01/11/2026
My healing and wellness journey over the last five years, a story of hope, perseverance, and the reminder that hard things take hard work.
Without realizing it at the time, this journey began with the death of my father on July 2, 2020. I remember that morning like it was yesterday. What I don’t remember is the rest of the day. I numbed myself with bourbon, a lot of it. It flowed freely as I rode the Ranger, sat in Dad’s old tree stands, and drank in his beloved hunting cabin, with brief trips back to the house to check on my mother, my siblings, and the visitors who came to grieve with us.
Then came a series of job transitions, each one tied to trying to find where I fit and who I thought I was supposed to be, chasing a place, a feeling, a sense of belonging. From State Party Chair, to Deputy Chief Administrative Officer, to Chief of Staff at the Delaware Auditor of Accounts, I kept searching outward for something that had to be found within.
Eventually came the realization that I was an alcoholic. My last drink, awful, painful, and humbling, became the most beautiful gift I’ve ever received. Today marks 1,550 days, one day at a time.
Then came the beautiful birth of our third child, Abram, a reminder of life’s purest joy and purpose.
And then, quietly and persistently, an old familiar companion returned, depression. I was frustrated and confused. I was fighting so hard to stay sober, how could I be sober and still depressed?
That question led me to one of the most life changing experiences I’ve ever known, a 21 day holistic mental health and wellness retreat in Utah. It challenged me, softened me, rebuilt me, and taught me how to regulate my body, quiet my mind, and heal patterns that traditional paths had never touched. I returned home in the strongest emotional, mental, and spiritual place of my life.
Shortly after, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer.
Another life altering moment. Another unexpected gift. Another invitation to see the world, and myself, differently.
The last two years have been about learning, growing, and finally taking care of me, nurturing my mind, body, and spirit while caring for my beautiful family.
The growth is real.
It’s raw.
It’s living life on life’s terms.
Some days are beautiful. Some days are messy. But I’ve been given the gift of living one day at a time, one moment at a time. I don’t have to understand yesterday, and I don’t have to figure out tomorrow.
How will tomorrow unfold? I don’t know.
But in this moment, I know this,
Today was a beautiful gift.
