful, practical truth from Paul David Tripp. His book on hope, entitled "Suffering," is on my "top 5" list-

My cell phone rang and woke me up. Luella, my wife, was on the other end. “Get home as fast as you can,” she said. The car journey seemed to take forever. Our daughter, Nicole, had been walking home from work in the city when a drunk and unlicensed driver lost control of her SUV, careened up onto the sidewalk, and crushed Nikki against a wall.

Doctors told us later that if this accident had happened in the suburbs, Nicole probably wouldn’t have lived long enough to get to the hospital. The center part of her skeleton had been shattered—eleven breaks of her pelvis alone, plus many other devastating injuries.

I am thankful to report that Nicole is doing very well today, but for three years of intense recovery, we simply focused on getting her through the day and hoped and prayed that tomorrow would be better. The physical pain was accompanied by emotional and spiritual travail.

When suffering enters your door, and it will, where do you look for hope, rest, and relief? If you are near someone in pain, what comfort do you offer them? Where do you run when people fail you, and God seems impossible to understand?

For the Tripp family, the promise of heaven gave us what we needed to face each morning. Not just the assurance that God has guaranteed us a future free from physical suffering, but that he has promised to protect us in the meantime. One passage, in particular, gave us practical and transformative hope:

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials” (1 Peter 1:3-6, ESV, added emphasis mine).

The Enemy tried to whisper in my ear, “But Paul, God didn’t guard you or Nicole. Look what happened to your family.” But guarded doesn’t mean that God will give you a ticket out of difficulty and pain. No, this promise of protection addresses a more profound danger than the physical and circumstantial challenges we all face in this fallen world.

Guarded means that in your moment of suffering, God provides you with the grace to fight bitterness, doubt of God, and the temptation to run away from your faith. This protective grace allows us not to give way to panic and fear, bombarding ourselves with questions no human can answer.

Peter cannot think about today’s suffering without looking at it from the perspective of an eternity tomorrow. Notice his language: “living hope,” “resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,” “inheritance … kept in heaven for you,” and “salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.”

Peter is saying that what is coming is a critical lens for understanding our present painful experiences. When we put on these gospel glasses, we indeed will experience “living hope.” This hope is something different than the empty optimism of distant, religious clichés. It is the security of real provision in desperate times of need.

Every day of your life, whether you have eyes to see it or not, God is guarding you. His presence guarantees that when the door of heaven opens, you will be there to walk through it. Not only that, but it guarantees help along the way. The One who promised you forever is your Guard along the way.

There is absolutely no circumstance where he will abandon you before you are on the other side of eternity with him forever!

God bless-

Reflection Questions

1. What is the most devastating news you ever received?

2. What made the news so crushing?

3. How did you respond in the immediate aftermath to receiving that news? What did you tell yourself about God and his promises?

4. How did God guard you through that period of loss or suffering? How is God protecting you today, even if you are not experiencing difficulty?

5. How can you bring practical comfort and hope to others who are suffering right now? How can you incarnate the person of Jesus in specific ways and avoid relying on religious clichés?

10/15/2020

Moving is always hard on a counseling practice. It takes time to re-establish word of mouth recommendations. Added to that, I recently discovered that my website wasn't appearing in online searches for many months. The provider has apologized for their error, but I also should have been more proactive.
After much thought and prayer, I deactivated my website this afternoon. Counseling is my heart and I'll keep my license current, but more than ever, I'll see those that God specifically sends my way. I'm NOT retiring, but I am scaling back and making room for new possibilities.
Over the last many months, my life has been radically enriched as I learn more about spiritual formation. I've been passionate about journaling for a long time, but there are numerous other beautiful tools available, to help us draw near to God and experience real intimacy with Him. What an ideal place for healing and growth!
Thank you for journeying with me! Jesus has always been and will always be our "Real Hope-"

07/21/2020

Helpful thoughts on Hope-

When everything feels hopeless, hope is closer than you may think. These 4 things can help you cultivate healthy thinking habits.

05/10/2020

This is both meaningful and practical-

04/05/2020

Some encouraging, grace-filled wisdom-

03/29/2020

Beautiful comfort-

Tears are a fact of life and an expression of the pain we experience. The little book of Ecclesiastes prepares us to interpret them.